Alone

… and reveling in it. Have I mentioned how much I love love love being by myself? I’m such a little hermit and it makes me happy. Yes, I passed up a trip to Hawaii in January to stay my ass at home in the silence. That’s how much it means to me.

Duty has one more week there – he’s talking about doing a cage dive to hang out with sharks. I’m fine with that as it’s something he really, really wants to do and I’m all for that. I know he’ll be safe because he’s a smart man in that respect (in a lot of respects!) and it just so happens he loves the adrenalin-packed adventures. Me? I prefer to get my APA in emo-ville. I won’t jump out of a plane but if you are in the pits of despair, I will be the one who will not run away. I’ll get in there with you and help you find the way out. I’m fearless in that way and as scary as jumping out of a plane is to me, getting in the depths of emotion with someone else is where I shine. Truly.

But doing something like that requires a lot of internal energy and that’s why weeks like this are so restorative to me. Just to be in my own energy fills me up in a way almost nothing else does. So, here I be, happy as a clam to be alone.

Today my friend Kim is coming over to assist with a de-cluttering effort. I’m both excited about it and nervous too for a couple different reasons. She’s a wonderful person but very intense and I wear out easily around her. She’s the wife of Duty’s best friend and we usually hang out in couples and for a short period of time (dinner) so this is new. If I never return, you’ll know the double whammy of Kim AND de-cluttering has plum wore me out! hehe I need help, though, because I’m drowning in stuff and get paralyzed when I go into overload. I’m hoping she can help push me through that (or just do it all and I’ll go hide in a closet) to get rid of some stuff. I did a bit yesterday and it felt good to release things that don’t make me *JOYFUL* – that’s my new standard: do I need it/use it and/or does it bring me JOY? Wish me luck!