Posts in category teh WooWoo

Sick of me yet?

June 5, 2014 Written by Lisa

MRI today- I hear it’s rather loud in that damn tube so bringing ear plugs just in case. I should perhaps use the time to chat with my angels about WTF is going on over here, not just with me but with Duty as well.

For no other reason than this makes me laugh every damn time

When I joined Sancta Sophia Seminary, the Dean told us that while we all sign up willingly, knowing that we are stepping into huge personal and transformative shifts, our spouses do not and yet they are also impacted by what we do energetically.

And so it is with Duty. When I shifted, lots of things started to shake out.

All that doesn’t resonate at this new energetic level has to go.

I’m not at liberty to say what, exactly, went for Duty (and it’s not health related – that’s my purview these days!) but it calls for some trust in the Universe and a boot in the ass on something he’s been dithering about for a while now.

If your life has been shaken up a bit recently (waves to Gal), much of it is the transformational energies all around us. It’s like we’re tossed up into the air and when we come back down, the landscape looks different. Familiar but somehow …. not.

Onward we go, kittens.

Blah blah blah, General Blatherings

Life without my mother’s energy

May 24, 2014 Written by Lisa

I loved my mother dearly because she was an amazingly strong woman who lived through so many awful situations in her life.

My grandmother forbid her from marrying the only man she truly loved (who loved her back wholeheartedly) because it was 1954 and he was divorced and that was shameful and unacceptable in the Catholic church. She became sort of a recluse after that and grieved that loss for years. (Can’t say I blame her – I have letters he sent her and oh, he loved her in a way my dad did not.)

The man she married (my dad) lost his eyesight a year and a half into the marriage and both his legs when I was 10. She worked full-time, taking care of us both without much regard for what she wanted and needed. When I tell you my dad could be a hard-core shithead, that doesn’t even cover it some days. He was angry about a lot of things in his life (booted out of the monastery for being sick and never getting to live his dream of being a priest and his loss of eyesight and legs pretty much equaled zero autonomy) and took much of it out on her. She took it and took it and took it, being wounded to the very core by his words and actions.

And to find that the only child she would ever have adored and loved this man over and above her? The icing on the cake, I’m sure. So much hurt, so much pain she endured.

She was just 44 when my dad died and she never entertained any thoughts about another relationship with someone. As far as she was concerned, she was DONE with that and all her focus turned to me.

Who, of course, did not want that focus and fought it off tooth and nail. I was so very cruel to my mother for a good part of my teen years, desperately trying to get away from her oppressive hopelessness. We would often get into punching and slapping fights, I am sorry to say. Separating out from her became my life’s work because we were enmeshed from the very beginning.

And so, when her energy departed during the shamanic healing session, I emerged for the first time without her influence. Without the clinging, the desperation and the fear that someone I loved would be cruelly taken from me. I no longer carry the feeling that all I get is the “shitty end of the stick” (as she was wont to say).

I get to be just Lisa.

It feels like I walked into a whole new world where I am strong, where I don’t fear being abandoned, where I can stand in what I know to be true about myself and leave all the crap behind.

It’s her stuff. It’s what she came to work on in the world. How she did with her soul’s agreement is not for me to know. All I know is that I feel free. Like I’ve been sprung from prison after being wrongly accused and incarcerated for 53 years.

It’s taken me this long to be able to step into the next part of my journey. It’s taken me years of therapy, coaching, crying and hiding to get to this place.

I wish I could find the words to convey what a profound moment this is in my life. I feel like a child seeing DisneyLand for the very first time and am filled with wonder and the desire to go on every ride right RIGHT NOW.

Shedding all that doesn’t work for me (pretzel snarfing is a big one!) and inviting in what does has been the order of the week. I don’t think Duty can tell the difference (yet) or if he does, he’s not saying anything. Try as I might to explain all this to him, I just don’t think he gets it. He shrugs and says “Well, if you feel a difference, that’s all that matters.” (sigh) I want to scream at him saying “Don’t you see? EVERYTHING has changed!!” but I don’t because 1) he doesn’t deserve screaming and 2) it will show up in time and he’ll notice it when he’s ready (or not).

