I decided to go back and review all my Valentine’s Day entries on ye olde Snarkypants to see what I’ve said in the past (because I am just that infatuated with my own writing). When I wasn’t blathering on about the Goddaughter of Love (who seemed to be the focus of many posts), I was writing about things and people I loved. I decided to continue in that tradition today.
Things and people I adore and the reasons why
(circa February 2010)
1. Thing: raw milk – mmmmm! This is my newest yumminess and it is awesomeness in a bottle. I got just a half gallon of it to make sure I liked it and once I had a glass, I was hooked. I think my body LOVES the Vitamin D in there because I totally crave it now. This last time I ordered a gallon so we’ll see how long that lasts.
2. Person: My friend Christine who has the dearest heart of almost anyone I know. She’s sweet, fun and just seeing her face and her smile always makes me feel loved. I remember meeting her about 4 years ago and just really wanting to be friends with her. I gave her my phone number and when she called, I was so so happy. She’s one of my closest buddies and always a good woo-woo guinea peeg.
3. Thing: my laptop – my constant companion, holder of all my Cookie photos, podcasts, and internets (which I love with the heat of a thousand million white hot suns) – bury me with it because I can’t go anywhere without my computer. Not even Heaven where I hear there’s unlimited internets.
4. Person: my muse – for a bunch of reasons but especially because they help stir up that creative second chakra energy even while laughing at my 12 year old Cookie crush. A world class champeeen woo-woo guinea peeg who halfway pays attention to what the guides say (heh) and who gives me all the worship one High Priestess of Woo-Woo deserves. :)
5. Thing: I’m going to put my cats in here even though they aren’t “things” per se. They are as follows: Miss Lucie, my snuggle bunny and Miss Sophia, my independent love. After spending almost six or seven months learning how to adapt to each other, they are finally on the road. In fact, the other day I witnessed a miracle: Sophia jumped up on a chair where Lucie was snoozing and instead of there being a small hissing incident, Sophia proceeded to lick Lucie’s head and Lucie let her. True, it was for about 10 seconds but hey! It’s progress. I love them both, even if Lucie can’t quite figure out why peeing in her box is preferable to the plastic surrounding it (for just that reason) and Sophie thinks that going out into the sunroom in the winter is like going outside. We let her have that fantasy. It’s cold out there anyway.
6. Person: Couldn’t let this one go by: My two sekrit boyfriends: David Cook and Hal Sparks. Love Cookie’s voice, arm porn, sweet nature, laugh and (ahem) fanbase. Love Hal’s intelligence, quick wit, ability to be totally comfortable with who he is, arm porn and his accessibility. It was immediate love with Cookie but Hal totally won me over. I feel very balanced in my love/lust for these two men.
7. Thing: my really wonderful california king size bed that I share with just Sophia. Duty snores and has weird bedtime habits (or maybe it’s me who has them) so we sleep in separate rooms. Pretty much always have because only children who get married really late in life prefer it that way. Mostly because I can read when I want, toss and turn, sleep sideways, and generally let my guard down there. You’d have to be pretty amazing for me to sleep in the same bed with you for any length of time. (Hal or David would win hands down. The rest of youse? Aww hell naw!)
8. Person: Neighbor Greg – he may be a redneck who smokes and drinks with the best of them but we have been beyond blessed to live near his family and be a part of their life. He drives me crazy by explaining EVERY FUCKING THING to me (it always starts out “Now, what ya wanna do is ….” and what I mostly wanna just do is roll my eyes and scream). Yet, my inner voice knows that if I listened once in a while, I’d learn something. Plus, he came over at 10:30pm one night to get a mouse that died in the living room while Duty was off on a work adventure. (ICK!) Can’t beat that. He’s a good man.
And now, I think I will take myself shopping for some socks with hearts on them. I love them! heh
One of my friends from “Cooklandia” sent this along in a tweet yesterday and I had to laugh because it’s so her:
Making cake in turkey-shaped pan. Batter did not rise enough and now have cake with no turkey head. Is this too disturbing to bring 2morrow?
*HEH* Why does this seem like a creation that would come out of MY kitchen? I’d never worry if it would disturb my family though. We have seen it all, pretty much. Headless turkeys do not scare us.
