Posts in category What’s that about?

Living a life examined can be challenging

June 6, 2015 Written by Lisa

I’m not sure the title of this post makes sense but I know what I’m trying to say (even if you don’t). :)

Of all the things I’ve picked up and put back down in my life, my inner work has remained the one that I carry with me always. My passions wax and wane, one hundred percent or nothing, as my family likes to remind me. Either I’m all in or I’m out.

Truth.

When I think about the things I am most dedicated to doing, this one always shows up: working through my stuff to bring forth a better, bolder, more authentic me. For what reason, I don’t know. But it’s been this way all my life. The curiosity to know what’s going on underneath the surface, for myself and for others, the need to understand how things unfold and why – all there from pretty much day one, at least as I remember it.

They say that entrepreneurship is often a spiritual journey and I agree but I think (truly) all of life is a spiritual journey. If you choose it to be, anyway. How you work through the things that show up, what you’re open to receiving, who you call into your life – all of those things create the life you are living.

Deep thoughts (or not).

My Guide team is working diligently with my wonderful coach to help me navigate some deep stuff around betrayal lately. And not just the random betrayal that we all have but the “whoa! I totally didn’t see THAT coming” kind that knocks the wind out of your sails. The kind that makes you sad and mad and a host of other feelings that swirl around.

Vengeance is not a thing that resides in my energy. I don’t get that whole “you hurt me and now I’ll come after you” kind of thing. Maybe because I’m averse to conflict (and vengeance thrives on that) but what is the point? If someone has hurt me, I’ll say it and they’ll either hear it and act upon it or not. For me to go all “You killed my father and now you must DIE!” on them makes no sense to me. I’d rather just release it and move on.

So, when people use what I’ve shared in confidence to try to hurt me or others, it plain boggles my brain. Like, why would you do that? What do you gain outside of some smug satisfaction that you’ve wounded another? Perhaps that IS what they’re after. It must feed them on some level, I suppose. Still, I don’t get it at all.

Looking at the betrayals that have happened in my life, I see that I have gotten nudges and clues that this could happen but I CHOSE to ignore them, thinking “oh that person wouldn’t do that to me. We’re too close.” And that’s when I’ve been blindsided. This latest one shouldn’t have come as a surprise but it did and stung.

However, it’s the conduit for where I need to go in my inner work to unearth those places where I’ve chosen not to see what’s coming – both in this life and in other past lives. There’s a huge thread and a clue to something deep and hidden that now needs to be brought into the light and healed.

This is big work, so I hear from my Guides, and key to what’s coming next. They gave me a laundry list of things I need to do to prepare for what’s coming – animal and flower essences, gentleness with myself, more water, more water, more water. This wound is actually one of my most primal, soulful ones and you can’t just throw hot sauce into a gaping wound like that. (So my Guides say)

To the person who helped me into this work, I bow and say thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to go to this place so that I can move forward. You’ve been a catalyst in many ways and though we are no longer speaking, I honor the part of you that has held up your end of our soul contract. My human, sensitive self is left wondering what the heck is going on but the higher self says ‘thank you’ with enormous gratitude.

High Drama, What's that about?

Three posts in three days? What is the world coming to?

May 14, 2014 Written by Lisa

Don’t get yer panties in a wad, yo. I am doing this in between laundry and packing so that’s pretty much why you’re getting so much snark-a-riffic news.

Onward:

Do you believe in magic? When have you felt it?

Yes, but it’s spiritual magic, not magic for self-gain or whatever. Energy / magic just is so it’s the intent with which you use it that matters. I like the “using my powers for good” kind.

Is there something that people consistently ask for your advice on? What is it?

Woo stuff, usually. And other internet related things like “what’s the best app for (whatever)” or “where can I find (whatever)? I’m queen of finding shit online.

Have you ever fantasized about changing your first name? To what?

No, not really. When I was younger, I wanted to be called Chris or Terry because it seemed to me all the cool girls were named that. Lisa seems to suit me fine, now.

When was the last time you astonished yourself?

Back when I was doing Crossfit. I couldn’t believe I was able to do some of those things (with an enormous amount of coaxing from my wonderful trainer). It felt good to do something I never thought I could.

What’s your personal anthem or theme song?

i don’t think I have one, actually. Favorite song I can feel in my bones? “Ain’t Nobody” by Chaka Khan and Rufus

Do you ever yearn for your life, before Facebook?

No. As much as I bitch about it, I like Facebook a lot. I get to see what’s going on in the world, with my friends and it’s a great place to host groups for all my classes. I love the internet in general and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

What’s your definition of an ideal houseguest?

We meet for breakfast, they go their way, I go mine, maybe dinner and a drink and then back home to separate quarters. I’m such a monk!

If you had an extra $100 to spend on yourself every week, what would you do?

Massages, baybeeee! I loves me some!

If you could sit down with your 15-year old self, what would you tell him or her?

Be nice to Tina C. She just wanted to be liked, as you did. Why be mean? You’ll regret this for a long time.

What are you BORED of?

ME. Inside my head. Whining about the same old shit. I want something new to whine about!

(Who’s playing along? Gal, these are some good questions!!)

Blah blah blah, Memeage, Pretty Sure Ive gone insane, What's that about?

Freaks, dreams, starvation, fiction and rituals – I haz dem

May 13, 2014 Written by Lisa

followers Continuing on from yesterday’s five questions for deep thought, we are on to questions 6-10.

What are you FREAKISHLY good at?

I think you all know this but in case you’re new here, I talk to angels. (Says they call her out by her name)

They speak back to me, which is a really fun party trick unless you’re in a room full of atheists in which case, not so much.