As in all matters highly spiritual, I share my joy with those who DO get it: my biz coach and my personal coach. The former saw it happen before her eyes and the latter is helping me manage the enormous sea change that’s taking place. (I am deeply indebted to both women.)

I love my mother with all my heart. And I am glad her energy is gone.

Guides and Teachers, Happy Stuff, Light Bulb, Pretty Sure Ive gone insane

Adventures in Archie-land* – Part One

May 21, 2014 Written by Lisa

(Waves hi to everyone!) I’m baaack!

What an amazing, transformative trip I had. Hence, the Parts One and Two (and maybe more, who knows?).

From start to finish, it was amazing and I came back a different person than I was when I left on Wednesday. Well, maybe not so much *different* as just more me. Me in a bigger way. The real High Priestess of the Woo** is here and she’s not retreating, not apologizing and definitely not hiding.

My business coach, Angella Johnson, introduced me to a lovely woman named Paula who is a shaman.

A shaman is a healer who moves into an altered state of consciousness to access a hidden reality in the spirit world for purposes of bringing back healing, power, and information. The word shaman comes from Siberia and means “one who sees in the dark” (the hidden realities), and widely refers to those who are medicine women/men, healers, and seers. Shamans believe that all problems, physical, emotional or mental, have their root cause in spiritual imbalance. A shaman works to restore balance and wholeness by addressing the root cause of the problem. Many methods are used in shamanic healing, including soul retrieval, retrieval of a spiritual ally, removal of unwanted energies, soul remembering, ancestral work, psychopomp (helping the deceased to cross over into the Light) and hands on healing. Shamans never work alone, but in conjunction with spiritual allies who guide them in providing what is needed for people. In my own practice I tell clients this is not my work, but rather Spirit working through me. My goal is always to be a clear and open channel for God’s healing, wisdom, and love to flow through me for the healing of the client.

We had planned to do our soul work session on the phone but when Paula heard I’d be in the NewPark City area, she asked if I’d like to do it in person. “Sure!”, thought I. That might be interesting.

I’m very familiar with the work of shamans, having studied many, many paths before mine opened up to me clearly. Paula is a natural. She resonates with the energy of the earth and the native ancestors. It was lovely to feel.

This is a long story so I shall do the TL;DR version:

During our session, it became clear that there was an energy attached to me that would not leave. The energy was not malevolent (as in a possession) but definitely NOT doing me any good. Turns out, it was my mom. She really, really did not want to leave. I get that.

My mom was always very attached to me, seeing me as an extension of herself (dare I say a better extension?) and was terrified that one day I’d just abandon her for good. (That boggled my mind always. She could be a pain in the ass (as any mom can be) but I loved her dearly and had no plans to abandon her ever.)

So, I had to “command” her to leave my energy or the healing couldn’t go forward. I did (thanking her for all the gifts and love and lessons) and we proceeded. While there were LOTS of other pieces I’ll explain eventually (or not, if I forget), this part was the most impactful although I didn’t see it until the last day of the retreat.

I have given up my fear of being seen in the world.

That is huge for me. I loved disappearing into the woodwork, trying to remain invisible so I wouldn’t be noticed or judged. (Weird for a chick who fancies herself the HPotW, right?)

“Let me not take up any space so my existence won’t bother you” has been the voice inside my head for a long time.

I am done with all that.

I’m here, I claim my work in a way I did not before and I no longer wish to hide. Whether that all belonged to my mother, parts of it her and parts of it me, I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. It’s gone.

In place of that came a confidence I don’t think I’ve ever had. I feel centered and strong.

And this truth-teller emerged, just saying what I think about stuff. I had not one but two “come to Jesus” talks with students yesterday about how they just fart around and don’t get anywhere. (I did say it nicer than that but that’s the crux of it.)

I’m done with bullshit and time wasters and energy leaks. I’m stepping out of two commitments I made that no longer fit and making sure I do it smoothly so as not to disrupt (much) the flow of their business. And I am revamping Level Two of my program to only hold space for those who are committed to doing intuitive work professionally. (I’ve created a different program for those who want to do it but without the expectations of a certification course.)

Shit has changed hardcore. I’ve changed hardcore.

There is no going back. And that’s a good thing, Martha.

