Did you know I have them? I do! These are compiled mostly in my head and I consider them to be the most important things to do in a Universe that I run.
Here are a few:
GIB: If you’re reading something online and you don’t know what it is, move your ass over to a new tab and google it. Just today, someone mentioned OITNB under television shows they liked and OF COURSE someone asked “what is that?”. It takes less time to google OITNB than it does to type it out. Why can’t they do that? In my Universe, you google it, bitch, or you are taken out and flogged with fleece in a public place. (Fleece Flogging isn’t a thing. I just made it up.)
COMPREHENSION FTW! Okay, fine. Some people cannot read and respond to more than two things at a time in an email. Fine. I’ll allow it in Lisa-Verse. However, if I send you something (ONE THING!) and the info you need is on there, please don’t email me asking for what I just fucking sent you! Jeebus.
(This is the entire plotline of my life now with dude, for whom I am doing some admin work. Comprehension is not a skill he possesses. Got it. Email him one or two things at most. Watch him ignore things only to circle back later and ask me where we are on it. DUDE! I sent you that not a day ago!)
I do not abide drama (except in my head and/or of my own creation): I mentioned a time or 30 that I have been living on Reddit in the Making a Murderer sub. And you know, there’s very little drama there. Arguing, yes. Calling people fuckwits, yes. But not much drama.
The MaM Facebook groups, though? Oh lord. OH LORD. The women running it are of the ‘no fucks to give, get outta my face’ types who seem to get high off of attention. There’s enormous drama about ‘moles’ who are in the Avery is guilty camp running around doxxing* people all over the place.
I offered to help moderate one group and immediately regretted it. Way too much damn drama. Fortunately, the Universe heard my plea and the admin of the group (she of the ‘gives no fucks’ genre) took me off the mod list quietly and thank you, baby Jesus for that! I had no idea how to slide out of there unnoticed.
We shall have NO drama in Lisa-verse, it is so declared.
Anyway, those are 3 of my many, many rules that make sense to no one but me.
*’Doxxing’ has been around on the internet for a long time, and refers to the search for, and subusequent publication of private (read: non-public) personal information of people. Specifically, the names, numbers, residences, etc. of users on anonymous sites who aren’t figures of entertainment, sports, politics, or other public media, as well as their friends, family, and associates.
You. Are. My. Hero!