Lookit how positive that title is! Aren’t you proud of me? heh
I realized how foggy and sloggy I was getting in the morning with nowhere to go or be at any given time so I got the nudge to start walking the dogs in the hours before it gets really warm. So every day, we’ve taken a 15 minute walk down the bike trail, trying for a bit farther each time. Found a leash that works well with them both on it and they love it. There’s no stopping for sniffs and peeing every five seconds. I reward them with sniffs on the walk back to the house but mostly, they’re content just walking.
That small thing has helped enormously in helping me get on a routine. You’d think after three years of on-again, off-again work, I’d catch a clue that routine is like water for me. But I’m such a Goldilocks that it can’t be *too much* or I start to feel imprisoned. The work is in finding the just right spot, and I’m getting there.
The flurry of family activities seems to have abated. We had two christenings, one First Communion, one funeral and one 4th birthday party. I love my family – they’re comfortable to be around.
Speaking of family, here’s me with Cousin O’Cool’s oldest, Luke, on his First Communion day. As you can see, he’s super excited to be hugged by his auntie. (heh)
When I saw this picture, I recognized my mom’s face instead of my own and for the first time, instead of cringing, I smiled.
For those who know me, that’s big because I’ve always run away from any whiff of ‘being like my mom’ and yet, there’s no escaping it. She had her faults, as do we all, but she loved me hugely and fiercely and what more can anyone ask for? I wish I had been able to offer her the ‘best friend’ relationship she truly wanted but I was too busy trying to escape her clutches.
As I’ve grown older and hopefully wiser, I appreciate all she did and who she was much more and am proud to say that I am my mother’s daughter.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of youse!
The mother/daughter thing is so complicated, isn’t it? I find it comforting that you’re still wrestling with it and have made such happy progress. I go through periods of missing my mother so and then I get very angry at her over all that went unresolved. And here’s the thing about the dead: it’s hard to win arguments with them. Unless, of course, you are a high priestess of woo. :)