You only wish you had my dreams!

I dreamt about dating Tom Cruise. Oh yesss. What a fabulous dream! Except the part where he called me “emotionally stunted” and “only marginally attractive” as reasons why he could not date me. OH! And because I was pathetic for writing letters to Rona Barrett. (You youngin’s have no idea who RB is but she used to have a tabloid mag back in the 70s called “Rona Barrett’s Hollywood” that I read obsessively at the beauty parlor where my mom had her hair done. I was 8, it was either that or Archie comics). And why was I writing letters to a dead not yet dead tabloid mistress anyway? Such are the stuff of dreams, I suppose.

And now, a peek inside Lisa’s psyche: I was more traumatized by the “emotionally stunted” comment than the “marginally attractive” one! What does that say about me?? heh

So, he ditched me (after acting like he dug me) and drove off in his new Toyota. (HA! As if TC would drive a toyota!) I was bummed out, mostly because he left me with the check for lunch. Then he came back later with Nicole Kidman. They wanted to buy the land there because something growing on it was bothering NK’s allergies. Uh, what? We refused him, of course, and then started giving him a hard time. NK was laughing with us. I said to him “Don’t make me show Nicole the video of you and that other guy” and that shut him right up. (What video? I dunno exactly but as I can recall through the fuzzy lens of dreams, it involved him dressed up in paisley and lip synching some rap song with a black dude (also dressed in paisley). It was an embarassment of gigantic proportions.) Then I told NK that I’d LOVE for Kathy Griffin to get a hold of him and said I would pay good cash money to see that. She mouthed back to me “me too!” and we giggled, sisters for just a moment.

So, that was fun. I woke up laughing about the whole thing. Me? Emotionally stunted?? Please. I am so un-stunted it will knock yer socks off. :) I’m pretty sure I would be considered only marginally attractive in TC-land, since I think of myself that way in real life (my outer being, only. Inside, I shine like a diamond! hah).

Speaking of which, will someone PLEASE submit me to either “How do I look” or “Ten Years Younger“? I need a makover, bad. Even TC thinks so!!