I got good babyholding in today and he barely screamed. He was a bit unhappy that I didn’t know the routine of feeding, burping and feeding some more. I got one good burp from him but that was it. Oh well. I tried. As I told Gal in an email, Duty looks at Peterbella as if he (Peter) holds the secrets to the Universe. It’s really very sweet to see him bonding with the baby in that way. We had a nice brunch out with the family at a restaurant with most excellent and professional waiters. Food was yummy and company was good. All in all, a lovely way to spend Godmommy Round 2 Day. (Miss my Goddaughter of Love especially today.)
“Readings for Hope” is going very well. So far, donations are up to $145! :-) Nice, eh? I am really having trouble putting the offer out to people because I don’t want anyone to think I’m spamming them or anything. Mostly, I’ve sent it to friends and asked if they knew anyone who might be interested, would they please forward. I also am doing a reading for Nancy who runs a wonderful blog that uses an astrological lens to view political happenings. Nancy did an astrological reading for me a few months back and was very interested and curious about what I did and how I did it. (My answer: I take dictation from Spirit Guides. That’s about it. heh) This will be fun! I’m looking forward to it.
That’s all the haps from here. Stopped by the graveyard to say hi to Mom and Grandmom. I did ask Mom why I don’t hear from her much and she spoke to me pretty clearly: “Lisa, I am right here all the time. You just aren’t listening!” heh That’s my mom, alright. I’ll have to tune into her frequency more. Lauren’s frequency is like a pre-set radio station. Mom’s is off the beaten path a bit so I’ll have to work on the tuneage. (Grandma just comes barging in whenever I talk to mediums. That’s always hilarious.)
Happy Mother’s Day to all who share their love and energy with the young ones – kids, pets, whatever shows up in your life.
Sunday Stealing: The Question Meme
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
Well, *I* think it’s serious but neither Sparkela nor Cookie will return my calls so perhaps I am misguided in thinking this. I’ll let you know later.
02) What was your dream growing up?
To be thin because I believed (mistakenly, as it turns out) that your life is perfect if you are thin.
03) What talent do you wish you had?
I’d love to be able to draw reasonably well. I can barely eke out stick people and have no ability to envision something in my head and bring that vision to life on paper or computer.
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
Well, since you asked, I’d love a cosmo, please. That drink just blots out all the crap in my brain and leaves a nice residue of ahhhhh! for me to enjoy.
05) Favorite vegetable?
I like broccoli. And tomatoes. Corn is nice, too. (Don’t make me choose.)
06) What was the last book you read?
All the way through? That’s a toughie since I read a lot of non-fiction and skim through it for stuff that interests me. It probably was “Breaking Dawn” – the last in the Twilight series.
07) What zodiac sign are you?
See #5? I have trouble deciding things. That makes me a very typical Libra. All about balance, I am.
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
My ears are double pierced but I never wear the second set. No tattoos but contemplating one in memory of my Goddaughter of Love.
09) Worst Habit?
Singing to my pets. I don’t think they are very fond of it. I make up songs about food or walking up the steps or really anything. I’m pretty sure they put up with me for the treats.
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
Do you look anything like David Cook or Hal Sparks? How about Jon Hamm? If so, I might be inclined to pull over.
11) What is your favorite sport?
LOVE hockey! Cannot watch other sports now as they are just too damn slow.
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
I am POP-timistic – mostly optimistic for others but at times pessimistic for myself. If you were to hang out with me, I think you’d find me mostly cheerful and optimistic.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
I don’t know you but I’m pretty sure I’d look to you to commiserate with me about being stuck.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
Losing Lauren to cancer. She was like my own child and best friend wrapped into one and while it’s mellowed a bit now, there’s not one damn day I don’t think of her or miss her so. I can’t wait to see her again when I am on the other side.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
Just one? Hmmmm. I can sleep just fine with four cats sleeping on top of me. In fact, I think I sleep better that way than without them.
16) Do you have any pets?
Currently, we have two cats (Lucie and Sophia) and one (healing up from his April chomp) dog named Max. My kiddies.
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
I’d be very annoyed. First, I don’t know you and second, I really hate visitors – especially drop-in ones. The house is always a dreadful cluttery mess and I don’t want anyone to see that.
18) What was your first impression of me?
Well, you seem nice but a bit nosey.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
I don’t like clowns overly. And most especially NOT Pennywise. EEK.
