One of the things they teach in Access Consciousness is stepping out of judgement. For yourself, for others. You can imagine how easy that is, right?
There are times (I know this will shock you) when I get all up in other people’s business. And by that I mean, I sit my butt on the couch and judge them for their choices and decisions. So loving.
When I catch myself doing this, I move into saying “Interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” – (an Access Consciousness tool) – and I say it over and over until the desire to wrap myself all up in their stuff dissipates.
Because I know that my judgement is not about them. It’s about me. It’s about whatever gets stirred up inside me that I’m tossing off on them.
One person in the group (who I have seen on the interwebs but don’t know personally) responded that yes, he’d like that and wanted an email sent to him with all the responses.
I went right to judgement on that. “Who asks for that? Like she’s offering to spend an hour of her time helping people and that’s not enough for you? You can’t be bothered to show up but want her to spend more of her time creating an email for you?”
Yes, I lost my shit. (I really did.)
So I posted what, at the time, I thought was a nice response but geez, my judgement was dripping off every word: “I think there’s a way you can get group notifications of conversations but maybe it would be worth your time to show up in the group for it.”
Nice, eh? (Seriously, that was as nice I was gonna get.)
He responded thusly: “I said I wanted an email.”
I had to get up and go outside so I didn’t call him a little bitch or worse. Holy shit, I was so triggered. And while he may not have been as nice as he could have been (nor was I, notably), my reaction was all out of proportion to the situation. I have no idea why other than asking (in an adamant way) for exactly what he wanted poked the part in me where I am unwilling to do that. I have been unwilling (in many places) to ask that clearly for what I wanted.
So, that was not at all about him and all about me not being willing to state what I wanted, whether I’d get it or not. Yowza. Had to do about 100 IPOV, IHTPOVs to dissipate the energy on it. The question becomes “Am I willing to be that clear and adamant?” and when I am, only THEN do I have choice. I don’t know that I’m willing yet. But I am perhaps closer than I was. (perhaps, she said, inching her way along the side of the wall toward it)
This “living a conscious life” shit is hard, yo!