Posts in category Light Bulb

OMFG

April 28, 2011 Written by Lisa

For reals: OMFG, y’all

So, let’s recap, shall we:

1. I have sincere conversation with Duty about a timeline for my leaving pain in the ass day job. He says “$6000 in the bank and a possible part time job and then I might feel okay about it.”

1a. I haz a sad about it because I cannot stand day job any more.

2. Vow that no one shall stand in the way of what I want. Choose $3000/empowerment for manifesting amount and words, mindful that this is double what I had last month but what the hell, right? I can stand a bit of chaos.

2a. Universe laughs. And the thunder chaos rolls.

3. Forced to take on 3x the amount of responsibility at work. Whole office is in uproar as the departure of one person has created a tear in the time-space continuum and all goes to hell on board the USS Enterprise.

4. At night, brain too fried to create classes as planned. Whole month’s income goes down the toilet as I barely make $1000.

5. Begin to make peace with the fact that $3000 and an “I will show all of you not to get in my way” attitude does not an abundant month make.

6. Work diligently at creating a more peaceful space and let go of the urgency to leave that damn job NOW.

7. Take a class on energy and family dynamics wherein I am told that a big part of my work now is to forgive myself for all that I have done or not done and to move on from that place. Truly forgive from a heartful place of compassion.

8. Take 2nd glass of wine, sit out under the stars and cry into a place of self-forgiveness for all manner of stupid shit in life.

9. Begin again to feel at peace with the flow of things.

10. Damn near crap pants as $6000 falls into my lap out of nowhere. (I am so not kidding. It really did.)

11. Listen to Duty (still in Korea) nearly crap his pants as I point out to him that he said if I had $6000 in the bank, I could quit day job. Know that he’s going to rain on my parade with this somehow but hope he gets that this is a gift from the Universe delivered through a specific channel. He both rains and gets.

12. Remind him that he told me last summer “I’m not sure I totally understand all this stuff you do but I have to say that weird things do happen around you that I can’t explain.”

13. Mention that I am not planning on leaving job tomorrow (or even in a month) but September is what I’m shooting for (per my astrologer). Hear him heave a sigh of relief.

14. Laugh to myself about how the Universe and my Angels always, always amaze me.

15. Send love to Jody for typos and encouragement.

16. Dance around house.

17. Empowerment came through after all, yo!

and the word for the coming month? Guess what? Receptivity as in “I am open to receiving from the Universe” – no better way to start the month, eh?

So yeah. OMFG. For reals.

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Happy Stuff, Manifesting in 3D, Pretty Sure Ive gone insane, Random Acts of Kindness, teh WooWoo

Turning Tables

April 24, 2011 Written by Lisa

Turning Tables

(Gal will get the title, I know)

When you’ve been blogging as long as I have (9 years, actually), it’s both interesting and somewhat disheartening to go back and read old entries. Interesting because I can see where I’ve been in my life, woo-journey, Cookie love, politics, losing my mom and goddaughter, etc … and disheartening because I used to be funny and witty and snarky. I feel like now I mostly complain about the things that aren’t the way I want them to be. The snark, she is gone. It’s morphed into whining or whatever.

Okay, it’s true. I rather like to complain (family trait) and inside my head I really am a whiny child some days. (Someone tell me that’s common, please.)

But as a writer/blogger, that’s not really what I want to put out into the world, you know? There’s so much negativity and fear around us now. People are scared that things are changing and change makes us very uncomfortable – especially if we are not the ones initiating that change. There’s so much talk about the Mayan end of the calendar in 2012 and that only adds to the fear.

What’s happening is a shift in consciousness, not the end of days. And it’s already upon us so no need to count down the days. It’s an understanding that we all are one. One part of the Divine. What happens to you, happens to me. Race, creed, sexual orientation – we are all one people. That’s the shift.

(This is more like a post for Practically Intuitive but it’s coming out here as I put fingers to keyboard. So be it.)

Snarkypants has always been my own little piece of the web and I don’t want to just whine and complain here. I don’t want it to be a small part of the larger yuck out there.

I want it to be a place where you can see me as authentically as I can present myself. Sometimes dorky, sometimes awesomely High Priestess-like, always a fangirl, political geek and woo-woo chick. Doing my best to learn the lessons I set out to learn before I got here.

So, forgive me my growing pains of late. (Both here and in my real life.) I’ll keep the complaining to a minimum and make this a more hospitable place to hang out.

Quote Pictures, Images and Photos

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SUCCESS!

February 21, 2011 Written by Lisa

Wooot! Kim did a fabulous job and it went really well. Better than I thought it would, actually.

I didn’t feel overwhelmed because she just told me where to start and what to do. While I’m not the most compliant of chicks, I did so in this case because I *know* that if I have to both think and do when it comes to this, it’s easy for me to go into overwhelm. She surveyed the room we were to start in and got a plan together. In fact, she’s going to come over every two weeks and we’ll work on it bit by bit.

