Satire but only a bit

Stolen from here (where else, I ask you?)

I, Lisa M. Snarkypants, willfully and voluntarily make known my desire that my dying not be artificially prolonged under the circumstances set forth below. It is my intention and hope that this declaration be honored by my family and physician as the final expression of my right to refuse medical intervention.

ACCORDINGLY, IF AT ANY TIME
I have a terminal condition–including a coma or persistent vegetative state,
AND
my attending physician determines that my condition is irreversible–that is, I will not recover no matter what medical interventions are provided,
AND
I am unable to give directions regarding my medical care,

THEN I direct that all medical interventions be withheld or withdrawn except for those interventions necessary to provide me with comfort care and to alleviate pain.

ADDITIONALLY,

I DO NOT want food, water, or other nourishment or fluids provided to me through tubes placed in my veins, nose, throat, or surgically placed in my stomach when the above conditions are met and I am unable to eat or drink by myself,

I DO NOT want to be held up as an example or martyr for any ideological cause,

AND PLEASE, DEAR GOD, SPARE ME THE INDIGNITY; I DO NOT want to be carted off in a coma to Washington D.C. to “testify” before a group of duplicitous legislators,

FINALLY, OH MERCIFUL LORD, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, allow Tom Delay, Bill Frist, any member of the Bush family, Randall Terry, Sean Hannity or any other right wing demagogue to:

Use my case to further their political agenda or career,

Drag my spouse”s name through the mud for simply following my wishes,

Speak my name or refer to me or my situation in any way,

Be in the same room with me.

I understand and accept the consequences of the directives I have indicated above.