That’s me.
So here are some random pissy thoughts to brighten your day (since it’s not you having them):
1) My mom used to get bad headaches (now I wonder if they were migraines) and when I was a kid, mom sleeping in the middle of the day meant she wasn’t feeling well. When Duty falls asleep in front of the television (often), I get a strange combo of mad and sad. Right before his heart attacked him in 2010, I noticed he was exhausted ALL THE TIME. He also sleeps a lot when he’s unhappy although he’ll just tell you he’s tired. I get mad because I want to yell “Lazyass” when I take naps too so am I really yelling at myself and he’s my sleeping proxy? Am I worried that his heart issues are back? I don’t know. But when I hear him snoring over the sound of the television, it pisses me off.
2. I cannot stand this house one more second. Like, I’ve taken it and taken it and taken it and now, I want to scream. (I am just so damn fun, aren’t I?) I know I am putting a lot of pressure on Duty (maybe why he’s sleeping) but it feels like one more moment here and I will just flip out. My guides have told me to cool my jets, that all stuff for moving is in process and to start packing and clearing. Fine. I will. But that doesn’t make me feel any better in the moment.
3) I am lonely. (Still and again) There is nothing to do in this town at all. Just nothing. I have to travel over the damn bridge for everything and forget about doing that from Friday at 10am – Sunday evening. Damn tourists jacking up our roads (it’s gotten really bad in the past few years) so we can’t even use the side access roads without traffic snarls. I want friends and people to do stuff with. My only local friend is married to the biggest jackass around so we can’t even hang out at her house (which is lovely and right on the water) unless he’s not there.
Grrrrr.
Also too: it’s raining and Monday. Better, sunny days are on the way.
Shout out to Julie – hang in there. I’m here if you want to talk.
I get very frustrated by tourists, too. But then I remember how annoying I must be when I’m on vacation and I forgive them. (You know, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”)
I’m so excited about your move but I worry. I went through a cross-country move with my oldest friend and she was so counting on making new friends in Los Angeles. Four years later and she hasn’t made a one. So I’m feeling a little deja concerned about you. Don’t imbue your upcoming move with the power to change your life in ways it can’t. You’re changing the scenery, that’s all. I’d hate to see you as disappointed with your move as she’s been with hers. It’s heartbreaking. (Of course, my friends who relocated to Key West found a place where they could put down real roots, and I’ve always felt so at home here in Chicagoland that I’ve never seriously thought about moving — except for l’amour — so naturally you could be also be headed to the perfect place that makes you feel like you belong. It happens, too.)
Gal, thank you for your sweet concern. I moved to Richmond VA from Baltimore without knowing a single person. I went home every weekend (a 3 hour drive) because I was so lonely. But after a while, I knew that I had to create a life there or else be miserable 24/7. So I did. I really don’t want to recreate that experience and I’m older now and know what I want much more than I did then.
I think I am seeking an energy shift, a freshness, a new adventure. Definitely a different house. Wherever the Universe points me, I will look! :)
I UNDERSTAND!! My home is key to me, and it sounds like yours really is in a terrible place for fostering friends, which is something you’ve made clear is now important to you.
I’m with the guides: try to be patient (a little!) and channel this energy into preparing for the move. Believe me, as one who moved SEVEN TIMES since my divorce ten years ago, it’s always a major pain in the butt. The more you throw out, give away, sort through, the better off you’ll be. And, of course, ruthless is the right attitude. GET RID OF STUFF! (I see you’ve started with the books ….. !)
The energy you put into preparing will obviously insure that it happens, but, in addition, I disagree SLIGHTLY with your guides. I think looking & dreaming about other communities and homes will also pave the way. In addition, imagining what your life could be like elsewhere is helpful to you because it starts to define what you really want and need.
Well, I sure had a lot of opinions about this, didn’t I???
Thanks Jody! Your opinions are ALWAYS welcome here! It’s been fun looking at houses on Zillow, actually, because it has helped me get a sense of what I just sorta like and what I REALLY really like. That time daydreaming has not been wasted. Yep, I”m moving things out and around here – first it was shoes, now books and more to come!
HUGS to you for your support always.