The cool thing I realized is that she can see potential in a house like I can see potential in a person. We all have to work to our strengths and looking at an empty (or horrifically cluttered) room and seeing what could be is so not mine. But it is hers and I am thankful for that, truly. We went to Kmart to get some plastic bins for things and looked at curtains for my office (yep, I am working to get that together!). She said let’s look at twin sheets because you can use them as curtains with a bit of alterations. I told her I was essentially a 12 year old girl at heart and so we looked at sheets in the children’s aisle. I found something with flowers on it that I loved so we got that. Wheee! That’s a project for another day. I was pooped by the end of the day and I didn’t do even a third of what she did but it brings her the same kind of joy my woo stuff brings me. I find that interesting. (I find a lot of things interesting. For example, the fact that I am content eating peanut butter on one slice of wheat bread for dinner every single night last week. Shhh! Don’t tell Duty.)

It felt really good to let go of a lot of stuff. Duty and I will be making runs to the dump and the hospice place where I donate unwanted items next week. That will make him really, really happy. Happy Duty = peaceful and nice household and I’m pretty much all for that.

She left me a few things to accomplish before she returns in two weeks so I’m going to work on it bit by bit each day. And I know that by creating a space for my intuitive work, it will flow that much more easily to me.

Brags, Happy Stuff, Manifesting in 3D, Pretty Sure Ive gone insane, Secretly 12 years old, teh WooWoo

Surrender

January 31, 2011 Written by Lisa

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I surrender. Really. I do. As they say in AA, I am turning it all over to (Mother/Father) God. Oh, it’s nothing major or anything to fret about – just that there are certain situations (my weight being one of them) that I just can’t seem to get over, under, around. I’m tired of fighting it and trying to logic it out. I’m just turning it over and trusting that the right steps for my highest good will be shown and I’ll take action.

Saturday night I listened a binaural beat mp3 (you can read a lot more about it here) and I slept like a baby! Woke up feeling so good, it was amazing. Did it last night too and had some interesting experiences in my astral travels. (heh) But the mantra I keep using is “I surrender and I trust.” Scary but gotta do it. Gotta get through some residual yuck quick!

Something really cool this week: Andrea Hess (you know, my manifesting teacher) is offering a class called Inspired Income Mastery and as part of a bigger package, she offered six spots for personal mentoring and I made it in under the wire!! WOO-HOOOO!! It starts on Thursday and in addition to the class (all online – video and calls), I’ll have a 45 minute phone session every two weeks for twelve weeks. I could dance on the moon about that because she has been, unequivocally, the biggest influence on my life in the last year and I jumped at the opportunity to work with her directly because I know I’m ready for a big shift. My plan is to take Practically Intuitive full-time in early 2012 and this is all part of that. Wheeee! (Can you tell I’m happy?)

Anyway, that’s the haps. If you’ve never tried listening to binaural beats before, I really REALLY encourage you to do so. It’s pretty awesome.

General Blatherings, Happy Stuff, Wandering around the 'nets

Everything is a lesson

October 17, 2010 Written by Lisa

Everything.

Talked with my coach yesterday and spent a fair amount of time on my overwhelm and subsequent crying breakdown last weekend while taking care of Peter. Mostly, I was tired from physical exertion and having to be present 24/7. Lugging a solid six-month-old baby up and down two flights of stairs many times a day was a bit more than this old farty chick is used doing. (And when I say “a bit” I mean “a LOT”, mmmkay?)

But beyond the physical exhaustion, there was something else. My meltdowns came when giving him a bath – he screamed (and I mean SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER) the whole time and I felt like the most incompetent person ever. Logically, I know that the water temp was fine and I wasn’t hurting him but it really took me to a place of “I am beyond inadequate” that wasn’t just about this situation. As soon as I got him dressed for bed and he fell asleep in my arms, I totally melted down. Cried and cried and cried like I haven’t in a long time. And even as I sat there crying, I knew that the tears were about so much more than exhaustion and even inadequacy.

With my coach’s help, I came to understand this: I spent all my time up in my head. I live in the mental realm where anything can be solved by thinking about it and researching it. The three days with the boys forced me – hard – out of that mental realm. I had to be present in a physical way 24/7. If this were easy for me, I’d have done it a long time ago. The meltdowns represented my reaction to being booted from my comfort zone in a way I had not anticipated. I couldn’t “fix” Peter’s crying in the tub by thinking it out. I couldn’t “fix” the fact that every time I put him in his crib he inexplicably woke up and I had to start all over again by thinking about it. I just had to walk through it one step at a time. By Sunday, I had come to some understanding about the flow of things and I guess that’s how parents do it. (And God bless them. I’d be an entirely different person if I had a child.)

Jaelin (my coach) helped me understand what a gift that weekend was – I got a visceral understanding of just how hard it is for me to be present in my body and out of the mental/spiritual realm I inhabit all the time (i.e., my comfort zone). So hard that it brought me, quite literally, to my knees. And yet, being able to do that is a key to a lot of things for me. Those tears I cried while holding Peter were cleansing, healing a deep place inside me that desperately needed healing. The immense joy I felt looking in his eyes or getting a hug from Luke filled me back up in a way that mental gymnastics can’t even touch. Each has their place and part of my work is to learn that balance.

There’s much more healing to do. But I am thankful for the lessons, the tears, Peter (my little teacher) and Jaelin. As I begin to turn the corner on my 40s and head into the next decade, it becomes even more clear to me that we are given many (if not all, but that’s arguable) experiences to grow and progress on a deep soul level. We are always free to take them and learn or not. But they’re there – just the same.

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