Letters I’ll never send – Part two

In part two of a semi-recurring series on Letters I’ll never send, I submit the following entries:

Dear Men who come into the lobby for an appointment,
Be like the women who come in. State your name, who you are here to see and then sit your ass down. Don’t be trying to walk into conference rooms where others are already meeting. Don’t pace around the lobby area, talk loudly on your phone, or demand I make copies of shit for you. Come in, announce yourself and sit the fuck down. Jesus. I just cannot with you morons. Love, she who really, really isn’t cut out to be a receptionist.

Dear person who seems to thinks they can pick my brain for biz advice despite not giving one shit about me, my life or my business,
Just go away, already. How much of a narcissist can you possibly be? I’m not your mom or your cheerleader. I’d say something to you about it but I just don’t care enough to do that. I’d like you to just go away. Signed, she who wants to hit you with a fly swatter.

Dear Neighbor Greg, please please please hack up a lung on the other side of your porch. It is just plain gross listening to that first thing in the morning as I’m drinking my coffee. As a highly clairaudient person, even the slightest retching sound seeps into my pores and makes me feel like barfing and that’s not how I like to start my day. You’re getting too old to drink and smoke like you’re 19, dude, and your body is trying to tell you that. Signed, she who acknowledges her own aches and pains are telling her something to which she is not listening either.

Sweetness and Light, that’s me.

Happy news! Cousin O’Cool found herself unexpectedly (and happily) pregnant so Luke and godson Peter are going to be big brothers! Fingers crossed for a girl this time. :) More behbeys for me to hold and love! Wheee! And Cousin O’Love is going to be a grandmother! (These two events are happening at around the same time – babies everywhere! Woot!) I can’t wait to hold them all. (the babies, not the cousins)