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Feeding birds is hazardous to my health

February 13, 2014 Written by Lisa

Last time this happened, I’m blaming it on a slippery front porch, crocs and not paying attention.

Picture this: I go rolling out the front door, bread in hand, to feed the birdies and next thing I knew, I was on my knees, having slid across the icy wooden porch.  Okay, then. That’s so attractive.

This time, though, I’m not sure what’s going on.

No ice, no crocs, still me being lost in thought of how awesome I am to feed the birds before the big snow storm.

I’m St. Francis of Assisi here, rocking the bread crumbs!

Then, as I stepped out the door, I hear my ankle go CRAAAACK! and find myself falling to the ground with an enormous thud. It was one of those ‘you know it’s happening but you are unable to stop it‘ sorts of events.

FallTHUD!

So now I’m sitting on the porch, in a wee bit of shock and not just a wee bit of pain and notice that the nice man from next door has come out and asked “Are you okay, Miss?”

Oh great.  Someone saw me fall.  That’s perfect.  And, he happens to call out just as I’m crawling to the railing to stand up.  Oh dear Jesus, will the fun never stop?

“I’m fine! I just twisted my ankle!” I said, cheerily (as if this happens every day)

(please mister, just go away and let me sob and crawl in peace, would ya?)

I manage to stand up somehow and get myself inside the door.  The dogs are all very concerned but having no opposable thumbs, cannot help.  Dammit.

Call Duty and cry on the phone like I’m 4 and he’s my dad.  “Can you come home?” I sob, into the phone.

Why? Why am I asking that?

I call him back and say ‘never mind. I’m okay” in a voice that suggests the opposite. It’s just a sprained ankle, for pity sake, Lisa. Grow up!

(Duty hates when I do that, have I mentioned that before? He’s all “ask for what you want and then stick with it” while I’m a Libra and change my mind constantly.  It drives him bonkers.)

I spent the rest of the afternoon with my swollen left foot propped up on the couch, looking pitiful.  I admit I did take advantage of it when Duty finally got home and I “allowed” him to fix dinner.

Today, it’s back to normal even though I’m still “Newt of Hobblefoot” and can’t get around well.  Poots. I got barely one evening’s worth of pity out of that.  What do I have to do to get some sympathy around here, huh?

Moral of the story?

Don’t feed bread to birds from the front porch.  Also, pay a-bloody-ttention to what you’re doing when you’re walking out the front door.  And, stay in your body. You can’t fly (yet) so stay put.

 

Blah blah blah, High Drama
The renovations continue apace
Loving my new office space

3 Comments

  1. JenniferW JenniferW
    February 25, 2014    

    I ripped the tendons from my ankle at the age of thirteen. The bones grind together when I walk and I have horrible bone spurs from it…. Ever time I waitress by the end of my shift I look like I was attacked with a hammer at the ankle. Bluntly put I know ankle pain, and the embarrasment it can cause. I deal with it all of the time. Now when it is bad I have to let hubby dig me out of trouble, and just do what I have to to get over the immediate pain so I can enjoy my time with the girls. Hard to do, but worth it. Duty just wants to love you too, so let him… And take the snuggles of fur babies!

    Jenn in California.

  2. Jody Jody
    February 19, 2014    

    And I broke my baby toe for the second time this year. I gotta stop breaking my baby toe. Seriously. It’s enough already. Hurt like hell, and wearing boots in this snowy winter has been insane. So there.

  3. The Gal Herself The Gal Herself
    February 17, 2014    

    I had a fall last winter that scared the living shit out of me. Winter is a slippery time of year. I always worry when I see pregnant women trying to navigate the ice.

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