I wonder because I feel another coming on now! (Fight it, Lisa! Fight it!)
I got called back to former place of employ to fill in for six weeks for someone who is having surgery starting July 11th. Best part is that it’s a different position than the one I left so no more having to be all things to all people! I just have to be one thing to two (very nice) people! I can come and go as I please and I get to sit next to my pal Michele. Also too: paychecks will appear every two weeks for a bit! Woot! Things are going fine with Practically Intuitive $-wise but it’s nice to have the supplemental income.
This means that Brogan de dogg will be hanging out at my friend Melissa’s Doggie Day Camp where he’ll have more pals to play with than just me and two very reluctant cats. He stayed with Melissa for the day when I went to Arizona and she loved him! (How could she not? He’s a sweetie pie!)
Now I know how new mothers feel when they go back to work – a weird combo of sadness and YIPPEEEE!! He’s much better than when he first came but I find I can’t get a lot done during the day.
Duty, having started a new job and contending with change, isn’t full of pep and vim when he comes home so for all of about an hour a day, I’m with dogg. Which is okay, I suppose, but he’s getting so attached to me that I worry he won’t know how to deal with it when he’s home alone some days. As it is, I don’t go out for more than two hours at a time and Neighbor Greg says he can always tell when I leave what with all the howling and whatnot!
Kind of a BOO
Some usual stuff and some new stuff:
1) Chubs: hello, my constant friend. Please ask the housemate to STOP BUYING BREAD! Dammit. I am not a fan of you!
2) Weird loneliness that my coach and I are working on – precedes this lifetime but showing up big lately. I’m finding a pattern of people just going away without any explanation or goodbye. One day, you’re friends and the next you’ve been “shunned” – this has happened so many times in my life and the common theme is that I can never figure out what I did wrong. (Or IF I did anything wrong!) College (happened several times – wonder if I was a pisshead and didn’t know it?), many times when I lived in Richmond – one moment you’re in the “IN CROWD” and the next – BOOM! Not. Weird. This all has to do with some funky forced isolation issue (I know, it all sounds so twee, doesn’t it?) that’s now coming up for processing and process it I must.
3) Looking at maybe finding a place to do weekly readings or something to get me out of the house and face-to-face with people so I don’t feel so alone during the day. We’ll see where that goes.
They say that entrepreneurship brings up every possible insecurity and every greatest joy and hell yeah, it does. While it’s nice to set my own schedule and do what I want, it’s also a big responsibility. Some days I think it would be easier just to go back to an office job. (Not really, but grass. greener. You know the drill.)