This has been both a long and short week – know what I mean? It’s flown by in total but the minutes and hours seemed to be dragging while I was in them. Â Might have had something to do with not having my laptop that made me feel so lost. Â I am rather a creature of habit. Â I get up pretty much at the same time and follow the same routine in the morning. Â The day is variable depending on work, appointments or (bleah) house chores. Â The evenings, though, same as the morning. My little routine carries me. I like it that way, mostly.
So, without my laptop in the evening, I’ve been forced to do other things. (Yeah, Universe, I get it.) Â I did start doing a nightly meditation/prayer thing called the “Rainbow Bridge” from the book “Bridge to Superconsciousness”. Â So, that’s something. Â I am still meandering through “Eclipse” though not as quickly as I did “New Moon”. Â I generally don’t watch much television because to quote a Dire Straits er, Bruce Springsteen song: “57 channels and nothing’s on”. (Thanks for the correction, Gal. And yes, I’d be all over your ass confusing Cookie with Yamin! Teh Horror! heh)
Neighbor Greg came through and managed to jimmy up my laptop cord and get it to work and also put rubber tubing around the outside of the cord so my mangling of it won’t affect how it plugs in. Â Yeah, I know. Â I’m rough with my toys. (If you are my toy, you know this to be true! heh) So, we’re back to the usual routine and that’s good. The forced vacation was a good one, though. Â Made me see that there are other things to do besides random surfing, tweeting and watching videos of sekrit boyfriend.
Just as an aside, I think I’m going to test out a day where I get to be angry and spew my crap all over everyone else. Others get to do it. Why can’t I? Why am I always, always, always the one that just has to endure it? And on the rare occasion that I do make my anger known, things get escalated. Â So, I shut down and just move into a whole different space when I get dumped on. Â As someone who not only feels what *I* am feeling, but often can feel what someone else is feeling, it’s like being dumped on twice as much. Â And takes twice as long to move past it. Â I don’t hold grudges because that just saps my energy. Â And yelling back makes me feel worse and mean and stompy. Â What to do, what to do?
(Reminds self that the heavy bag in the garage is good for times like this.)
I think I will take myself up on that offer. Â Either that or yell at idiot caller #430 which might not be a good idea since I like to have money for food and stuff.
Yes, it’s Friday. Thank Goodness.
Maybe just don’t get angry?
Okay, disingenuous, I know. Except I happen to mean it. Who cares what other people do or don’t do? No one else is sufficiently worthy to make you angry, which is a fantastically uncomfortable place to be. Turn the anger into sweet honey.
I marvel at your self control. When I get angry, I spew. I just do. Likewise, when I’m happy I bop and bounce. I wish I was one of those controlled people who keeps her emotions to herself, but I’m not. As my shrink and I have discussed on many occasions, I’m a Scarlett O’Hara who wishes I was a Melanie Hamilton. Even tempered, sweet and serene … ah, all that I wish I was! Since you’re so sensitive to the energy around you, I bet you wish everyone was more even tempered, sweet and serene, too, huh?
BTW, “57 Channels & Nothing On” is a Bruce Springsteen song. I know you meant no harm, but I must correct you. Just as you would correct me if I credited “Light On” to Elliott Yamin.
Fixt! Thanks for the reminder. :-)