Every single post I tried to write this week was full of whining and pissing and moaning. So, I wrote published nothing. As you can imagine, I am not at all happy about where I find myself. Not at all.
There is nothing for me to do but give thanks for this lesson. And some other stuff.
I give thanks to the Universe for everything below
❤ Duty’s job that keeps his mind engaged and gives him focus.
❤ Spending the day surrounded by people I truly like
❤ My students and clients who roll with me through this new space
❤ My coach Jaelin who knows I have it in me to get through this piece even if I don’t
❤ Zinfandel + Diet Sierra Mist (It sounds gross and Jersey-shore and I don’t care. I like it.)
❤ The love of my doggies
❤ All those who hold me in their loving space as I work through this.
I wish I could share all the 100000 things that are going through my head – for one thing, there’s a heaping helping of GUILT that I have a job with a steady income and all I want to do is toss it away. (Trust me, if I could give it back to the nice cage lady along with my salary, I’d do it so fast your head would spin watching me.)
There’s anger at myself for creating this scenario for reasons I don’t yet know.
And I’m tired of being tired and unhappy.
Whenever you see me write a gratitude post from here on, it’s a way of shifting my vibration.
If you’re still reading this blog through all the whining and complaining and bitching, I thank you. ❤
I know I’m probably completely missing the point and fixating on the wrong thing, but as one who just now discovered vodka and 7Up (and am sipping it right now) I want to thank you for the Zinfandel/Sierra Mist reference. You made me feel better about my drink choice. :)
I so understand, and I truly applaud your attempt to find those parts of your life for which you feel gratitude. I think this is not only laudable, but important.
I hereby predict: something is about to happen for you. Something GOOD, to help you move out of this negative place.
Yes, it’s coming.
Just keep this attitude in place. When you want to cry, smile.
I must be a pretty decent whiner and complainer myself because I always think,”Where’s the whining??” when you post thinking you’re doing that and it might annoy someone!
I’ve been thinking lately,”Where’s the Life in this life?” It’s busy, it’s full, there is more than enough “stuff that needs to be done” but I can’t help feeling like it’s not my path. Yes, everything I am doing is my path, but there is something off, something more, something that I feel will be revealed soon in a total shift, and it is definitely a practical crossroads.
When I go to the insurance job every day I bless it for the money and the structure but I have a definite “I could not give one less shit” when they are trying to enforce rules that management doesn’t comply with themselves.
I feel like I will be moving the family to be with my husband on that tiny island, and soon. Even though I don’t exactly want that, I can feel it coming as a definite choice.
And so I still feel like we’re in the same sort of boat, and picking up the oars to paddle I know not where.