1. Rap music and yes, I acknowledge I am not the target audience so it makes sense that I don’t but still … they all look totally ridiculous to me. I’m officially old, right?
2. Having caller ID with no attendant answering machine – I talked to someone the other day who said she doesn’t have the machine so at night she calls back all the numbers on her caller ID to see what they wanted. Now, I consider that an immense waste of time. Then again, my husband considers the three hours I surf and write each day a grand waste of time so I suppose it’s all relative. Still, get a damn machine!
3. Slash Fan Fiction – all those good writers spending their talent on love stories between batman and robin. (sigh) what a waste. I mean, they could be blogging about crap like this instead, right?
4. Why in heaven’s name anyone NOT on the bush payroll is still sporting a b/c 04 sticker on their car. May as well have one that says “I’m a complete and utter moron”. Soon enough, they are gonna control the internets if y’all don’t start paying attention. (Pulls out hair, notes that it’s gray and cries a bit more)
5. Umm, hiding money in your freezer that you got by some funky payola scam on people and then bragging about it to others? Real stupid on both counts, schmucko. You deserve to get your ass caught. I’m only sorry you’re a Democrat. You’d have much more success doing this kind of stuff if you were a repug. Even if they get caught, they seem to slide right on through it. In fact, you might even get you a Medal ‘O Honor!
6. Diva behavior Someday, you’re gonna look back at yourself and be real embarassed.
7. And speaking of idiots: Why *anyone* thinks anything about Paris Hilton is worthy of even the slightest bit of attention. She’s a skinny twit. Lots of them around. Can you even begin to imagine what she is like IRL? Insufferable! (See #6)
8. And this? Oh my god! What is wrong with you all?? And just because it’s good to know that Americans aren’t the only shallow, star-struck people in the world, an informal radio survey of Namibians found that half of them want the day Angelina and Brad have their baby to be declared a national holiday, “an honour usually reserved for kings, queens and national heroes.”
9. The fashion statement that is made by wearing your oversized jeans halfway down your butt enabling me to see what kind of oversize boxers you wear. Is this really a good look? Does your momma let you out of the house wearing that??
10. Kevin Federline – not even on my best day can I find ONE positive thing to say about this person. Either he’s got to be lay of the century (and even then, that thrill wears off after a while (doesn’t it?)) or else he’s got dirt on da Brithead that she doesn’t want out but something keeps him in the game. Popozao my ass, honey. Karma will just love getting her mitts on you!
11. Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly – just eww. How does *anyone* take them seriously? I have relatives who pay money to Rush for his “news”letter. Ay Yi Yi! It would be to laugh if they weren’t helping to fuck this country up further than it is.
12. Any show on MTV. I am old enough to remember when it showed videos and it was hip and cool (well, as cool as showing Huey Lewis and the News vids can be, yo) and now, I have no idea what’s going on there. I feel like I’ve tuned into substation mars or something. It hurts my ears.
13. People who don’t bother reading. Wow … I’m married to one and the daughter of another. Who gave me my love of books? My blind father (go figure). How. can. you. NOT. want. to. read??????
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