And now … things for which I am thankful this day:
1. Four shows and one 5k walk in the cold rain later, I still adore David Cook just as much as always. When I see some of the shenanigans others from AI are up to (talking to you, Lambert), I am thankful Dave took and keeps taking the higher road. (Plus the arm porn has only gotten better!) He’s a keeper for sure.
2. Speaking of keepers, The Gal keeps her #1 SnarkyFan crown for yet another year. Thank you for always leaving me a comment or two. It keeps me from feeling like I’m blogging into the abyss.
3. A job – despite my hours being cut, responsibilities being increased and some aggravating new people, it’s a blessing to have a job at all these days. So much crap has gone on in the financial markets and it’s sad that the actions of a few impact so many. The financial consultants I work with (and the firm, actually) have a great deal of integrity and really do their best to assist their clients. I’m glad to be working and working THERE.
4. Successful integration of Sophia into the real world downstairs. Even though she and Lucie occasionally have words, they get along fine for the most part and it makes me feel better to have her downstairs with all of us.
5. My family, who has had a year full of tribulations to handle. I sincerely hope 2010 treats them all more gently. Also, too – they love me even though I am a horrendous hostess and mostly wish everyone would allow me to sit quietly in a corner and read while they have their little party. I’m glad they understand me.
I’m a lucky girl with a nice life. And I know it.
Ten Guilty Pleasures
mouse over each picture for more info or just something goofy I’ve said about it
Dave Report Number 389
… Wherein I lose what’s left of my sanity and go to a concert almost four hours away on a school night.
An open letter to my (apparently not-so-sekrit) boyfriend:
Dear Dave,
I love you. I really do. You’re talented, humorous in a dorky sort of way that appeals to me, look awfully nice in those pants tailored to fit your every, uh, feature and for a guy, you’re real pretty. Truth be told, I’d listen to you recite the alphabet and probably pay good money to do so.
This love has caused me to do some bizarre things. To wit:
** Standing in a crowd of Idol maniacs for three hours in the August Washington heat and humidity just to get a glimpse of you? (Bonus: stuttering in front of you and feeling like a big idiot.) Awesome!
**General Admission concerts which included a beach in VA and a University in Towson – wait times approx 3-4 hours each place. Hells yeah!
**State Fair in Delaware where I was surrounded by very bad food offerings (fried candy bars?) and accompanied by a sister-in-law with ace photo skills but a dead camera battery. Fantabulous!
**Walking a 5k in the pouring rain on a Sunday morning and then standing in said rain for another hour afterwards just to see you speak? I. am so there.
And now I can add this:
Spending many hours jammed in a mini-van with six other women (Dave fans all) driving to a far away locale to see you perform for 90 minutes. And then driving home again to arrive at my final destination around 1:30am.
Only for you, dearest Dave, would I brave chaos, noise, confusion and paying for two seats instead of one. (I don’t quite know how this happened but it seems that it did.) In return I got homemade biscotti, intelligent conversation about all things DC related, a chance to see Charlottesville again and a reason to leave work early today. Oh yeah, and, of course, an awesome show. Live “Man in the Box†was spectacular as was acapella “Lie†and my personal pony “Straight Aheadâ€. Only your loving and dedicated fans would welcome (nay encourage!) your blatherings about grilled cheese with chili, calamari and, oh by the way, did you have french fries too?
I’ve come full circle from my first show literally standing at your feet in Towson to my last for this year standing at your feet (but a bit more on the right). For my trouble I caught one of your guitar picks (okay, I didn’t but the chick who did gave it to me) and was present at what the kids nowadays call an “Epic!!” show. So so so glad I decided to go.
So Dave, my not-so-sekrit boyfriend, whether you are wearing that fucking hat, shirts that show off the arm porn, jeans hinting at fanbase issues or a suit because you just got back from Capitol Hill, you are still our dorky Dave. Don’t go changing, k?
Faithfully yours,
Lisa
See, today I decided that I was done farting around online every night reading this website or that. I was going to plan my evenings! PLAN THEM, I tell you! I would work on some woo-woo thing or read or do something, anything other than surf. Knowing my propensity for farting around online, I gave myself two nights out of five to just free form it. But the other three had to have some productive element to it. How empowering all that felt to me! I fantasized about David Cook and his arms all the things I would accomplish with this wealth of time. I would start this very evening, in fact.
And then something happened. I found a link on my friend’s Facebook page and I have now spent the better part of the last hour looking at inane pictures and going from one page to the next.