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
I’d lose the chubs. Tired, so tired of fighting it.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
Is it possible to be both? I’d join in on the fun but I’d take pains that we didn’t get in a whole lot of trouble. (There’s that Libran balance thing again.)
22) What color eyes do you have?
The kind that change color if I’m crying or something – they’re mostly hazel/brownish/greenish.
23) Ever been arrested?
No and if I did now it most likely would be for some peace demonstration or something like that.
24) Bottle or can soda?
I think canned soda has a really icky, metallic taste. Much prefer bottles.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Pay off my credit card and send money to my Aunties.
26) What’s your favorite place to hang out?
The couch. Isn’t that sad?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
Without question. Yes, I do. They don’t scare me unless they are demon ones and then I’ll call in the big boys (Archangel Michael and his crew) to do the heavy lifting out of my zone. So far, have not had that experience and don’t want it.
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Fart around. Write. Read. Pet my kitties. Mostly, fart around.
29) Do you swear a lot?
Depends on where I am and who I am with. You know I feel comfortable with you if the F word comes out.
30) Biggest pet peeve?
People who don’t pay attention. Like those who wait until their groceries are all rung up and bagged before they pull out their checkbook or wallet. Yes, you really do have to pay for all that stuff. I’m the kind of person who has the check all written out ahead of time and/or has my debit card at the ready.
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Sweet. (And dorky and 12)
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
I do but not the syrupy “Schmoopy” kind of thing. When we first dated, Duty would sit on the same side of the booth with me at restaurants. I hated that. HATED IT. I don’t like feeling all crowded in. But I love when he brings me flowers at work and tries to sneak out or when he does little sweet things.
33) Favorite and least favorite food?
Love mashed potatoes and hate liver (although I’ve never had it. The idea of it grosses me out.)
34) Do you believe in God?
Without question. But not the idea of a God who hands out presents to the good ones or punishes you for some sin you committed. I believe in a Universal oneness and we are all a part of that. There are many, many life paths and lessons along the way and we are infinitely supported by the Universe in learning those lessons. Bottom line – I believe in a force greater than all of us. I see it every single day and I am glad to be a part of it all.
Today’s Sunday Stealage was a long-ass one and some of the questions were sorta mundane so I picked the ones that I thought would most amuse me you and perhaps share some new info that you might not know about me. Let’s see if I can get through this without mentioning Cookie, Hal, coffee, cats, woo-woo or books, K?
Here we go:
Are you happy? More or less. I think I will always find something to be dissatisfied with and grumble about it (inside my head usually) but overall, I have a good life.
Are you bored? At the moment, yes, despite having a house full of books, toys and other fun stuff. It’s an inside boredom that cannot be assuaged by something outside me – this is a lesson I have yet to fully learn.
Are you naked? The only time I am nekkid is when I’m in the shower and I’m pretty sure they haven’t invented a computer you can take in the shower *YET* so, no.
Are you a blonde? Parts of my (formerly lovely raven color) hair are now blondish highlights. I miss my natural hair color.
Are you moody? While I’d like to pretend I’m not, I really am. Mostly, I keep it inside but you can tell when I’m not chirpy or cheerful that something is going on underneath. I get real quiet.
Are you a lover/hater? I’m a woo-woo chick (oops! Lost my bet from the opening paragraph! damn) so full of the love and not of the hate. There are those people/things I dislike greatly but I don’t run around carrying the hate. It only hurts you in the long run.
Are you hot/cold? “Cause you’re hot then you’re cold /You’re yes then you’re no /You’re in and you’re out /You’re up and you’re down”
Nicknames:: Lis, Minister of Fun, Mrs. Cook, (oops, there’s one for Cookie), Sweetie, Dolt
Favorite color: Take a look at this blog and you’ll know.
Do you believe in love at first sight? No, but I do believe in immediate attraction.
Do you believe in soul mates? I do, but not necessarily in the romantic sense. A true soul mate is one who helps your soul do the work you came to do and encourages growth. That could be the person who challenges you most in this lifetime. I consider Cousin/who/hates/me a soul mate of sorts because by engaging with her, I’ve grown a lot in my own beliefs and ability to stand up for them in the face of ridicule.
Have you ever been hurt emotionally? I defy you to find me ONE PERSON who has not been hurt emotionally. It’s part of the human experience and it’s also one of the ways we grow the most.
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Probably although that would never been my intent going into anything.
