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Remember my other “Oh hell, I’m in a fog” post? I’m there again, a mere fifteen days later. Not even floaties last night could help. Outside of one thing going on that I can’t control, stuff is fine so I don’t know what the damn fog is all about. Work has been very busy and somewhat stressful but we’re on the down side of the week so that’s probably not it. I just feel … foggy. And grumpy. Nothing is making me happy at all. (Except whining which I do so love, as you know.) My two-year old was buying things again (a book and a new mouse) which is usually an indication that she’s not happy. Might be time to have a chat with her. Usually, floaties make her happy but that didn’t do it at all last night. (sigh)

Announcement: Cousin O’Cool and husband have asked me and Duty to be new baby’s godparents! WHEEE!! Duty has accepted this with a vengeance and has taken to calling himself “The Godfather” and told me in no uncertain terms yesterday that I cannot append the (boy) baby’s name with Bella.

(Backstory, Cousin O’Cool was hardcore into the Twilight series and got me reading it. When she announced she was pregnant, I was sure (SURE!) it was a girl and that she must be called Bella. But, uh, not a girl or else it’s a girl with a dangly bit. At any rate, I planned to call him (whatever name they choose)Bella. (Like: Peterbella or JoeBella … you get the idea.) Cousin loves and indulges my whimsy but not THE GODFATHER. (Since he doesn’t read this here blog, I’ll mention off the cuff that he has what we will call “gender issues” – going completely nuts if they put a bow on Max or something. See? Issues.))

So, I plan to call my baby (something)Bella just not in front of The Godfather Duty. (tee hee) Debut of (name)Bella? End of this month. There is baby-holding in my future and you know how happy that makes me. (Happy Happy Joy Joy)

I missed some good memeage over at Gal’s so I plan to be stealing from her soon. Glad she’s in a happy posting mood. I need some creative juice. (Where can I buy that in a bottle?)

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I’d rather stay home and ponder questions of the Universe such as why Miley Cyrus was at the Oscars or was the bra I got for free yesterday a gift from the angels for having been stuck with a new cashier who took 25 minutes (YES, 25 minutes) to ring up two pairs of pants, a shirt and a bra. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized she didn’t ring up the bra. I am open to receiving the gifts of the Universe. (My coach suggested that I work on receiving since I seem to have a problem with that so I gratefully accept the gift of a bra.)

While Gal is over there posting her heart out (I can tell she’s feeling better by sheer volume!), I am stuck in a grumpy rut. Trying on clothes yesterday was a horror show. It reminded me that I best get my ass on track NOW with gym and eating because it ain’t working what I’m currently doing (no gym and eating what-the-fuck-ever). I look and feel hideous. And this with spring/summer on the way, too. Not good, Lisa. Not good at all.

Had an interesting astrology reading yesterday from Nancy over at Starlight Press. At least online, Nancy uses her immense talents by looking at the political climate with an eye toward the astrological energies that are afoot. She’s been quite accurate for many, many years and doesn’t hesitate to speak about the challenges we all face now and in the future. Anyway, I loved talking with her and she filled me in on what the energies are in my chart for the next three years. Again, free will comes into play so nothing is set in stone, but with the exception of something that will slow me down or restrain me from October – most of November, it all is very positive – especially as it relates to my spiritual work. There were more details, of course, but I’ll note for posterity that things seem to bust wide open for me end of 2012 into 2013. Remind me of that, k?

I’m happy to see the advent of spring on the horizon as was everyone else because the whole damn world was out and about yesterday. Stores and roads were packed. The snow is mostly melted on our front porch and I can see the two plants we have there peeping their little heads out asking “Is it safe to come out now??”

Off to shower and head into work. Have a happy day, all!

Saturday 9: Your Smiling Face

1. No matter what’s going on in your life, what always makes you smile?

Snuggling with kitty Sophia, holding babies, getting email from people I love, dancing

2. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

Oh good Lord – I’m not putting that out here for all the world to see.  I will, however, admit to opening Christmas packages ahead of time for many years when I was a child and then lying my ass off about it when I was caught. I don’t do it any more (that you know of).

3. Do you hold a grudge?

Nah, it takes too much energy. I can nurse small ones occasionally, though. 

4. What is the worst job you’ve ever had?

I worked for T. Rowe Price back in the day in an area where we computed portfolio performance by hand. (This was before the advent of computers, kids.  Circa 1988) The co-workers were bitchy, I was out of my element, I was put on probation for making so many mistakes (truth be told, I don’t know how I got the job or why because math never was my strong suit) – I cried and cried and cried and felt like I was in prison.  It was awful.

5. What would be your dream job?

I’d love to do Spirit Guide readings, spiritual coaching and teach others to access that ability within themselves.  That and, of course, follow Cookie and Hal around the country.

6. What is the happiest event you’ve experienced?

Passing my Series 7 test (stock broker’s license) was a pretty damn big deal for me.  It took me a couple tries to get it right but I did it.  Also, fitting into size 10 jeans a year after gastric bypass surgery. I looked good and I knew it. It was great.