I can hear Spirit Guides, Archangels, Divine Ascended beings (of the Jesus-level variety), sometimes those who has passed on and always my goddaughter Lauren. I’m a fabulous clairaudient because I hear them as if we were having a conversation. I make a lovely living doing this work and teaching others how to do it as well.

I am a freak. I know.

What’s one dream that you’ve tucked away, for the moment? How come?

That I will live in a house on the water. It seems like we’ll live here (close enough but not ON the water) for most of our future days. But I still dream of having a house by the ocean with my office window facing the water so I can do my woo-work and gaze out into the sea.

What are you STARVING for?

Just by my not sharing the real answer, you might be able to guess so let’s pretend I said something different, mmmkay?

I am starving for discipline (not the sexy kind but the “get your shit done and feel good” kind). I always want to blame it on the dogs but they’ve only been with us a couple years and the lack of the big D has followed me all my life. I get bursts now and again and that will have to do.

If you could have tea with one fictional character, who would it be?

I know Gal would pick someone lofty but I’ll just have to go with Bridget Jones. I like her and we could spend the afternoon goofing off and whining. She’d be a good whining buddy.

Do you have a morning ritual?

Yes and it involves two cups of coffee and two hours of web surfing time. (High maintenance on the internets, there)

Blah blah blah, Memeage, What's that about?

Five for Fighting and Thinking

May 12, 2014 Written by Lisa

Alexandra Franzen is a really cool chick who periodically sends out some food for thought in the form of random questions. (I like her.)

She said this:

Here’s a collection of 100 questions to inspire self-discovery + understanding … and maybe your next blog post, journal entry, book outline, first date or dinner party conversation.

Since y’all are dead tired of me whining on these here pages (I know I am!), I thought I’d try this. Some of the questions (she posed 100 of them) make me squirm but I decided to try and answer them anyway as an exercise in self-discovery.

You’ve been warned.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

“You are so fucking intense” – said in a good way (I hope). I think it had to do with being a wildly erotic creature at an earlier point in my life. I never showed that side to many so it felt good to know it was appreciated the few times I did show it.

What’s one thing you’re deeply proud of — but would never put on your résumé?

My decision to support Lauren’s soul in its wish to leave the physical plane. After I tried bargaining and 800 other things to keep her here, I understood it was her soul’s wish to go and so I chose to walk that path with her, knowing she would leave in the end. It was hard because I wanted her to stay so so much and yet understood that my wishes were not at play here. And I surrendered to the Universe.

What’s the most out-of-character choice you’ve ever made?

I think it was to take the Series 7 test (the Registered Representative licensing test). I am not good with logical stuff and math stuff and this encompassed both. It was a HUGE stretch for me at the time and it took me several tries to pass it (over which I felt enormous shame but also realized I couldn’t half-ass my way through it) but in the end I prevailed. I will never, ever take that test again. Ever.

If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for $5,000 and said, “Help me solve a problem — any problem!” … what would you do with him or her?

This is a tough one for me – not sure where I’d start. Probably locally, helping needy families in my community. The way this question is written, I can’t tell if the $5000 is to be used for that or it’s for me and we can totally solve a problem. ::boggle::

What’s going to be carved on your (hypothetical) tombstone?

Here lies Lisa, perpetually wondering “What’s that about?” – I’ll wonder about all kinds of things until the day I die (and hopefully get some answers on the next plane).

Feel free to snag all the questions and play along. Click on this link —> (right here) to get them all.

Blah blah blah, General Blatherings, Memeage, What's that about?

Travels to strange lands (okay, just Utah)

May 9, 2014 Written by Lisa

Next week, I’ll be traveling to Park City, Utah for a 3-day retreat with my mastermind group. I had a blast when we met up in Arizona in January and since then, some of my favorites in that group have shifted and left.

We have three new women in there whom I have not yet met. One of them seems kind of spacey to me (like I can’t wrap my head around her energy) and I can’t get a read on the other two. Meeting in person will be fun, though.

This time we’re going to be focusing on visibility and holy shit, that brings up so much stuff for me.

All my physical imperfections roar loudly to remind me that I am never going to have straight teeth (I really don’t want dentures, you guys. I so don’t!) or a thin body (healthy? Yes, I have that and I’d take chubs and healthy over thin and unhealthy but you know what I mean.).

I dress like a dork and never really look put together or stylish. I buy shoes for the personality inside me but my chubs doesn’t balance well on tippy heels and so that personality stays in the closet.

I am reminded (AGAIN!) that I am not at home in my body. It’s like this foreign entity separate from my head and my heart. It gets in the way and it holds me back. But it’s the vehicle my soul chose for this go-round.

(Next time? I’m choosing a body that flows with my soul rather than making my soul fight against it.)

Anyway, we are having new professional pictures done along with a hair/makeup person making us pretty so it’s probably the best I’ll look for a while. The only thing I don’t want is a professional picture that doesn’t resemble the walking-around me.

One practitioner I know has a LOVELY headshot on her site. Her hair is all curled and she just sparkles. When she posts pictures of her or videos, it is not that sparkly person. No curls, no radiance. It’s like a shock to the system whenever I see her.

I really don’t want that. I may not be the most gorgeous glamour kitty but I’m me. And I want my pictures to reflect that real person in all her “flawsomeness”. That’s important to me.

Have I mentioned that I love staying in hotels? Especially by myself. I can take baths and sit in the silence. No dogs, no snoring, no nothing. Just me and tubs and quiet. (I’m so weird, I know.)

Looking forward to traveling, spending time with my mentor (whom I adore!) and those who are in the same entrepreneurial space with me. I’m ready to go to the next level of visibility. (I think. Don’t hold me to that.)

Blah blah blah, General Blatherings, Happy Stuff, What's that about?