Have you ever been cheated on? Yes, and those experiences have taught me to always, ALWAYS trust my inner knowing.
Have you ever liked someone and not told them? I’m pretty sure Cookie and Hal (oops!) are completely and utterly unaware that I adore them. Wait, I did fling myself into Hal’s arms at this last show and tell him I love him so scratch that one. Cookie, though, blissfully unaware I’m sure.
Are you afraid of commitment? I would say I still have some residual trust issues that make it difficult for me to fully open up. There are very, very few who know the real me.
Who was the last person you hugged? Duty when he surprised me by showing up at work Friday when he wasn’t due home from SC until mid-day Saturday. One of the FEW times he’s surprised me like that – he usually manages to give it away somehow.
Who was the last person you kissed? Sophia (my cat) … oh wait. You said PERSON … Duty, of course.
Love or lust? Both and in large quantities, please. Lust is especially fun!
Cats or dogs? While I love me some doggies, I most resonate with cat energy and plan to always have one or more in my home.
A few best friends or many regular friends? I’d rather have just one or two close friends. I keep a tight circle.
Television or internet? Internets, hands down. Especially now when you can see pretty much anything that was on television online soon after.
Chinese Or Indian? I love Indian food. Haven’t had it for a long time but mmmmm Chicken tikka marsala!
Wild night out or romantic night in? I haven’t had either in many, many years so either one might be fine. If I had to choose, it’d be the romantic night in.
Money or Happiness? Money eases worries and helps bring happiness but money doesn’t equal happiness. So, having to choose one? Happiness, hands down.
Night or day? Both have their merits. I like a sunny day, though. Makes me feel happy to be alive. The night is good for under the covers and reading.
Been skinny dipping? No, and I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed in this lifetime for me unless the cats want to get their dip on and that’s unlikely.
Stolen? Yes, I am sad to say. And for no other reason than I could. It’s not like I needed that stuff.
Lied to someone you liked? Yes. Often to my mother. I didn’t want to get in trouble for stuff I had done so I took the “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her” approach. And yes, I know. Not a good thing to do.
Wanted an ex bf/gf back? Yeah, but mostly because I was sad they left me.
Cried because you lost a pet? I’ve shed more tears over losing my cats than I have for almost any person (Lauren and my parents aside). They are so close to my heart.
Wanted to disappear? More than I can (and should) go into on this blog. I’m having one of those “I don’t want to hang out with myself” days,weeks,months years.
Have you:
Ever performed in front of a large crowd? I’ve given speeches, does that count?
Ever done drugs? Nope, not a one. I’d like to try something before I die but I’ll probably like it and end up an 80 year old drug addict.
Ever been pregnant? Yes.
Ever been on a cheer leading team? They don’t let sad little chubby girls on those things.
Ever been on a sports team? No and I really have no concept of how to work together as a team in something like that. I always marvel at how players on a team just seem to know intuitively what to do, where their teammate will be on the field, etc. It’s interesting to me.
Four years ago Lauren closed her eyes to this world and opened them to another. There are truly no words to describe how much our whole family misses her. I don’t know just how she did it but she managed to understand people on a deep soul level. She made them feel seen, understood and loved.
While I was thinking of what to put in this post, I came across some cards she had given me over the years and thought it would be a nice visual for you guys to see how special she made me feel. There are a few Eddie Izzard references in there, a hockey reference (dare you to find it) and one goofing on her very own mom, Cousin O’Love for wearing a pajama top out in public. (Not on purpose, I don’t think!)
Lauren had a very sweet and gentle spirit, full of love and light. She encouraged me in all my woo-woo activities because she knew what was in my heart and trusted that. We were partners in crime, permanently twelve years old (and don’t you know she would have gladly gone with me to see David Cook just because) and soul sisters from many, many lives together.
I wish she were still here for a million reasons (not all of them selfish),but I know that when I close my eyes here and wake up there, she will be waiting for me with arms wide open.
On this day, I celebrate and honor all that Lauren’s life meant to me and to many others and send out a beam of yellow light to Cousin O’Love, La’s dad Steve and Artsy McFartsy herself. Life isn’t the same without her, is it?
“With every goodbye you learn ….â€
As you may or may not know, the entire Atlantic seaboard was blizzarded upon and we have (at last count) about two feet of snow outside. Peeps are all a’twitter on Twitter about it and I’m using it as an excuse to sit around and do nothing of note. (What’s that, you say? I don’t ever need an excuse to do that? Oh, well. Alrighty then.) So, in honor of Snowpocalypse 2010, here’s my Saturday 9.
