My co-dependent relationship is with guilt. And it’s time to let that shit go.
Currently, the guilt centers around leaving YEPOE, as you know because I whine about it all the time.
Why am I even staying? I’m not happy, it’s not a good fit for me, and I have a feeling I’ve pissed off the higher-ups by wondering aloud about why things aren’t done in an expeditious way.
Just today, in fact, I was told (in very nice words) to fuck off because I pushed the point of something that seems ridiculous to me. (It has to do with procedures when I’m not there and backup logins and crap.) This is actually the second time I’ve been told that (again, in polite words but the energy is very clearly “Lisa, just shut the fuck up about this”) and it’s such a loud reminder that I do not belong there.
My feeling guilty about having a job when someone else doesn’t, about telling them I’d stay for a year and wanting to leave two months in, about toughing it out to please Duty – serves NO ONE. Least of all me. It’s time I decide what I want to do and pursue it with a vengeance.
Hear me now, Universe, one way or another, I will be done with it by my birthday in October.
Big plans for PI biz that I’m ironing out this week in Utah so that I can launch it in October.
I will not feel guilty for doing this. And YOPOE will go on without me.