Why is this awful Olivia Newton John song playing in my damn head? It’s like my inner radio is stuck on WSUK – all suck, all the time. It’s possible that it’s a message from the great beyond and if so, I’d like to redirect them to better song choices to get that messsage through. (I’m now listening to it to see if there is indeed a message. So far … no.)
(geez, this was drecky – right up there with Afternoon Delight – bleah. All her songs of that timeframe were mealy-mouthed and floaty. Just. No.)
Anyway, I’m excited to have FIVE days off (woo hoo!) – today I’m taking the kids to doggie day care and then going to the library to work on my PI Mentoring Program. I so wish we had a good coffee shop over here but alas, no.
(As an aside: We just have a Dunkin Donuts and in the morning all the old farts gather to discuss how to get the “Keynan Muslim Socialist” currently occupying the white house out. And you know I just cannot stand hearing bald faced lies without my blood pressure going through the roof. Do they listen to facts? Awww, hell no. Facts are bullshit, man! We’d rather listen to the voices in Glenn Beck’s head tell us what to think.)
Can’t wait to teach these 9 wonderful women all the stuff I know about doing intuitive readings. I’ve taken eleven million courses over the years on intuitive development but there’s nothing out there exactly like this. I want to work with conscious individuals who are dedicated to walking their higher spiritual path. Those who are just getting on that path, well, I’m not the best teacher for that. And since it’s beginner levels, there are TONS of courses around.
This desire to teach this particular thing came at the intersection of two events: one was being asked to receive a reading from a budding intuitive in exchange for feedback on it and the other was listening to one of my fellow intuitives give readings that I felt weren’t as helpful as they could have been. My focus has always, always been on bringing that broad guidance down to earth and helping others put it into action. (Hence, practically intuitive) so when I receive readings or hear others give readings that don’t offer that, it always PINGS me. Sort of a reminder to go do that thing.
So, I did! And nine people followed along with me into this journey. Wheee!
Today is Lauren’s 27th birthday and I really wonder where she’d have been in her life now had her soul decided to stay. There wasn’t a person around who didn’t feel her radiant inner light and I know that were she here today, she would be continuing to shine that Light for others in some unique way.
I’ve said it before and it’s true always: I think of her every single day. And I’m so so so thankful that she is able to make contact with me from the other side. If I didn’t hold the belief that I will be with her again (as we have been together in many, many lifetimes before), I’d probably never crawl out of the well of sadness that her leaving created in my heart. She’s the closest I came to having a child of my own (she’s the child who was born of my heart if not my body) and that’s an experience I am so grateful to have.
Watched this wonderful video about a young man with the same type of cancer Lauren had (osteosarcoma) and saw the kind of Light in him that I also saw in her. (It’s 22 minutes of joy and tears – so worth watching. He just transitioned from the physical on Monday.)
Bless those who can shine that light in such a big, big way and inspire us to make the best use of our time in this incarnation.
This is a snippet of a song by The Cure called “From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea” – as brooding, turbulent and intense of a song as you’ll hear.
And these are my favorite lines from it – because there have been times in my life where I found myself in that turbulent place and tried to pretend it away.
Never never never never never let me go she says
Hold me like this for a hundred thousand million days
But suddenly she slows
And looks down at my breaking face
Why do you cry? what did I say?
But it’s just rain I smile
Brushing my tears away
I wish I could just stop
I know another moment will break my heart
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years I’ve cried over you
If you’re inclined to listen to some intensely tortured music, you can check out the live version here.
(PS: This song came in front of me today and I was reminded of someone I miss – so this one’s for them, wherever they may be.)
Dear 5(?) fans of Snarkypants-land,
As usual, I’m here trying to excuse my absence but the truth is, every time I come to write something, nothing comes out. I’ve started three posts in the last few weeks and sit in front of a blank screen trying to decide what to say.
I’m as tired of hearing myself whine as you all are. It’s a lot worse inside my head, let me tell ya.
So, I’m going to focus on the good (for this post, don’t get all excited about it being permanent, mmkay?) and see where it takes me.In a haze of “I want someone to love and adore me”, I decided that the answer was a dog named Pearl. Yes. Part rottie, part hound or something, she’s a lovebug alright.
She’s also terribly undisciplined and both headstrong AND submissive at the same time. (I don’t know how that works in her own mind, truly.) I’m not (totally) sorry we got her but I did not really understand nor did I want the amount of work it’s taking to help her do well. She gets carsick so every drive to Camp Melissa is an adventure. She snarfs her food like it’s going out of style and while she’s (thankfully) not mean about it, she does tend to horn in on Brogan’s portion and he’s already a picky eater as it is. Yet, it’s the warmth of her eyes and the feel of her full body against me when she snuggles with me that makes all that worthwhile(ish).
As an aside: Duty and I surely would have been divorced if we had a child because our parenting styles are beyond different. I lack the discipline gene that he has in spades and our child would have been torn between ‘pushover mom’ and ‘discipline dad’. There is no winning that game at all for any of us. Best we have dogs and I learn how to be more disciplined in a way that won’t send anyone to therapy years later.