First, there’s the “Awkward Family Photos” page where I found this gem:
And then I surfed over to Celebrity Camel Toe section where this one caught my, uh, eye.
I am not a fan of the camel toe but had to put that one in there just for a certain special someone who loves to chant those words just to annoy me. (Uh huh – you know who you are! heh)
Finally, here’s something that I think even Mad Men wouldn’t put forth – a Chase & Sanborn coffee ad from the 70s. OY!
If you’ve got about eleventy hours to kill, start surfing around that site. I guarantee that you will wonder where the time went.
Beware the Internet Time Suck! And now, off to do something productive! (or not)
NB: This was definitely a weird one and I just wrote what came out. Some stuff you’ll get, some makes no sense and it probably shouldn’t. The words in bold are my responses to the Queen’s blanks. Totally, totally random. And now, on with the show.
Forty years ago this week, three days of peace, love and rock ‘n roll (and mud) happened near Bethel, New York. It was the Summer of 1969.
Attire: Hippie jeans. Long hair. Legal or illegal smoke. Psychedelic vibe.
The scene: You are at Woodstock. You go alone but meet up with a beautiful man/woman. You spend three days together. Put yourself inside the peace & love vibe. You can choose to be stoned or straight. I put it in the story for the sake of reality. Just don’t inhale in this meme.
This is the conversation you have upon meeting or you can make it into what you overhear others say. It makes no sense and has no continuity by design.
You must fill in the familiar blanks to finish the story. Some are song lyrics. You may use more than one word to fill in the blanks.
Oh! I forgot to tell you (must be the smoke in here) You have a new name. It must a combination of the first letter of your first name, the third letter of your middle name and the last letter of your last name.
Peace out! Somebody might wanna turn on a fan in here.
1. “Hello, my groovy name is LRR. You pronounce it Lurrrrr.
By the looks of those flowers in your hair, you must be friends with a florist because they are some fancyass flowers!
Didn’t they tell you? No skinny arms allowed!
2. Come on, Baby, light my uh, flashlight?
When I lay me down to contemplate the horror that is my life, I pray the hell my guardian angel leaves me some COOKies to keep.
If I eat them all before I wake, I pray the doctor my scale to take.
**puff puff**
3. Because the first time ever I saw your arms I realized that what the world needs now is arm porn sweet arm porn. Besides, I always feel guilty watching you dance around in those pirate pants when I should be doing my seminary work.
But I dig it! (Oh yes, I do!)
4. Have I told you lately that I know I annoy you? Hey! Don’t step on that beetlebug!!!
Dude. That guy is really weird but….. he’s alright by me, yeah yeah yeah.
5. There’s a party in my sleeping bag and half a million of my David Cook loving friends are coming over tonight and we’re gonna CENSORED my baby off my mind. Darn the luck. It’s raining here and there.
Luckily, Papa was a rolling in his wheelchair and I’m on a first name basis with the cops. (I bring them coffee and donuts ‘cuz I’m nice like ‘dat)
**puff puff**
6. I’m really digging your ass but that stupid hat has got to go. Those flowers in your hair are beginning to smell like someone’s ass and it ain’t yours, dude.
Have I told you lately that I am in major lust with you? (It’s true.)
** puff puff**
7. I’m beginning to see cats in those trees over there. Do you see it?
Out of all the millions of hippies here, you are the most cosmic, dude.
But I dig it, man.
**puff puff**
8. I’d use all my blood, sweat and wild imagination just to get next to your arms, punkin muffin.
Love is free but I’d really like to buy that guy’s lust. How much will it cost? I’ll buy it. The time is all we’ve lost. I’ll try it..
It says “Make pudding not custard.” Far out!
9. I’m grateful to be stuck in my head ’cause there’s a bad vibe rising in Jefferson’s Airplane. But that’s okay, ’cause Joe Cocker said I could get by with a little arm porn pics from my friends. (Via Twitter)
10. Oh, by the way, your head is on fire. But I dig it.
… like this. WOOF! And geeez. (Of course, if I had her ass, I’d definitely get grabbed like that more often. /sigh/)
Yeah, it’s my (other) man Hal Sparks goofing off with Stephanie Miller. Back in the day, Steph was apparently rather unnerved by Hal’s presence, but she seems past that now. Can I just say I’m jealous? (And didja see his arm porn? MMMM …. almost DC level, I’m telling ya.)
photo from here
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