After some back and forth with gay boyfriend Charlie, I decided that I’d blow past my depression ditch and go to see the Hal tonight. Don’t know what my issue is but I do have one. My depression always manifests as apathy and when I decide to blow off not one but two sekrit boyfriend events, I know I’m in the throes of it.

I really, really want a picture with him because I have (a crappy) one with Cookie so I need a (non-crappy) one with the Hal to round out my collection of stalkings and whatnot.

Heading out to the docs this morning (my own doctor this time who is not as Gorgeous McCuterson as Duty’s is) for some med checks. (I was going to write about it but got bored thinking of it and hell, it’s my own stuff so I’m not gonna bore you all with it.)

Look for a picture (I hope) of me and SB2 to follow. That should (should!) cheer my ass up!

Mostly because his Godmother sucked hardcore at diaper changing and putting bitty arms through tight t-shirts. Bless his heart for being so patient with me. Although he did barf milk on me later as payback, I’m sure. He barfed on Cousin O’Love too and as far as I know, she knows how to change a diaper (for a boy) and get heads through shirts. In fact, I once saw her set the land speed record for diaper changing in a department store elevator so I’m pretty sure he didn’t barf on her for that.

I got to hold him lots and lots but also tried to remember to share the babyholding. When he cried was a good signal for me to trade off with someone. (Someone = the mama)

But we had such fun at Luke’s party. Lots of kids (kept my distance), cake (no distance, thank you) and presents. Kid presents are awesome! He wanted to play with them all right when he opened them. Lots of strategic hiding took place, don’t ya know? Anyway, here he is wearing the chef hat (but not the jacket) that Duty and I gave him. Cousin O’Cool says he wore it while out in the moon bounce too. YEY for picking out fun presents.

Newsletter goes out tomorrow. Wish me luck! At least I finally got it out before the end of July! heh

moar funny pictures

Remember my other “Oh hell, I’m in a fog” post? I’m there again, a mere fifteen days later. Not even floaties last night could help. Outside of one thing going on that I can’t control, stuff is fine so I don’t know what the damn fog is all about. Work has been very busy and somewhat stressful but we’re on the down side of the week so that’s probably not it. I just feel … foggy. And grumpy. Nothing is making me happy at all. (Except whining which I do so love, as you know.) My two-year old was buying things again (a book and a new mouse) which is usually an indication that she’s not happy. Might be time to have a chat with her. Usually, floaties make her happy but that didn’t do it at all last night. (sigh)

Announcement: Cousin O’Cool and husband have asked me and Duty to be new baby’s godparents! WHEEE!! Duty has accepted this with a vengeance and has taken to calling himself “The Godfather” and told me in no uncertain terms yesterday that I cannot append the (boy) baby’s name with Bella.

(Backstory, Cousin O’Cool was hardcore into the Twilight series and got me reading it. When she announced she was pregnant, I was sure (SURE!) it was a girl and that she must be called Bella. But, uh, not a girl or else it’s a girl with a dangly bit. At any rate, I planned to call him (whatever name they choose)Bella. (Like: Peterbella or JoeBella … you get the idea.) Cousin loves and indulges my whimsy but not THE GODFATHER. (Since he doesn’t read this here blog, I’ll mention off the cuff that he has what we will call “gender issues” – going completely nuts if they put a bow on Max or something. See? Issues.))

So, I plan to call my baby (something)Bella just not in front of The Godfather Duty. (tee hee) Debut of (name)Bella? End of this month. There is baby-holding in my future and you know how happy that makes me. (Happy Happy Joy Joy)

I missed some good memeage over at Gal’s so I plan to be stealing from her soon. Glad she’s in a happy posting mood. I need some creative juice. (Where can I buy that in a bottle?)

Four years ago Lauren closed her eyes to this world and opened them to another.  There are truly no words to describe how much our whole family misses her.  I don’t know just how she did it but she managed to understand people on a deep soul level.  She made them feel seen, understood and loved. 