Anyway, it’s been an adventure bringing a new energy into our pack but as the days go by she fits in a bit better. What with the horrendous car fears/motion sickness issues and the one time we put her in a crate away from Brogan and went out, she just about lost her shit, it’s been interesting. Still, not dealbreakers.
Happy Happy Joy Joy! My pilot course on teaching others how to do good, useful intuitive readings filled right up! I was so damn happy! I feel I’ve found a bit of my sweet spot with getting back on track focusing on spirit guide work and this is just more reassurance that it’s totally the case. All good things going on at PI.
Mother’s day was nice – I got twisty swirl ice cream from Duty (I asked him to fetch it and he did!), cards and a ride on my bike to the water for some peace. Lovely day, all the way around.
three five readers,
Well, I made it through the time of astrological turmoil unscathed, I think. YEY! It WAS definitely a time of intense revelations (as I wrote about last time) – all of which I diligently worked through (and again, big ass thanks to my coach who has been with me this whole way).
It all started with me worrying that the Universe was going to take something (someone) away that I loved. And it ended with a closer relationship with my Dad (now in Spirit) and a willingness to be open to letting other things BE in my life.
Looking at how my mom just shut herself down after she was forced to give up the love of her life and then again after my dad died, I see that I also do that in certain areas. (As I mentioned in the last post as well.)
OPENING up my heart to what I want and even more OWNING that I want it is my next level of work. You’d think that would be easy, right? hahahah You know me not, my friends! :) But what you DO know and what IS true is that I will walk into that work and see what’s waiting for me. Because there is joy and growth there (and you know I’m all about the personal growth, yo.).
On other non-life-transforming fronts:
* Looking at another doggie named Pearl. (That name will change. It reminds me of old people. She’s not really a Cookie, much as I want her to be, alas.) We’ll see how she gets along with the Broganator. I have no idea why I’m doing this which is often not such a good sign. We’ll know for sure when we meet her tomorrow.
* Ever the Libra: I don’t overly mind going in to work at ye olde place of employ every day but all told, I’d rather not. But then (here comes the Libra voice) I never got much accomplished when I hung out at home all day so even if I want to stay home and have delusions about doing all kinds of cool stuff, in reality, I mostly fart around. Probably better that I take my ass somewhere and accomplish something.
* Over at Practically Intuitive, I’ve come home to doing what I know I do really well and, as an extra added bonus, I’m actually claiming it! I have no idea how I got to be a hugely clear channel for Spirit Guide teams but I am. And I’m seriously awesome at it. So, claiming and owning that 100% instead of making it just another tool in the toolbox. All this makes me laugh (in a sort of sad, ironic “what a dumbass you can be” sort of way) because I started out my woo-career (professionally) doing SG readings and then meandered onto another path and another and finally another only to end up right back here where I started.
I supposed I had to go through those path$ (and spend a lot of money doing it) to acknowledge what I knew was true all along. My gifts are thus: 1) Channel for Spirit Guide teams 2) writer 3) ability to take their guidance and help people turn words into actions 4)help them do it with a warm, loving heart and 5)see others at soul level and help them see that, too. I know my focus now – and I’m running with it (at full speed, mind you!)
Ta for now, darlings!
Warning: this is turning out really long. Sorry about that.
Back in January, I had an astrologer look at my natal chart for this year to give me a sense of what energies will be around me. Now, you all probably know I’m not a believer in events written in stone but I do think there are energies around that offer space to grow and change in them. So, that’s mostly what I was seeking.
Both the astrologer and another friend who did a year forecast month-by-month indicated things were brewing in April and so, fearing the worst (as I do!), I have been in a frenzy and holding my breath waiting to see what energies were coming.
They started swirling early for me and leaving Crossfit (and Pilates) were a result of the revelations that came through. Pretty big ones, actually. I worked with them, left crossfit and kept on walking, having done that rather large piece of it.
Next step, then? (Because there’s always a next step, yo.)
Fortunately, my coach Jaelin can hear my Guides really, really well (when I can’t) and she was able to bring them through to tell me a couple things:
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Hello and happy Easter to all my wonderful blogpalz who leave me comments (and even those of you who don’t!)
Most of my posts these days are either catch-up ones or rants. This is more of the former with a dash of the latter.
Back to work
It’s been okay so far. The schedule stuff helps keep me organized and disciplined (after 30 years of it, how can it not?) and I still have time to do what I want. I leave the office at 1:45pm and that’s round about the time I start getting bored and antsy so it works perfectly. No traffic, no hassle, just peace.
It’s also nice to be able to see my friends, check in to see what’s going on with them and generally be around people I know and like. So, win/win for me there. Plus! Mundane tasks! Woo hooo! Although I do have to learn about and pass a dumb test on Structured Products (don’t even ask) and realized that all investing and financial stuff is just masturbation with money. Really. That’s all it is. It feels so stupid to me.
Thing is, I do believe money is an energy exchange. But making all these complicated ways to invest just seems futile to me. And they all take it so very seriously. Just the wrong energy for me to be dabbling in.