(Part Two to follow)

* Archie = David Archuleta who came in second to the wonderful sekrit boyfriend and who is also a good Mormon boy from Utah.

** I will forever be indebted to the one person who saw this in me. Yes, it was said with a heavy dose of snark, but as soon as I heard it, I was all “Yep, that’s who I am at soul level”. He reminded me of it by being a willing guinea pig for all the woo I could pull out my ass even if he didn’t get it or believe it himself. In this and many other ways, he’s been a master teacher in my life and I honor that by owning this title in the biggest possible way.

Blah blah blah, General Blatherings, Guides and Teachers, Light Bulb

Dear Spring, please hurry! (plus bonus conspiracy stuffs!)

March 16, 2014 Written by Lisa

More snow (!!!) is predicted for tonight and I. just. cannot. with the damn snow!

Also, Duty is in Florida for a week for baseball and golf time and there’s no one to clear the car and driveway!

Whatever shall I do???

(hahah The answer is wait until it melts.)

He desperately needed this time away from life – the last few days before he left he was all control-freaky and just getting on my nerves nit-picking me all to hell. I just about shoved his ass out the door.

So, I’m on my own for the week (with the dogs and Miss Sophia). Good thing I’ve crate trained them now so I can escape the house (when we’re not being inundated with f’ing snow!).

And now, a change of topic

Y’all know I dig the conspiracy theories, right? Always have but the more I get involved with the Woo, the more I see shit that, when put together, makes sense to me. Pieces, pieces, pieces. Something is up with that missing Malaysian flight.

Jennifer Hoffman posted this on Facebook:

I have felt, ever since the plane’s disappearance was first reported, that there were many other elements at play, in why the plane disappeared and how. Now there are new developments concerning patents involving Freescale Semiconductor, its owner, Blackstone Investments and Jacob Rothschild, who owns it all.

Four of the 5 patent holders were on that plane (the four inventors) and in the event of their death, the patent ownership ultimately goes to Rothschild, who could be compared to Julius Ceasar, considering the extent of his wealth, power, and control in the world.

In the spirit of the ongoing revelation (from the word ‘reveal’) of the truth, we live in a world that is increasingly connected and transparency is required. Wouldn’t it be interesting if this ides of March begins the downfall of the family which has been at the helm of much of the world economic and political activity since the 1700s?

Coincidence? Nah. Don’t think so. But what is really going on? I have no idea. Something IS afoot, that much my spidey sense (and other of my woo-abilities) tell me.

OTOH, logic abounds and this guy also makes sense, if you’re looking for the non-woo version. He has lots of experience as a former intelligence officer. So, I will give some (small?) credence to what he says (mostly):

Conspiracy theories aren’t about the truth, they’re about the conspiracy theorist.

Wait for the official word and for the sake of Dread Cthulhu and your sanity, stop listening to TV pundits and World Net Daily. News media has to fill up bandwidth, and they will with whatever drooling idiocity that comes along, but you don’t have to listen to it and you certainly don’t need to go around repeating it.

It’s unusual for a plane to vanish nowadays, yes, especially for a large modern aircraft, but that doesn’t mean it has to be the plot of a Stephen King novel, or Ian Fleming for that matter. Ships, planes, people have vanished before. It happens. It used to happen a lot. They fall into the sea or into the remote jungle or the empty desert and are lost for months, sometimes years and even decades.

The world grows ever smaller, but it is still a vast, vast place, there are plenty of dark holes beyond the reach of technology for things to drop into and vanish for a while.

I have no idea what happened to this airplane, but the difference between me and the media is that I’m not afraid to admit it.

I think the truth lies in the middle somewhere of it all. Is this alien beings (finally) showing up and letting us know they’ve been here all along? Maybe. Is it something very simple as mechanical failure? Maybe.

There is so much more than meets the eye about the world/Universe we live in. To dismiss either end of the spectrum is to miss what might really be going on right underneath your nose.

As an aside, I don’t totally think that conspiracy theories are all about the theorist rather than the truth. Life isn’t so black and white, despite what Mr. Former Intelligence Officer says. There’s all kinds of stuff rolling around out there. Lots of it from nutjobs, true, and you may decide I am in that group. It’s okay with me if you do. But the more you are willing to see the gray, the more you see the gray. Make sense?

