Ever feel like the 3 million things you do to make someone’s life easier, better, happier just go unnoticed or taken for granted? I do.
(Side note: as “seer of all sides”, I recognize that I’m not the only one that feels this way, my mom likely felt it, all moms / good friends / teachers / lovely people feel it. I just have to get this out.)
I love Duty with all my heart and know he loves me in his own way. But some days, all the stuff I do that I think makes his life easier just gets taken for granted.
For example, I make sure his phone is charged up, his keys, work badge, wallet, etc. are all in one place for him in the morning. He bought the wrong kind of coffee at the store yesterday and was going to take it back. I put it in a bag with the receipt taped to it so he could take it. I make sure his glasses are always by his computer when he leaves them laying all over the house.
And so what? Right? These are the things that go unnoticed or at least if he does notice them, unremarked upon. I say thank you often for things he does around the house. He tells me to stop saying it, that I’ve already said it. (He hates when something is said more than once.)
There are pros and cons to being married to someone who walks through life in some sort of oblivious fog. Today, it feels very con-like. And I feel very unappreciated.
Come to realize one of the few places I ever felt appreciated was Ye Olde Place of Employ. Apparently, my vat of stored appreciation has run dry.
Seeing the whole story makes more sense than the FB post, which confused me. I mean, you never seemed anywhere even in the neighborhood of happy at YOPE! How could you suddenly miss it and its denizens so much?
As a barren spinster, I know nothing about marriage. But I do observe you and your ilk keenly, like Marlin Perkins watched the zebras on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. And I have two insights to share — and for you to feel free to ignore since I am, after all, a barren spinster.
1) I bet Duty feels that he’s the champ in your marriage, the one who gives 101%. I mean, it can’t be easy for an adult man to understand the rabid passions of a fan girl, and I imagine at times your enthusiasms have overwhelmed (or at the very least confused) him.
2) Often people we love give us what they can give, which isn’t always what we need. And while that often hurts, it’s the way it is.
I appreciate your post. In all seriousness, I can relate to this. Not that I have a dear husband, but I can relate.