Shifting out of Crossfit and Pilates
I’d go into this in more detail but it involves a LONG story and details that only make sense to me. I’ll just say that the lessons I needed to get through both these fitness programs have been learned to the extent I can learn them at this point. It’s time to re-think where to go next with regard to my body. For now, riding my bike feels really nice and I’ll be doing that more as the weather gets nicer.
RE: Crossfit – I may go back at some point. I really liked what I achieved there and the confidence level I got as I did things I never thought I’d be able to do. Just right now it was too hard and I hated hearing myself say “I can’t do that” and “I can’t do this” – so, shifting for now.
Thanks to my wonderful coach, I’ve managed to steer myself back on track with PI. Since the debacle in January with that teacher who tore my ass up, I have re-directed my focus and content to who I am and what I want to share. I’ve stopped trying to follow all the rules of what I’m “supposed” to do and am back to being Just Lisa. That was definitely the way to go since people are showing back up for me. It’s nice.
It’s been said that going into business for yourself is one of the biggest growing experiences in a lifetime. I concur. Like a big dog, I concur. In the past year, I feel like I’ve grown more than in about 20 years previously.
(And, if you know me at all, you know I’m all about the growing and learning so when I say it’s a HUGE growth train, I’m talking high-speed monorail!)
And now, a sweet rant
Dear Christians who are so damn self-righteous,
Seriously, get down off your high-f’in-horse! I know the tenets of your belief apparently allow you to claim how right you are about every damn thing and that anyone who deviates from that is going to hell pronto. Guess what? That’s pretty much crap. Yep. It is.
But beyond that, here’s my issue: Your beliefs are YOURS. They do not extend to the rest of the world and no one is mandated to follow YOUR beliefs. Don’t believe in gay marriage? Don’t marry a gay person, then. Abortions are bad? Don’t have yourself one.
But who are you to tell everyone else what is right and what is wrong?
Who. the. fuck. are. you?
Who are you to decide what is right for others? What does it matter who marries whom? How does that affect you AT ALL? It doesn’t. AT ALL.
I cannot take that level of self-righteousness. Just cannot.
Perhaps I was an oppressed gay person in another life time but this issue (and the self-righteous “You’re a sinner and going to hell”) pisses me off to no end. I don’t believe in a punitive God and I don’t give one rat’s ass what any Bible says. It is not my truth. I live my life based on my truth and don’t feel the need to castigate others for believing differently.
I WILL castigate them (as I’m doing presently) for acting like know-it-alls and deciding for others what is appropriate.
(takes a sip of
scotch tea and calms the fuck down.)
OMMMM Shanti OMMM
How’s your life going? Wanna share? I’d love to hear all about it!
Here my A’s to your (unasked-for-but-I-can-read-your-mind) Q’s:
Dear FOUR readers whom I love muchly,
1) Yes, I did, in fact, spend $65 on a sports bra at Nordstroms because there is no way you can jump rope with double D’s and not live to regret it. Just sayin’, mmkay? I think the puppies are relatively strapped down but short of wearing two bras (which I hear IS done), this is as good as it gets.
2) I thought I was a loner. That must have changed some time in the last year because I’m more “lonely” than “loner” these days. Surely there’s a balance between dealing with morons for 8 hours a day AND sitting at home, sulking in silence, yes? I believe I haz found it. Read on, Mcduff!
3) Day 2 of part-time work position and I am quite happy about it. I don’t have to deal with 100 ringing phones, morons at the front desk, and idiot brokers (although speaking of such, Mr. Big Stuff gave me a huge hug when he saw me back in the office. Usually he talks shit about people and throws them under the bus. I believe he has done both with me at some point but it’s no longer relevant so he can be magnanimous, I suppose.). I am back in the corner suite working with the highest producing team in the office (MBS is knocking it out of the park this year – these ladies will have to kick some ass to catch up with him!) and their phones are not (too) crazy and I get to do all the crap work! YEY! (Seriously, give me a task and let me research and I’m happy.)
4) Part 2 of work: I am so happy to have a routine again and see my friends. I missed them all. And it’s also nice to be welcomed back into the fold with open arms. This may be a good balance between PI stuff and non-PI stuff. Plenty of time for both and it keeps me focused and moving so RAH RAH for me!
5) Brogan is LOVING his time at the doggie day care with second mama Melissa. He comes home exhausted and it’s so peaceful and nice. Win/Win for all.
6) Why is my ass ouching? Crossfit trainer takes no pity on the chubster. Just none. Today we did 5 overhead presses (I did 15lbs), 10 deadlifts and 15 step-ups. As many rounds as we could in 10 minutes. (I did 3) 15 lbs isn’t too bad the first go-round (and stop laughing at me all you people who are pressing a kazillion pounds in your sleep) but by the 3rd, my arms were tired, my butt was aching from doing the squats and the step ups and whew! My heart was beating out of my chest. I’ll be paying for this tomorrow.
I need some wine, a bubble bath and a massage.
None of which I’ll be getting tonight.
But a girl can dream, right?