While I was thinking of what to put in this post, I came across some cards she had given me over the years and thought it would be a nice visual for you guys to see how special she made me feel.  There are a few Eddie Izzard references in there, a hockey reference (dare you to find it)  and one goofing on her very own mom, Cousin O’Love for wearing a pajama top out in public. (Not on purpose, I don’t think!) 

Lauren had a very sweet and gentle spirit, full of love and light. She encouraged me in all my woo-woo activities because she knew what was in my heart and trusted that.  We were partners in crime, permanently twelve years old (and don’t you know she would have gladly gone with me to see David Cook just because) and soul sisters from many, many lives together. 

I wish she were still here for a million reasons (not all of them selfish),but I know that when I close my eyes here and wake up there, she will be waiting for me with arms wide open.  

On this day, I celebrate and honor all that Lauren’s life meant to me and to many others and send out a beam of yellow light to Cousin O’Love, La’s dad Steve and Artsy McFartsy herself. Life isn’t the same without her, is it? 

“With every goodbye you learn ….”

So, the pool at the gym is FINALLY back in working shape and I am beyond ecstatic about it. Christine and I did the requisite 25 minutes on the treadmill and then it was race to the pool to float for thirty minutes. I was in heaven. Heaven I tell you!

My inner two-year-old is so happy now. I didn’t know just how much I missed it.

And I’ve discovered something called Windows Live Writer which makes it MUCH easier to add cool stuff to the blog like pics and videos and whatnot. After I write and preview the entry, it imports it right into WordPress and voila! A new fancy ass post! YEY for technology. Now if I can just figure out how to move all my files and music over from my old laptop, I’ll be in business. That’s for another day, I suppose.

I decided to go back and review all my Valentine’s Day entries on ye olde Snarkypants to see what I’ve said in the past (because I am just that infatuated with my own writing). When I wasn’t blathering on about the Goddaughter of Love (who seemed to be the focus of many posts), I was writing about things and people I loved. I decided to continue in that tradition today.

1. Thing: raw milk – mmmmm! This is my newest yumminess and it is awesomeness in a bottle. I got just a half gallon of it to make sure I liked it and once I had a glass, I was hooked. I think my body LOVES the Vitamin D in there because I totally crave it now. This last time I ordered a gallon so we’ll see how long that lasts.

2. Person: My friend Christine who has the dearest heart of almost anyone I know. She’s sweet, fun and just seeing her face and her smile always makes me feel loved. I remember meeting her about 4 years ago and just really wanting to be friends with her. I gave her my phone number and when she called, I was so so happy. She’s one of my closest buddies and always a good woo-woo guinea peeg.

3. Thing: my laptop – my constant companion, holder of all my Cookie photos, podcasts, and internets (which I love with the heat of a thousand million white hot suns) – bury me with it because I can’t go anywhere without my computer. Not even Heaven where I hear there’s unlimited internets.

4. Person: my muse – for a bunch of reasons but especially because they help stir up that creative second chakra energy even while laughing at my 12 year old Cookie crush. A world class champeeen woo-woo guinea peeg who halfway pays attention to what the guides say (heh) and who gives me all the worship one High Priestess of Woo-Woo deserves.

5. Thing: I’m going to put my cats in here even though they aren’t “things” per se. They are as follows: Miss Lucie, my snuggle bunny and Miss Sophia, my independent love. After spending almost six or seven months learning how to adapt to each other, they are finally on the road. In fact, the other day I witnessed a miracle: Sophia jumped up on a chair where Lucie was snoozing and instead of there being a small hissing incident, Sophia proceeded to lick Lucie’s head and Lucie let her. True, it was for about 10 seconds but hey! It’s progress. I love them both, even if Lucie can’t quite figure out why peeing in her box is preferable to the plastic surrounding it (for just that reason) and Sophie thinks that going out into the sunroom in the winter is like going outside. We let her have that fantasy. It’s cold out there anyway.