Saturday 9: I Started a Joke
1. Tell us a joke that you think is funny. If you don’t tell jokes tell us why.
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?? NACHO CHEESE! hahahah
2. Where do you buy most of your clothes?
Wherever I find something that I like. All over the place, usually. Always looking for bargains at Coldwater Creek.
3. Which famous person would you like to meet? Why?
How cool would it be to have a party with Hal and Cookie? My head (and parts) would ‘plode, that’s for sure. Just to spend time chatting with Hal and listening to Cookie sing and laugh. My impression of Nirvana.
4. What is your ultimate ambition?
To conquer the world! And beyond! Then, drink a lot of coffee with cream.
5. Do you like to live in the area of your country or would you prefer something a little different?
I like where I live … near the water, near the city. Pretty calm and peaceful.
6. Has a newspaper or television reporter ever interviewed you? If so, what were the circumstances and what did you think when you read or saw what you said?
Nope, don’t think they have. Well, my friend Charlie is a reporter and he’s asked me questions so does that count? No? Poots.
7. What was the last CD/mp3 album that you purchased? How did you like it?
Matt Nathanson’s Some Mad Hope – saw him open for Cookie in VA Beach in July and he was great! Wonderful singer/songwriter.
8. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
I can’t make you love me/Bonnie Raitt, Sweetest Taboo/Sade, Make Me/MWK, Wish you were here/Incubus, and for the wonderfully angelic Goddaughter of Love – Float On/Modest Mouse
9. Do you or your partner usually begin intimacy?
What is this intimacy you speak of? I know not what that is. I suspect it is sorely lacking in the life of a Snarkela.
Saturday 9: Everybody is a Star
1. Did you ever think that you’d be a star? If yes, doing what?
Nope, I never did. I don’t think I have the thick skin it takes to be out in front of anything. I’m content not being a star. Truly.
2. Tell us about the last time you had a romantic dinner.
I don’t know if my memory goes that far back. (sigh)
3. Tell us about your worst job interview.
I interview pretty well so most of them were good although I did have one where I left shaking my head thinking I did awful. Come to find out, the bossman was quite impressed with me. I got the job but it was the worst 4 months of my life until I just left. I should have stayed with my gut feeling that it wasn’t the place for me. I found out the hard way.
4. Tell us about your stupidest date.
Let’s see – perhaps it was the one where the guy told me that he drove a stick shift because “women like the feel of a hard knob in their hand” – Oh my fucking God! He really did say that. This was in high school so perhaps I can cut him some slack. Still. Yikes!
5. How much in common do you think you should have with a romantic partner?
Oh, I don’t know. It all depends on the person. Ideally, I’d love to have lots in common with a potential romantic partner. For me, as long as we have similar values (or good enough bed thrashing wherein we did not discuss differing political views, for example), I’m okay with that.
6. Tell us about a favorite meme that you loved but no longer post.
I think I spent a year doing Thursday 13′s and loved it but ran out of ideas and got annoyed at others who posted shite like “13 things on my desk”. So, I bailed for a few years. Now and again, I may pick one but I think I prefer the memes like this and the Sunday Stealing ones that ask interesting questions.
7. How did you get into blogging?
The one and only Goddaughter of Love got me into it wayyy back in 2002. She said “I think you’ll like this.” and as usual, was right. If she were still walking the earth plane, she’d be blogging right alongside me.
8. Do you share all your fantasies with a significant other?
I have a very rich inner life and there are few who get invited into that space. If you do, consider yourself a very significant other indeed.
9. What change in your life would you like to happen this year?
The shift I am most hoping for (and working toward) is learning how to balance my mind and body. I am lopsided – leaning toward the mind portion so working on creating a balance between the two where we all live happily ever after.
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
I fasted for twelve days in January and it was amazingly easy. Which just goes to show that when I set my mind to achieving something, I can do it. It’s the mind-setting that is the hard part for me. I tried it again in February and really half-assed it and blew it seven days in.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I’m not sure I made any other than the fasting and I did keep that one. I always make one or two of them so I’ll come up with something, I’m sure.
3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Goofing around online, most likely. I don’t have any plans because I like to stay alive and drunken asshats make that hard.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My oldest aunt passed away in June. My other two aunts and I flew to Indiana for her funeral and it was a lovely remembrance of her life.