Jennifer Hoffman again:

I maintain that it was using a sophisticated form of technology that allowed the plane to not be cloaked, but hidden from physical awareness entirely, by moving it into an alternate dimension using technology that manipulates particulate matter and is capable of accessing other dimensions. Why that plane? Look at who was on it, 20 employees of Freescale Semiconductor, a Rothschild owned company that develops sophisticated sensor technology, among other things.

Here’s the paragraph I found interesting: “What’s especially fascinating to me in all this is that once the transponder was turned off, this massive aircraft apparently went into “stealth mode” where nobody could track it. Although this seems to defy the laws of physics and radar, we cannot argue with the fact that the plane was apparently untraceable as it flew for four hours after the transponder was turned off.”

More, as always, will be revealed. We do indeed live in interesting times.

Blah blah blah, Snowpocalypse, Wandering around the 'nets

Blessons abound!

November 22, 2012 Written by Lisa

You know, I am thankful every daggone day for the love I have in my life and all the comforts that make me happy. Looking back on this past year and all the “blessons” I got, I am thankful for them, too.

I am thankful for:

* Getting laid off from the day job in March – while I was beyond happy to be free, it was also scary to know that I couldn’t just count on a paycheck showing up whether I did any work or not. The blesson here was that I can create my own income doing the work I love.

* The gift of words – an email I got early on in my budding full-time career that basically asked me “Who are you to charge this amount for your work?” – that simple question caused me to go into hiding for about two-three months as I grappled with “Yeah, who AM I to do this?”. I came out the other side with the knowledge that who am I NOT to do this work and be paid well for it? This is the work of my soul, work I chose to do before I came here and there’s no reason I can’t earn a living from it. I am thankful that this person posed the question to me because it really made me look inside for the answers. And find them.

* Losing Max and Lucie – it’s always hard to let go of those we have loved and cared for so dearly. Max was 16 and Lucie 20 and that’s a long time to be with each other. They brought me joy, comfort and companionship during some really hard times in my life and also shared in and were part of the good times. The pain of losing them was washed away by the memory of all that was wonderful about them. I will see them again on the other side, this I do know for sure.

* Brogan – what can I say about this little dog who has taught me more about patience in the past six months than I’ve learned in the whole of my life? He’s joy and dorkyness rolled into a big furball. And the thing I love most? Duty’s bond with this dog. He needed that (Duty and maybe Brogan too!) and it makes my heart burst with love. When we lost Max, it tore a hole in our hearts and Brogan came in before we had a chance to close it back up. I’m glad for that, as much as I whine about it.

* Crossfit – I know I talk about this one often but I can’t say it enough – it often takes direct guidance to move me into action because I know if it’s been given to me to do, there’s a reason behind it. My Guides generally don’t give frivolous tasks. When I got this one, well, it was probably the hardest thing for me to just start. But I did. And while I will never compete in the Chubsters Crossfit Challenge, I know that each time I go, I’m getting better and better. I am in my body most days, tackle things I never thought I could do (physical and non) and feel so much more confidence. I love that. So yeah, hard to start, big rewards afterwards. Blesson, indeed.

* This lesson I learned only recently and it was a hard one. Thanks, Dr. Wayne Dyer for saying it better than I can. (emphasis mine and you all know why)

“An important teacher of mine, Abraham Maslow, always counseled that it was necessary for the self-actualized individual to be “independent of the good opinion of others.” Walk with Thoreau in your own mind. Listen to the voice you hear, and the drumbeat only you can feel, and honor it, while honoring it in those you love as well. It is the ultimate act of unconditional love. In being true to your inner calling, you may ruffle some feathers but you’ll have the peace and satisfaction of knowing that you fulfilled your divine purpose and encouraged others to do the same. Another brilliant nonconformist, Dr. Seuss, is credited with saying, “Be what you are and say what you feel, because those who will mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Wishing my three blog readers love, peace and joy today and every day. Thanks always for reading and commenting on my blatherings. For more than ten years, this has been my safe place. I’m glad to have it (and you!)

Blah blah blah, General Blatherings, Guides and Teachers, Light Bulb