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You gots questions, we gots answers! It’s like replying to all my fan mail but you get to see it.

Gentle reader Jody said:
For what it’s worth — all joking aside, which I am moderately loathe to do — you’re ACTUALLY in love with David Cook.

Not-so-Gentle Snarkstress answers:
Puhlease! In love with David Cook? Me? Oh honey, I am but a piker when it comes to the Cookie love! Check out this chick who has a blog titled “David Cook ruined my life”:

oh, hi, best shirt ever.

i stood next to him while he had it on.

i managed, i think, three syllables.

“hi” was one.

“thanks, dave,” were the other two.

if you’ve ever looked at this blog, you can probably surmise i am a fairly verbose individual. however, in the presence of that dude? complete loss of perspicacity. my friend had to literally steer me into his arms.

RUINED.

(but omg omg omg i met david cook! *flails*)

See? I didn’t go silent in his presence – I stuttered. True love = silence. Some sort of inappropriate lust = stuttering. (I do love him, though. Shhh. It’s our secret!)

And now, The Gal asks:
Do you like the arms better when they’re sweaty? I ask this as a Springsteen fan. I’m always hotter for the arms after he’s swung a guitar for an hour (or two).

Hmmm, a sheen of sweat is nice, it’s true. I will take those arms any damn way I can. Or someone with arms that nice. Honestly, how do you even explain arm porn to someone? I tried once and felt like a dumbass because he was all “Arms? You like his arms?” and I was all “Yeah.” and he was all “they’re just arms, dude.” and I was all “Yeah. I know. But they’re his arms.”

Gal seems to be very curious these days and asks another question:
Why Maddie Hayes?

Surely, we all remember the television show “Moonlighting” with Cybil Shepherd and Bruce Willis? I have always been a fan girl so back in the 80s, I was really into it (and “Thirtysomething” but let’s not go there.). My friend Charlie and I had the code names for each other: He was David Addison (the Bruce Willis character) and I was, of course, Madelyn Hayes (Cyb’s character). We still call each other that to this day. Because we are dorks like that. In other dorkitude news, the love of my life in my early 30′s was named Donald so he was “Hollinger” (from the show That Girl) and I was “Ann Marie”. When we have the occasion to talk these days, we always go by Hollinger and AM. I’m a nickname kind of chick. What can I say?

And again with the questions, that Gal:

RE: My post on reading Twilight:

Is Edward played by Patterson in the movie? I see him on every magazine cover these days (along with Jon and Kate and various Jacksons). You’re right, he’s no Cookie. Too skinny and ephemeral. I bet you wouldn’t look twice at those arms.

Yep, the picture above is the aforementioned Edward and you know, even before I saw it, I pictured him that way. He is no Cookie but you can’t be all hunky and whatnot and be a vampire. I think those two are mutually exclusive. Vampires must be, by definition, ephemeral. Plus, if they had the arm porn, people would be trying to bite THEM and that’s just not the natural order of things!

That’s all the time we have for questions today, kids. If the other reader of this blog (whomever you may be) wants to ask a question to be answered at a later date, have at it. Otherwise, it’s all blather all the time.