… and in all things, be careful what you wish for. I always said that if I didn’t have to work, I would be so happy. I’d take classes, go to the gym, be domestic and fix lovely meals and all kinds of stuff. The reality of it … well, let’s just say that about once a week, I’d manage to cook something edible for my husband and I spent a lot of time surfing the net and accomplishing little. Having worked full time for about 23 years, I was very used to a certain routine. Even when I worked rotating schedules at former place of employ, it never bothered me. Work overnight? Sure. Work at 6am? No problem. It just didn’t faze me. (I have to admit a certain hatred of the 10-7 schedule, though. That just messed me right up.) I don’t think I realized how much I counted on a routine to order my days. Even if the routine was bizarre and often changing.
I understand now. And what I learned about myself was that without that routine, I become rather drifty and isolated. I’m not one to seek out company and am generally okay on my own. However, even *I* have to admit that it gets mighty lonely around here (NG and Emma notwithstanding). When we lived in NoVA, there were a bunch of places right around the corner. Hell, I had two Starbucks within a mile of me (I’m not kidding). No such luck here. I have to go 20 miles into Annapolis to get to a Starbucks (and there’s only one!). All the bookstores are there, too. There was literally no place for me to go around here that didn’t require a drive (and in the case of going to Annapolis, a toll as well). I had to really want to go there to go there, if you get my drift. Of course, that was good when time came for gingerbread lattes. If I had a Starbucks nearby and this level of boredom, my butt would be WAYYY bigger and my wallet WAYYY smaller.
Anyway, I am thankful to Duty for allowing me this opportunity. I was able to take care of moving my mom out of her condo and was free to come and go whenever I wanted. That part was really nice. My healing practice will evolve as I move through this stage and I plan to eventually do that full time. For now, though, I will go back to the land of the employed and see what that brings.
Wish me luck!
