Thursday 13 #1,019 – Rantz, thoughts and a fine whine

1. People talking on their cell phone while shopping up and down the aisle at TJ Maxx. I do not want to hear you blathering away about JoJo or someone’s latest travails. If you must carry on a lengthy conversation, go stand in a corner out of the way. But you continue to stroll lazily up and down the aisle happily chatting away as if you are at home on your couch. Just stop it. It annoys me terribly. (This is why I prefer to remain a hermit mostly.)

2. Does anyone truly get that Britney doesn’t want custody of those poor children? She can barely take care of herself much less two kids. How hideous must one be for Kevin Federline to be the sane, stable one? She needs to just go away and get her shit together. More proof that lots of people who can have children shouldn’t and that some (me) who can’t have them should. HaRumf!

3. Once upon a time, when I was in college, I was in with a group led by an idiot named James. Most everyone in this little clique thought James was the shit. Especially my gal-pal Laurie. James led her on just enough to think that something (i.e. a love thang) would come out of it. It took me a relatively short while to see that he was a phony from the get-go and he knew I was on to him. Yet, no one else seemed to see this. He had everyone mesmerized. It was so plainly in front of my face, I couldn’t ignore it and the more I tried to raise a flag about it to others that he was using them, the more of an outcast I became in that group. It was as if *I* were the crazy one for telling the truth.

This is how so many of us on the political left feel these days. What does this administration have to do for everyone to see what the hell is going on? It’s a very strange feeling, I have to say. It’s like we are screaming until our lungs hurt and no one will listen. And it’s not as if I think the Dems are without flaws because clearly they are in on all of it to some degree. It’s politics, after all. Lordy. I know it’s going to get worse instead of better before we are through. I feel very helpless.

4. All of a sudden, I am bored with the internets. I cannot think of a time when this has happened to me. I am not loving that because it’s my best friend (remember the quote from Mrs. Tool Time?). I feel lonely and bored at the same time.

5. How come people just disappear out of your life at will? I could get all metaphysical on the topic, of course, but will stay in the here and now and say that it feels pooty. Unless I didn’t like you in the first place in which case I’m glad you left. But if I did like you (and you know who you are), it makes me sad that you can’t talk to me. I know it’s not about me (generally) but it still feels crappy.

6. My house continues to be a cluttery f’ing mess. How can I just overlook it? Yet, I do. I hate cleaning but I do like a clean house. Does anyone want to be my wife? I will give you room and board and even a small stipend to look after me. All the coffee, cats and wireless internets you need!

7. Some days it feels like Duty and I do not even speak the same language. He says one thing, I hear another and vice versa. Soon, I am annoyed and wonder why we even bother to speak to each other. Anyone else feel that way about their beloved spousal unit?

8. In the class I took in OK, they spent a good bit of time asking us to look at how we feel about death as it’s affected our life because you need to be comfortable with it to assist others through it. Yes. Well. I seem to have some residual issues about Lauren that burbled up. Which is normal, I suppose. Outside of missing Mom’s physical presence, I am at peace with her passing. And in general, I am with La’s but I still miss her so. And it made me realize that if I miss her this much, it has to be 10 bizillion times more for Cousin ‘O Love, who brought her into this world, loved her unconditionally and walked with her until her last breath on this earth. In fact, I cannot begin to imagine how that must be. She maintains a composure that I, even at the distance I had with all of it, can’t match. So, yeah. More to work out there. And I am sure my wonderful universe will give me the opportunity to do so.

9. I’ve started reading more esoteric stuff and it all seems so far above my head. I wonder if I’m even at a place where I should be reading this. But it’s been thrown at me about 3 different ways so I figure there’s something there I’m supposed to get. But I still have to finish my papers for the classes I have already completed so I get seminary credit for it. I think I’m picking up something new to distract myself from having to do the papers (which aren’t even research papers – just reaction papers. What is my problem?)

10. Have you noticed I am really hard on myself some days? I swing between too easy on myself (“oh, I’ll do that later”) and too hard on myself (“why are you so fat and haven’t done your papers, and are eating like a pig, etc, etc) – not sure what that’s about but it’s a constant companion. One I don’t like too much, these days.

11. I have made a resolution not to buy myself any “stuff” for all of November and December. I am overdosing on books and stickers and crap that I just want to scream ENOUGH! So, I am. Enough. (Doesn’t mean I don’t like presents, of course!)

12. In addition to a wife, I need a person to come to my house and tell me how to decorate it. (Uh, Lisa? That would be someone coming in and saying “pick up all the crap lying around” and that would be a good start. Wife? Where are you? Surely someone wants to share this heaven of a life! hehe) I can’t visualize for shit and my house looks like it. Martha Stewart – get here, STAT!!

and finally

13. Duty bought an awful lot of candy for Halloween. We have had TWO kids come by and one of them was Missy Emma. I made the last kid take lots and lots to get it out of this house. At least he didn’t buy Snickers – I have issues with Snickers. MMMMM I loves me some snickers. I think I will just randomly drop all this candy off somewhere and hope it goes on someone else’s thighs (as I munch on a tiny french vanilla Three Musketeers bar.)

Rant over! (For now) What are you ranty about today??