I come in to work this morning and find this email from a (prospective?) customer:
issue = I would like to start investing, and there seems to be a problem, why.
Umm, I dunno. Perhaps it’s because you are a serious dumbass and cannot figure out how to click the “Open an account and start investing button” that is right on the front page of our site?
But, okay, we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. You took it upon yourself to write. But, like, dude? Could you give us ONE damn idea what the actual problem might be so that we can help you?? Or has this turned into the “Psychic Investors Network”? I don’t have the first clue what the problem can be. So, you’ve wasted your time and mine by sending this email because now I have to write you back and think of a nice way to say this: “Dear Dumbass: How about you tell us (in more than 14 words, hopefully) just what, exactly, the problem seems to be. Is that something you think you can do? Gosh, let’s hope so.”
(Note to self: Keep repeating: “I love my job. I love my job” I love my job”.) (on edit, I think it should be “I love my paycheck, I love my paycheck, I love my paycheck” hehe)
We had tix to the Caps/Devils game last night (Caps won 3-2) and it was a fun game. The first period couldn’t have been slower – I think the Mighty Mites were moving faster than the Caps! Snore. No penalties, no fights. What the hell is going on??? But they woke up in the second period and the game got really good. Lots ‘o penalties and a bit ‘o tussling. Alright!!!
Props, as always, to Olie Kolzig for being an awesome goalie and to Mike Grier who works his ASS off on the ice every single game he’s in. He hustles out there and it’s awesome to watch. I do like Brendan Witt with short hair but I miss the “Greasy Jesus” look he sported last season. (I still miss our seatmates Heather and Curt … they were fun to sit next to)
Should I offer my ad writing services for free to these guys?
Perusing the personals for grins on Yahoo and found this one. I so wanted to write this guy and tell him that this is not the best way to attract prospective new lovers … (sigh, that’s me. Always trying to save people from themselves, hey?)
IM JUST A SINGLE MAN WAS MARRIED NOW IM NOT BUT STILL I NEED A WOMEN FROM TIME TO TIME I JUST DO NOT WANT MY FEELINGS HURT ANYMORE IT JUST SEEMS LIKE EVERY RELATION SHIP IVE EVER HAD WANT BAD SOONER OR LATER SO I GIVE UP LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT LOVE IT,S JUST NOT THERE FOR ME I GUESS, SO IM LOOKING FOR A GOOD LOOKING WOMEN THAT LOVES SEX AS MUCH AS I DO EVEN IF I HAVE TO PAY HER FOR IT , STILL IT,S BETER THEN GETTING YOUR HEART HURT LATER ON ,BUT IF THE RIGHT WOMEN EVER DOES COME ALONG ILL MERRY HER IN A MINUTIE , IM THE KIND OF MAN THAT IF A WOMEN TAKES CARE OF ME & PLEASE ME ILL DO WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO KEEP HER PLUS I ENJOY MAKING A WOMEN HAPPY TO IN AND OUT OF BED I GET PLASURE OUT OF HER ENJOYING HER SELF I SURE DO LOVE WOMEN ALL WOMEN THEY CAN REALY BE GREAT IF THE RIGHT ONE COMES ALONG BUT I GUESS IT,S THE SAME IF THE SHOE WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT , BYE HOPE TO GET E-MAIL FROM SOMEONE
I wonder if he got any responses and if so, what kind of woman would respond? It just made me sad to read it. (And not only because he was so grammatically challenged, either!)
Then I came upon this one:
To tell you the absolute truth, I’m going through an ugly, divorce from a mean-spirited female at the moment. I’m not looking for anything long-term, but if that happens, it happens.
But I’m not bitter at all, noooooooooooo.
Geeez oh whiz …
Prince Albert N. Decann writes to me:
It’s the world of various artists, it’s the world of ad infitium, it’s the world of remote controls and supersize it, it’s the world of 255 channels in digital sound and picture, it’s mega bookstores, it’s information beamed to my pager, it’s porn on demand, it’s Ebay and Yahoo, it’s CNN 24X7, hence the world of the quest, the hunt, the control, the rush of adrenaline, euphoric almost
psuedo-orgasmic, one moment it’s about fung shui, the next it can be about understanding computer networks, the ability to use the other 3/4ths of our brain, where will the next level of evolution occur, it’s inevitable…
“The rush of the start …” is what he and I were discussing the other day. What is it about the rush that pulls us in? Is it an addiction thing? He and I were laughing about how we get all jazzed buying books yet many of them are never read. I have a huge library of books and I have read (cover to cover or even just parts) of about a third of them. But getting interested in a subject and then finding all kinds of information on it just thrills me. H says I am all about “gaining the knowledge” whereas he is all about “experiencing the moment” (and that is true).
What’s that about? I wonder if it has to do with my feeling safe when I have books around me (even unread ones). I have always run away into books, as a child and still as an adult. And the older I get, the less I want to go out and explore. I am content to explore in my mind. Hmmmmmm … I have a feeling this is something to ponder in the coming months.
And speaking of the coming months:
What’s everyone’s New Year’s resolution?
Mine is really very simple: I will finally get my shit together! See how easy that is?? :)
Come on, ‘fess up. What’s your NYR?