There, I’ve said it. Universe, I am open to new, deeper friendships.
Remember that meltdown I had back a few months ago about how I must give off those “I don’t need anything” vibes? And how I realized I had to be the one to open up to receive what people might be offering?
After a shit-ton of work with my wonderful coach, I’m beginning to understand some of what all that was about. Digging in the dirt (energetically) and finding the genesis of the betrayal on a soul level that has been a big part of this lifetime and all the others has been interesting and enlightening.
Over the course of my adult years, I’ve had many kinds of friendships: work ones that fade when you leave, close ones that just poof in the night when you go separate ways, a couple that have stood the test of time and ones that grow and deepen.
Of the close friendships I’ve had recently, two have turned to shit fast mostly because I ignored the warning signs. I didn’t want to see what was right under my nose because to acknowledge it would hurt. A lot. I might release the friendship but I would never go vindictive on someone. So when it happens to me, it feels twice as bad.
But having excavated some of what is going on (in this life and others), I think I get it now. (Or, at least part of it, anyway!) It’s time to bring in some new energy, new friends who also don’t care for the vengeance model of life and prefer one that is not built around past hurts.
I so value those of you who read this here blog and comment. You’ve been with me on this journey and have mirrored back to me what I needed to see. Thank you.
And let it be known far and wide that I am ready now to create some space for friends who see me and allow me to see them.