4/11/07 On edit: MUCH better living today through chemistry! I felt 100% better - centered, focused and calm. I’m glad because that was not a Lisa I liked seeing. Thanks SO much for your hugs, archived posts (crse!), chocolate and love. I felt better just hearing you guys pep-talk me!

So, yeah. Not taking anti-depressant meds for 3 days (forgot to pick them up at the kmarts) + feeling low level flu-y and pooty + hella stress at work which involved this introvert training someone for 8 hours straight while feeling like I was standing in a hole as people threw dirt in on me = teeny tiny meltdown this evening. Duty asked me a pretty straightforward question (”Why didn’t you finish cleaning up in the kitchen?” to which I responded in a fashion that was majorly out of proportion to the situation almost busting up my beloved computer in the process. Then, when he said something else, I screeched (yes, screeched!) at him in a voice I didn’t even recognize. Oh my. It was so not love and light. No siree bubb. Anyway, after some crying, a small bit of banging on the wall and other fun events, I managed to breathe my way through whatever the issue was.

I rarely get that rageful … seriously, the last time was maybe 3 years ago and that was the first time in MANY years. So, I’m not sure what is going on or what was stirred up but something big was. Duty just sort of went away and let me be (which is what I do when he has meltdowns) but that usually doesn’t work well when I’m the angry one. I slunk upstairs to offer an apology and that didn’t go real well (my fault, mostly) so I, uh, slammed the wall a few times on my way back downstairs. Once I got down here, I noticed all the pets had fled (gee, wonder why?). I called de dogg in and boo-hoo’d on his fur (he let me) and felt better after a bit. But yuck, y’all.

Here’s hoping for a better day tomorrow. (I will also ’splain Stations ‘O the Cross for Nesta)