7. What is the saddest thing you’ve experienced?

Understanding that it was Lauren’s soul’s wish to leave this earth and knowing that I had no ability to stop it or go in her place.  (I tried bargaining, oh yes I did. Many were the nights I talked with my Guides begging them to take me instead. They told me it doesn’t work that way. But I would have gone without hesitation or regret. If I could go back in time and make that deal, I would do it this very moment. (I’d kiss all my pets and post a note here to let you know.)

8. Do you tend to exaggerate or underestimate?

Well, I tend to drama it up a bit because I’m emo like that.

9. List the cars that you have owned. Give us just a few words about each one.

As a senior in high school, I drove the family station wagon that had only am radio – yes, I listened to am radio and the warblings of Andy Gibb on my way to school. 

Next up was a 67 mustang convertible that my idiot uncle talked me into buying. It was always breaking down or crapping out. It was a piece ‘o shit car but for about three seconds I looked good in it.

Then no car for quite a while.  That was fun. (not)  Metro buses and a mom who will come fetch you were lifesavers.

My aunt kindly bought me used car (an escort with no air conditioning. That was a sweatbox – good God!) This was totaled in an accident soon into my ownership (not my fault at all – crazy ass teenager rushing to get home before curfew flew through five lanes of traffic on a red light and hit me broadside.) and I was once again left without a car.

Which brings me to my beloved Geo Metro – I ran the hell out of that car and loved it to pieces. One of my co-workers called it the “crazy clown car”. 

After that was my Ford Taurus which I loved to pieces also.  Great car.  Hated giving that one up.

Second to the last stop was my Toyota Carolla which I also loved but Duty made me trade it in for a Prius.  I like the Prius (and it was in the Good Liberal’s handbook as the only car I should be driving – heh) but I loved my carolla. 

Four years ago Lauren closed her eyes to this world and opened them to another.  There are truly no words to describe how much our whole family misses her.  I don’t know just how she did it but she managed to understand people on a deep soul level.  She made them feel seen, understood and loved. 

While I was thinking of what to put in this post, I came across some cards she had given me over the years and thought it would be a nice visual for you guys to see how special she made me feel.  There are a few Eddie Izzard references in there, a hockey reference (dare you to find it)  and one goofing on her very own mom, Cousin O’Love for wearing a pajama top out in public. (Not on purpose, I don’t think!) 

Lauren had a very sweet and gentle spirit, full of love and light. She encouraged me in all my woo-woo activities because she knew what was in my heart and trusted that.  We were partners in crime, permanently twelve years old (and don’t you know she would have gladly gone with me to see David Cook just because) and soul sisters from many, many lives together. 

I wish she were still here for a million reasons (not all of them selfish),but I know that when I close my eyes here and wake up there, she will be waiting for me with arms wide open.  

On this day, I celebrate and honor all that Lauren’s life meant to me and to many others and send out a beam of yellow light to Cousin O’Love, La’s dad Steve and Artsy McFartsy herself. Life isn’t the same without her, is it? 

“With every goodbye you learn ….”

Duty has gone on a business trip to South Carolina for several weeks and it’s just me and the cats and Max here.  (throws confetti)  I don’t mind living with Duty, of course, but I do loves me some alone time.  He and I have, shall we say, different ways of doing things.  He prefers doing them “right now before (I) forget it” whereas I am more of a “I’ll get to it when I finish reading whatever website I happen to be surfing around on … or, like, later”.  That seems to frustrate him and his 20 years of military training.  I’m sure if I had that, perhaps I’d be dead or insane dutiful also.

So, this is a nice break for him because everything is  done on his timetable with the added bonus of no pets.  And a nice break for me because I’m not feeling guilty about all the stuff I ain’t doing. Surprisingly enough, things do get done.  In Lisa time.  Max and the cats don’t overly mind Lisa time.  At least Max and Lucie are well used to it having been with me for many, many years. We’re all good here.  And enjoying the quietude.

So, the pool at the gym is FINALLY back in working shape and I am beyond ecstatic about it. Christine and I did the requisite 25 minutes on the treadmill and then it was race to the pool to float for thirty minutes. I was in heaven. Heaven I tell you!

My inner two-year-old is so happy now. I didn’t know just how much I missed it.

And I’ve discovered something called Windows Live Writer which makes it MUCH easier to add cool stuff to the blog like pics and videos and whatnot. After I write and preview the entry, it imports it right into Wordpress and voila! A new fancy ass post! YEY for technology. Now if I can just figure out how to move all my files and music over from my old laptop, I’ll be in business. That’s for another day, I suppose.

I love him so. He played a show last night somewhere and a great photographer (only known to me as Livehead16) got this shot. Just gorgeous.

Off for a day of family visiting (in-laws and Aunt Nellie this time!) – catch you all later.