So, yeah. Running late on the thirteen. Anyone notice? Didn’t think so. In my head, I have only a theme and one item but I’m hoping that by the time I get to number two, I will have lots more flowing out my fingers.
(Have to write a book review and am worried I’m using up all my creative juices rambling on here. C’est la vie, oui?)
Without further ado, I present “13 Things that horrify me”
1. This new trend in Hollywood whereby showing your cooter to the public becomes the “in” thing to do. Bad enough we’ve got Paris Ho-hilton and Lindsey Ho-han doing it but now Britney “I cannot debase myself any more than I already have” Spears is jumping on the coot-wagon. Is it me? Am I old? This is just disgusting behavior. Stop it.
2. (An oldie but a goodie) People who are still sporting “Bush/Cheney” stickers on their cars. If you can’t see the “truthiness” by now, you is blind, blind, blind.
3. Bestiality in general but necrophiliac bestiality but this? Color me horrific. Check out that story – the gist of it has to do with a dude caught having sex with a deer carcass. What pathology must one possess to think this is a reasonable thing to do? Extra large EWWWW to that one.
4. Vomit. By anyone. Most people seem to be able to take it in stride but I really can’t. It’s the sounds mostly. I don’t gag or anything but it strikes up some kind of really old fear in me that turns to horror and makes me want to wedge myself between the wall and refrigerator.
5. When people write the word “loose” when they mean “lose”. Laugh if you want, but I find THAT horrifying. (Not on the same scale as the dead deer incident but pretty durn close.) Don’t they teach spelling in skoooool anymore? (sigh)
6. Bombastic boss when he gets into some ranty moment and his eyes are all ablaze and he’s pacing back and forth. I generally go to my happy place at that time until he gets past whatever it is that’s causing him to behave like this. I cannot imagine what would cause his very sweet and kind wife to $tay with him but take one gue$$.
7. Toe fungus. Nasty ain’t it? Yeah. I’d rather see cooters than toe fungus. Yet, I’d look at toe fungus over dead deer sex antics so it’s all relative. (Still, eww)
8. Hunting. Unless this is your only way to get food and you’re starving to death, I am against it. How can anyone do that? I am truly appalled by all of it. (Do I still eat meat? Yes. Do I understand where it comes from? Yes. How do I rationalize that? I dunno. I’m still working on it.)
9. Snakes and roller coasters horrify me. Anyone care to do some psychoanalysis on me based on this alone?
10. Bill O’Reilly. Seriously. I think the man is completely delusional. How does one pay off a co-worker for phone sex harassment and then proclaim he is the king of all that is moral? That anyone would take him seriously in this day and age horrifies me indeed.
11. Sweetbread. And if you don’t know what it is, consider yourself blessed. Check out the link. I’ll wait for you. (taps foot) Nasty, eh? Who eats this? Yuckage.
12. The Exorcist (the movie). I remember seeing a picture of the possessed child in a Time magazine when I was in eighth grade and it so scared and horrified me, I had to sleep with the lights on for months. When I was older, I thought I was brave enough to watch it. I was wrong. Had to sleep with mom for a few weeks (and I was a teenager at that point). I don’t do well with devil stuff.
13. Eating contests. That’s because it most likely involves barfing and well, see #4 above. Plus, it’s gross. I can’t imagine even watching something like this much less participating.
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