WHINE WARNING. Click more at your own risk.
Duty and I went to see “Hidden Figures” today (it was quite good) and there were a couple parts (well, more than a couple) that just made my heart and soul so sad. Like, I could have just started crying right there in the theatre about the way women in general and women of color in particular were treated.
I know that’s how it was and that things have changed (and of course, more change is still needed desperately) but why was it okay to think people were inferior based on skin color? Or gender? Who decreed this to be THE TRUTH? White men, of course.
I’ve been hanging out in a lot of intersectional groups lately and have become much more attuned to these injustices but I always wondered why things like this were a certain way. When I was younger, I pondered why only men were allowed to be priests. Or why our government is made up mostly of white men. (Still is, alas.)
Apparently, back at my home planet, we didn’t pay much heed to those things and revenge and rage aren’t on the menu so this chick doesn’t ‘get’ this. At all. I get anger, yes. Felt it, too. But rage and revenge and doing things to purposely dick over people? Yeah, no. Not in this lifetime.
It’s possible I’m exquisitely sensitive and picking up more than my share of vibes that my heart and soul hurt at these injustices I am awakening to more and more and/or it’s possible I’ve lived lifetimes as an oppressed person and know the feelings from the inside out. Who knows?
Speaking of who knows, Jesus take all the wheels because our government has gone off the deep end in just one week. Trump is an energetic disruptor and an agent of change for higher consciousness and damn if he isn’t doing it at warp speed. This sponge girl got filled up with outrage early in the day and had to get wrung out every evening. When we look back at this time, we will see how it all had to happen this way for the shift that is needed. I don’t know if even Bernie could have brought it about so quickly.
A bumpy ride is ahead of us but I have a strange sense of calm about it (Facebook status posts to the contrary!) and we will come out of this in a different and better place.
I cannot keep up with the cyclone of news coming at me these days. And what’s interesting to me is that I really can take in a lot of information, almost like a sponge. So when I’m completely full up, you know there’s a lot swirling.
Since I was in Utah over the last week (during the Inauguration, thankfully), I was involved all day, every day in client stuff and didn’t have time to sit in front of my laptop lapping up every morsel.
(And really, don’t I have better uses of my time? Yes, I do. Do I do them? No, I do not.)
It was during this time I realized how damn addicted I am to my news/analysis shows (The Young Turks) and online commentary since I was jonesin’ for them by the end of the day.
I suspect all of this is – for me – a distraction. It engages my mind, I can easily go into outrage and then I don’t “have time” to do stuff on my business. So convenient. Especially when I’m in SPIN mode where I don’t know what I’m doing or how I want to do it.
Also, I have entirely TOO MUCH information coming at me from various courses I keep signing up for. It feels like I am drowning and I just can’t keep up.
I think it’s time for an online sabbatical. (Even ONE day would be difficult for me. Sadly.)
What I might have to do is pare down the number of political pages I follow where the outrage is amped up (warranted because of insanity/corruption/fuckery in the White House).
I follow a few that talk about taking daily action and I have called my asshat Teabagger congressman’s office on the regular, written letters and done what I can. I have connected with the Queen Anne’s County Democratic Party and will attend their next meeting. (They are slow as molasses addressing comments on social media. Maybe I can help with that part.)
But me drowning in every minute detail of what Trump is doing is not helping me or anyone else. I am not effective from that place of constant “Look! Squirrel!” energy.
It’s time for me to focus on what I need to do, do what I can on issues that are important to me and ways I can best offer my services and get back into my business.
Speaking of which, how did I lose my way? (I listened outside myself is what happened.) I want to fold the Prince work into my site (I suppose I’ll keep the Purple Saturation site still separate for now) and get my damn self out there. The Be Who You Are stuff came flowing out so naturally and the LisaMW stuff is just stuck. (I know. I know.)
Bottom line: Get your head out of your ass and back in the game. Ignore the Trump outrage, do your part and get off line for parts of the day. (Ugh, I love and hate routine.)
How are you all doing? Gal? Kwiz? Jody? Fill me in!
Ever feel like the 3 million things you do to make someone’s life easier, better, happier just go unnoticed or taken for granted? I do.
(Side note: as “seer of all sides”, I recognize that I’m not the only one that feels this way, my mom likely felt it, all moms / good friends / teachers / lovely people feel it. I just have to get this out.)
I love Duty with all my heart and know he loves me in his own way. But some days, all the stuff I do that I think makes his life easier just gets taken for granted.
For example, I make sure his phone is charged up, his keys, work badge, wallet, etc. are all in one place for him in the morning. He bought the wrong kind of coffee at the store yesterday and was going to take it back. I put it in a bag with the receipt taped to it so he could take it. I make sure his glasses are always by his computer when he leaves them laying all over the house.
And so what? Right? These are the things that go unnoticed or at least if he does notice them, unremarked upon. I say thank you often for things he does around the house. He tells me to stop saying it, that I’ve already said it. (He hates when something is said more than once.)
There are pros and cons to being married to someone who walks through life in some sort of oblivious fog. Today, it feels very con-like. And I feel very unappreciated.
Come to realize one of the few places I ever felt appreciated was Ye Olde Place of Employ. Apparently, my vat of stored appreciation has run dry.
I’m still here, yo. Still working on my newish site which had to take a backseat because I agreed to do someone else’s site. Why? I do not know. None of what I’ve done with this client has made sense or been a fit and yet, I did it AND took on more. Way to procrastinate there, girl!
However, it’s moving along albeit slowly.
Here’s what I notice about myself: I sure do love to take online group courses and then not show up. Or show up a little and then pretend none of it is going on at all. Why am I doing that? It adds to my feelings of overwhelm which are in top form right now. Papers are piling up on the table in front of me and I just push them aside and go on ignoring them.
How was your Christmas, if you celebrate that? Ours was nice and peaceful. I made some really bad Italian cookies, ate lots of food, gave and received some lovely gifts and all in all, had a nice holiday. Much better than last year when I was taken out by almost-pneumonia.
Wishing all three of youse a wonderful 2017. Cheers to some extra Snarkypants!