So, finished my first week as a self-employed individual. Here’s all I experienced:
* fear – making my first “enrollment call” asking someone to join my Intuitive Development Mastery Program. Following a script of sorts was hard. Learning how to sell isn’t quite my forte. Still, I did it and she said YES!
* joy – she said YES! Dances around the room
*sadness– she sent an email saying she couldn’t afford it after all. I was bummed out but know that’s what happens and kept on moving.
* annoyance – venture out of house to work at Dunkin’ Donuts. Clearly it’s the gathering place for old farts who are discussing politics from a point of view with which I do not agree. (I live in the only red district in MD.) Rein in desire to scream at them and put earphones in. They disperse eventually but I realize this will not be a place for me to work once in a while. At least not in the morning.
* loneliness – had a weird dream about Duty admitting he was in love with Robert Ohotto (because I fell back asleep listening to an Ohotto meditation) and it made me sad. I wandered around the house all day feeling out of sorts and so very lonely.
* elation – did a webtv program Wednesday night and bathed in the light of the Woo. Despite being profoundly uncomfortable on camera for one whole hour, I just sunk into what I know best and ran with it. It was great and I got lots of good comments on it. The engineer running the program was shocked that I hadn’t done anything like this before because I was “a natural” at it. Host wants me to come back again.
* tempered joy – another enrollment call for program. She says YES!
* untempered joy – money comes into PayPal account for her enrollment. Dance around room and go buy bicycle I desperately wanted with gift money from work colleagues.
* confusion – Duty not happy at all about bike even though I just had the equivalent of a month’s salary from old job deposited in bank account. Tries to steal my joy. I refuse. I know this is hard for him. I get it. And I get that part of my work is to stand my ground. I just wish he’d participate in the joy. He is who he is.
* more joy of the untempered kind – another client signs on to my program!
In one week out from being laid off, I’ve made the equivalent of two month’s salary at old job.
I think I’ve done well. Have more enrollment calls coming this week. Also too: rode my bike yesterday morning just to test it out. Wheee! It’s like Goldilocks – it fits me “just right”.
So, not bad for a first week, eh?
I thought I commented here yesterday, but I did it en route to a meeting* and maybe I didn’t.
This is a jam packed post and much of it is so good that I feel bad fixating on two points.
1) Why wouldn’t you be blue to find out your husband and (male) spiritual advisor are cheating on you? What a sense of betrayal that represents! I hope you were able to shake it.
2) Why were you working at Dunkin’ Donuts? Just to get out of the house and take advantage of the wi-fi? Or am I missing something?
Please explain. Your new chapter is important and I want to understand!
*You remember meetings, don’t you, you former workaday Snarkela.
Thanks for your comments! :)
RE: Duty and Ohotto – I don’t have a CLUE what that’s about. In the dream, I wasn’t surprised to find Duty was gay and I wasn’t even upset that it was Ohotto. It was that Duty wouldn’t admit his love for Ohotto. And maybe it’s more about my wanting D to really be into and support my spiritual side. He supports me in the best way he can but it’s not how *I* envision support, you know?
RE: Dunkins: Yes, that was about getting out of the house and being around people. They do have wi-fi but they also have farty loud-ass good ole boys who piss me off with their ignorance so clearly not the calm, peaceful pseudo-workspace I imagined.
RE: Duty and the bike: there are about 80 things that go into it for him, I suspect. Here’s what I can glean: he sees me fulfilling my purpose (or on the path to doing it) and it stirs up in him the fact that not only is he not on his path, he doesn’t even know what that path might be. And yes, the bike=pork-and-beans later is the surface concern. Also too: he has issues around having stuff but not using it and I have a perfectly fine (but too teetery-big) bike I’m not using in the garage as well as the stationery bike we have that neither of us uses. So he didn’t like that I spent big cash money on another thing he thinks will sit in the garage.
Thanks for looking out for me and wondering what’s up with it all. (HUGS!)
Got it! Or, as they used to say on the Dick Tracy cartoons I watched after school, “6 2 and even, over out.” In case you’re not a junior crimefighter, that means that action (real-life) can resume now that I understand what’s going on. :)
Um, I’m fixating on the dream thing. Of course you’re upset because you think your husband is cheating on you with your male spiritual guide. I’m feeling out of sorts about it and it wasn’t even my dream!
Why are you working at Dunkin’ Donuts? This confuses me.
Maybe Duty is afraid that a bike today means pork and beans for dinner tomorrow. Does he tell you why it made him grumpy? I thought it was a cute bike.
And I am very glad to hear how you’re enjoying life and keeping it all in perspective. It’s just that dream has me fixating …
Absolutely phenomenal week for you. I am particularly thrilled about the bike, but I don’t know WHY.
Tell Duty not to rain on your parade or I’ll zap him.