In Access Consciousness, there’s a question (well, there’s only questions in AC!) that goes “Is this the change I’ve been asking for?” Meaning, if you’ve set your intention to do XYZ, and stuff happens that feels scary or weird as you align yourself more and more to your intention, then perhaps THAT is the change you’ve been asking for, just delivered in a way that isn’t what you envisioned.
Angella and I had a long talk yesterday and we both said what needed to be said – that being the lead coach in her program isn’t working out how we envisioned. For me (and my business) and really, for her as well.
Truth is, she doesn’t need a lead coach. She’s got it covered really well. And the other piece is that we are very similar in how we do things that there’s no complement there and my contributions aren’t shining the way they might in a different setting.
And it’s impacted my business in a huge way. Like this ($$$) kind of way. Once again, I’ve energetically left my own space, this time in support of someone else’s business. Because it’s my fucking comfort zone. It’s where I hide and it’s where I am safe under someone else’s wing.
In this case, it was Angella’s wing. And if I want to create my own business that’s solid, I have to get out of that space of safety. Otherwise, I may as well chuck it all and go back to the safety of corporate, right?
This was the right move, of that I am sure. But it stirred up so much shit! Oh my God. Stuff like “I suck and am not valuable in that group” (not true at all) and “You can’t do this on your own, Lisa” (not true at all) – those gremlins were waiting there in the dark to pounce and I just had to POD/POC* my way through the noise to find what is true.
Duty says (and continues to say) that he doesn’t care if I’m making money with PI and that as long as I’m happy, it’s good. But I care. This year was the first year I saw a net loss on the business and at this rate, it’s a friggin’ hobby and not a real business. That doesn’t make me happy, as you can imagine.
*POD/POC is the shorthand way of talking about the AC Clearing Statement. I continue to be amazed at how working through questions and clearing the junk in the way really makes a difference. It’s all energy, yo.