6. Person: Couldn’t let this one go by: My two sekrit boyfriends: David Cook and Hal Sparks. Love Cookie’s voice, arm porn, sweet nature, laugh and (ahem) fanbase. Love Hal’s intelligence, quick wit, ability to be totally comfortable with who he is, arm porn and his accessibility. It was immediate love with Cookie but Hal totally won me over. I feel very balanced in my love/lust for these two men.

7. Thing: my really wonderful california king size bed that I share with just Sophia. Duty snores and has weird bedtime habits (or maybe it’s me who has them) so we sleep in separate rooms. Pretty much always have because only children who get married really late in life prefer it that way. Mostly because I can read when I want, toss and turn, sleep sideways, and generally let my guard down there. You’d have to be pretty amazing for me to sleep in the same bed with you for any length of time. (Hal or David would win hands down. The rest of youse? Aww hell naw!)

8. Person: Neighbor Greg – he may be a redneck who smokes and drinks with the best of them but we have been beyond blessed to live near his family and be a part of their life. He drives me crazy by explaining EVERY FUCKING THING to me (it always starts out “Now, what ya wanna do is ….” and what I mostly wanna just do is roll my eyes and scream). Yet, my inner voice knows that if I listened once in a while, I’d learn something. Plus, he came over at 10:30pm one night to get a mouse that died in the living room while Duty was off on a work adventure. (ICK!) Can’t beat that. He’s a good man.

And now, I think I will take myself shopping for some socks with hearts on them. I love them! heh

Dearest Darling Queen Mimi had the nerve to claim COOKie as her own sekrit boyfriend:

P.S. We have the same secret boyfriend. Mr. Cook is mine. Just sayin’…..

and I feel I must set her straight.

Did she:

* dial for four hours straight the night of the finale?
* stand online for four hours in the August sun to meet him for three seconds (most of which I stuttered through)?
* attend every concert within three hours of here this summer? (Four of them, to be exact)
* drag her ass 3.2 miles in the rain for brain cancer research?
* buy copies of his cd to give as gifts?

I rest my case. I’d go on but I’ve already embarrassed myself beyond what I normally do for this blog. Can’t have you peeking too closely into my inner world, you know.

Therefore, I claim him as my sekrit boyfriend even though I am neither younger, blonder nor thinner and cannot possibly be what seems to be “his type”. That’s why it’s a sekrit – he never has to know!

I was pondering this while I was snowbound this weekend: would it be easier to be Cookie’s girlfriend or Hal’s?

On one hand, Dave is young and fun – like a puppy. He’s got a tender heart and there’s really no one who has met him that doesn’t like him. He falls in love easily, I’m betting. (Especially if you’re this chick. Really, Dave. What were you thinking?) But, you’d have to contend with a ZILLION jealous fan girls waiting to either say crap things about you or steal him from you. Being his girlfriend is not for the insecure. (So, yeah. That’s not me.)

Hal, on the other had, at 40 has been around a bit. And while there’s a bit of puppy playfulness about him, there’s also an awesome mind full of facts and ideas and funny stuff. This intrigues me. I couldn’t hope to keep up with him but it would be interesting trying. So, while I’d be lured by his mind, his humor and his arm porn (second only to Cookie’s), there’s the fact that he’s hard core straight edge which means no drinking (see? I couldn’t get him drunk and take advantage of him), no smoking (fine with me) and … he’s vegan. Now, he’s not pushy about any of it from what I can tell but there’s no way he’d hang with cookie-snarfing me. Just no way.

What to do? What to do? In my case, nothing. I’ll just continue to adore them from afar and revel in pictures of arm porn, fanbases and smiles. Oh, Gal, btw – Hal actually DOES sing but it’s some thrash metal and I cannot judge how good it is because I am old and it all sounds like noise mostly. Check this out – it’s the acoustic version of “She waits” – it’s really, really good. Not metal at all.

Bottom line: I love them both (one a little more than the other, as you know) and am happy to be a fangirl of the highest order. And yes, I’m dragging my ass for hope again this year (hopefully NOT in the rain!).