5. What countries did you visit?
Is Colorado a country? (hah Is it?) Didn’t go out of the US this year but did go to Oklahoma, Indiana and Colorado.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Discipline, David Cook singing to me and only me (preferably naked (him, not me)), some Christmas spirit, 40 hours a week and the paycheck that goes along with it and a thriving woo-woo practice.
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 3, 2009 - my first DC concert where I was smooshed up against the stage, so close that had I brought out my inner perve, I could have had a field day touching him. I sang so hard and so loud that I had no voice for three days after but damn, it was worth it. One of the best days of my life.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
As mentioned, my 12 day fast. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that good in my body. Strong, clear … just awesome. I also walked a 5k in May with a bunch of other DC fans. That was something I hadn’t planned on but was glad I did.
9. What was your biggest failure?
When I fell off my wagon (fasting) and realized it was more fun to just binge eat, I totally went for it and gained back all the weight I lost plus. I finish the year feeling like Pudge McGee and am really, heartbreakingly unhappy about it all.
That, and I didn’t bring out my inner perve and cop a feel off DC. (It was the closest I’d get to him all year and if I had known that, I might have.)
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Fortunately, despite my snarfing, I have a very healthy immune system. My body is in good shape besides there being too much of it.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
New bras that showed off my awesome ta-ta’s to their best advantage. It was great.
12. Where did most of your money go?
For a while there, on new bras! hah (Damn, good ones are expensive!) Then it went to paying bills.
13. What song will always remind you of 2009?
It’s not one you’d know – it’s “Make Me” by MWK (a band Dave played with a bit before Idol.) MWK co-founders Neal & Andy are in his band now and they bust this song out every once in a while. I think it’s the most played song on my Itunes list. Love the line “Make me fall for you // as if I had nothing else to do” – (I secretly think Neal is a poser but he does write some kick ass lyrics.)
14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I’m so sorry but I cannot divulge this as it’s classified information. Your life would be in danger and I would hate to put you in that position. Definitely shared on a need-to-know basis and only one person would need to know that and that person is well aware of it. (At least I think they are!)
15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Cryptic answers like the one above. Well, YOU wish I’d done less of it, right? LOL
For reals, I wish I had not run amok with food.
16. What was your favourite TV program?
This year I was totally into “Mad Men” and “Dexter” along with staples like “Intervention”. Cousin O’Cool has recommended “True Blood” and I’m starting that series as soon as Netflix gets its ass in gear. She said Season 2 was pretty close to porn and I’m all about the porn (vampire or not).
17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I really don’t hate anyone. There are a few I prefer not to spend time with but I don’t hate anyone. (Dick Cheney, if I had to name names but I’ve “hated” him all along so that’s nothing new. Man is pure evil, in my opinion.)
18. What was the best book you read?
I did tear through the “Twilight” saga this year and while I can’t say they were well written, they were decent enough to pull me though four books the size of bricks. I enjoyed the ride. Just don’t name your damn baby Renesmee.
19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Awww, you know the answer to that one! I also took a liking to Matt Nathanson after seeing him open for Cookie. He was awesome in concert. Funny and sexy and just cool.
20. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don’t see many movies in the theatre so it’s hard to say. I enjoyed “Julie and Julia” and am looking forward to seeing “Up in the air” (despite my strong aversion to anything with smarmy George Clooney in it) and “Blindsided”. Oh wait, I watched “The Proposal” and really, really enjoyed it.
21. What did you do on your birthday?
Some fam and I went to Buca diBeppo’s in Washington right before my birthday and that was a nice celebration.
22. What kept you sane?
Visits to Cooklandia, the internets, and most especially, Cousin O’Cool who, despite being 18 years younger than me, is like the big sister I never had. She’s awesome – funny, smart, really snarky and very grounded. I love her lots.
23. Who did you miss?
Always miss my Lauren. Not one day … seriously, not. one. day. goes by when I don’t think of her. I also missed my mom and grandma.
24. Who was the best new person you met?
My friend Areti whom I met at the Pathways Expo in October. I hope we get to be good buddies in 2010.
25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
To really, truly effect change, I have to shift stuff in the physical world – it’s not enough to just think about it or ponder it. I have to actually take steps to move into it.
Oh, and touch David Cook while you can because you might not get another chance. heh
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