From Tori Amos’s song “A Sorta Fairytale”
And I’m so sad
like a good book
I can’t put this
a sorta fairytale
a sorta fairytale
“I think that there is a place where she realizes that people come in and out of your life. Sometimes for a day, sometimes for longer. And all of them make you what you are. You can’t separate these people out of you. They form who you are. Even the ones that you kind of say well…you know, I don’t know if I wanna be formed by them anymore. (laughs) But you are in some way. You are. That’s why, maybe, you don’t have to look at them so harshly because they have affected you. At the end, though, you know…it’s us as individuals with our…mm…with our love. For something intangible, that when soulmates come and go, you’re never alone even when you’re standing just you in your shoes, because you carry them with you.”
And I won’t comment further on that. It just is, you know?
FUN! I have to get a tooth pulled on Tuesday and even though the tooth itself doesn’t hurt (had a root canal on it years ago), the part where it’s attached to my gum is inflammed and it hurts whenever I eat or drink anything. That makes for a fun time, let me tell you. I have to decide if what I am about to eat or drink is worth the pain and throbbing. Mostly, I have decided to just drink my protein shakes and skip the actual eating part which causes too much pain in general. Aspirin seems to take care of the pain but if I don’t catch it fast enough, I have to sit and wait until it takes effect. Blargh. If I had my druthers, I’d have it out now and be done with it.
I think my JavaPeeg is kind of personality-less. She is like the opposite of Pizmo … whenever I hold her or pet her she just sits there like a damn lump. She runs around the cage though and seems to have an okay time in there but as far as me getting any loving from her, it ain’t a’happening, folks. Sharon says give her some time and of course, I have no alternative but still … how did I choose a personality-less peeg?
Today I am using the last of the gift cert H gave me for Christmas. I am getting a massage and a facial. Lord knows I need something. It’s been a stressful week for this girl between teeth, work and other things. It’s part of my “be nice to me” plan. If no one else is, I should be. (Oh, doesn’t that sound like everyone is being mean to me? They’re not. I’m just not getting what I (think I) want.) And I feel like I’ve gained weight (I fluctuate 5 pounds up and down usually) and that isn’t making me happy at all.
Welcome to “Really. I’m trying to pull my shit together” theatre. There are plenty of seats left and the show has only just started so you didn’t miss much. Popcorn? Yes, plenty of it salted just right for you!
Since I began with lyrics from a song by Tori Amos, I will end with a song from Don McLean (lyrics courtesy of wTwin):
I’ve got nothing on my mind
Nothing to remember, Nothing to forget
And I’ve got nothing to regret
But I’m all tied up on the inside
No one knows quite what I’ve got
And I know that on the outside
What I used to be, I’m not anymore
You know I’ve heard about people like me
But I never made the connection
They walk one road to set them free
And find they’ve gone the wrong direction
But there’s no need for turning back
‘Cause all roads lead to where I stand
And I believe I’ll walk them all
No matter what I may have planned