The infamous BSOD on your desktop computer at work.
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Of course, this is what I found so my morning started off rather chaotically and didn’t get much better from there. Got my hair done tonight (a 3 hour deal) and we had a HUGE ass storm so I’m only now getting caught up on my stuff. A total waste of a day, actually. I accomplished little. As Miss Scarlett would say: “Oh well, tomorrow’s another day.” And so it is.
More later.
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So, yeah. It’s (almost) Friday. I’m glad. Maybe this week of WTF will be at a close. The only good thing I can say is that I have done 15 mins on the bike each day. Duty just had to shame me into it once.
On the dissonance front: it continues. However, after lots of chats with my guides and input from friends here (thanks Jody and Gal) and from my woo-woo buds at Democratic Underground, I’m going with this possibility: It’s their weird shit to deal with and I’m just the one noticing it. That works for me. Duty gave me some advice when I was whining about it last night: Let it go. And while that’s not my preferred way of handling things, it IS something new for me so I’ll try it.
I’m using my copious down-time at work to write a post for PI on ceding authority to your Guides in Spirit and how they wouldn’t let you do that anyway. It’s a response to Rose’s post where I talk about what my experience has been in that arena. I’m also practicing my own self-authority by not worrying if people think I’m a slack ass or not and giving thanks that I have a job where I have lots of independence. I’ll let you guys know when the post is up (probably this weekend).
And one last comment: Since I fell in love with sekrit boyfriend, anyone else after that seems so fake. I think my heart is closed to all but DC and HS (and I’m not even sure how Hal managed to get in there! Brains, arm porn and humor carry a lot of weight with some chicks. heh) Watching Idol is so lame, even *I* don’t know why I’m doing it. Poseurs, all of them. But not my cookie!
Happy Friday to my blog buddies! I luf you all!
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(insert random whining about job and soul-killing properties)
Today’s highlight was receiving a call from someone who couldn’t be bothered to write down the phone number of the person he was trying to contact because (get this) he was on a yacht in the middle of the sea and didn’t have something to write with. WTF? First off, do they not give you pointy implements on yachts these days? Second, if you own (or know someone who owns) a yacht, isn’t it possible you are wealthy enough to have an iPhone on which you can plunk the digits? And finally, is it necessary for you to tell me that you are on a yacht in the first damn place? I am so in the wrong field. Money and the status that comes with it don’t impress me one fucking iota.
Anyway, I am so petty that stuff like that annoys me. I often feel like I spend a lot of time at work being annoyed (or quite possibly, annoying others). I like to think I’m mostly fun to be around but once in a while I get really ranty and spout off. (I know, hard to believe, innit? heh) Since I’ve been taking one particular animal essence combination (called Supreme Confidence) I notice that I can feel anger but I don’t have the tears along with it. That’s new for me. Like many women, when I get angry, I cry. Earlier this week, there was an event that really just pissed me off and I was angry. I didn’t even feel tears or anything like I usually do. Just the anger. It abated, of course, but I observed that it wasn’t the same feeling of sadness combined with feeling helpless. I think I have been speaking up at home also because Duty told me last week that I was a bit ‘mouthy’ of late. (He meant it in a nice-ish way. I think.) And I realized that I had been taking some of that essence. Interesting, no?
Which reminds me – I still need to write about that weekend. And I will but probably ’round about the time I head to Charlottesville for Level 2 (in the fall). Very hard to put words to an energetic event like that.
Cheers to a less annoying Friday for all!
… but that doesn’t stop me from posting! Oh no it doesn’t! I gots all kinds of disjointed, go-nowhere thoughts such as:
Had baby-holding fail today: went to visit the Godson of Love who really should be re-named “Screamy McScreamerson”, bless his bitty 3 week old heart. I can tell that it’s going to be some work to get in some good holding with him. But, that’s the work of a Godmom, yes? (And he is so damn cute. Button nose and all. I loves him.)
Lunch with good friend Charlie FTW!! We had fun talking and talking and talking on Saturday. I feel like I’ve known him forever and I have, just about. It was such big fun that we are doing it again in May!
Movies from Netfilx I’ve started watching but gave up on:
1. Network - I know it’s prescient and shit and I get that it’s one of “the great ones” but I thought it sucked ass and I made it about an hour in and just gave up. I despised Faye Dunaway in it – I think she won an Oscar for the performance but I really thought it was just fake, fake, fake. Blargh.
2. Capitalism, a love story – I like and respect Michael Moore (I have to, it’s rule number 4 in the “How to be a Good Liberal” Handbook) but this movie depressed the shit out of me. Made it about 45 mins on this one. It just reminds me of how horrid things were/are and I can go down that hole any day of the week.
I dunno. It seems as if the movie is acclaimed and a success, I probably won’t like it. It’s a rare one that gets me to the theatre anymore. I didn’t like “Up in the Air” but that could be due to my intense dislike of smarmy-ass George Clooney. Who knows? I think I should stick to television shows although I gave up on two from Netflix as well: Breaking Bad (first ep depressed me) and The Wire – watched two eps and those left me confused. Maybe I’m not as intelligent as I think I am. Maybe, just maybe, watching American Idol has turned my brain to mush. Hmm, ponderables.
Oh, and I can’t watch any of those hoarding shows either – they don’t do any discussion (or at least not very much) of the pathology of the problem. Intervention gives you good backstory so you know why the subject is into drugs hardcore. (I remember one dude who grew up with a mother who had many miscarriages. She kept the miscarried fetuses in a jar in the closet and took them out from time to time to torture him and his sister. I have to say I cannot blame this man for turning to drugs. That is hellish, isn’t it?) Thing is, I need to know WHY they are doing this hoarding and that is never really answered. Also too, I look around my room and realize that some might think I have a similar issue to which I say NO! I can still see the floor and stuff so shut up with your hoarding interventions and scoot! You won’t find any half eaten cheese sammiches in my bedroom. Just piles of books and clothes. And dust. Occasionally a cat.
Dreams have been hella busy and weird since I got back from the animal essences workshop two weeks ago. Recently, I dreamed I had sex with sekrit boyfriend #2 (Hal) but I didn’t remember it – just remembered he told me about it. Can you imagine how disappointed I was? Hearing about having sex with Hal is not the same at all as remembering the actual sex-having. Damn dreams.
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Oh, three (3) readers, it’s been such a chaotic week. I’m not even sure how to put it all into words. But I’ll try.
We had to take Pirate Doggie of Love back because she got into a fight with Max and he didn’t fare so well. He’s okay but suffered some fairly serious wounds to his head, snout and neck. It breaks my heart into pieces to see the sweetest dog in the whole world wounded like this. Last night, when I got home from work, I saw Duty had brought home a big bag of treats for the doggies so I gave them each one. PDOL snarfed hers and apparently decided to see what droppings Max was leaving. Next thing you know, there’s this hellish sound. I run into the sunroom and PDOL is standing over top of Max biting him. Duty ran in and we managed to separate them but Max was bleeding quite a bit.
After taking Max to the emergency vets and getting some antibiotics and stuff and making sure he was okay (if a lot beaten up looking), I returned home and Duty and I decided together that PDOL couldn’t stay. She already had a run-in with the neighbor dog but I thought that was about her being tired. So, this was twice in two days and that didn’t bode well for the future.
The good news is that the nice lady we got her from was able to arrange a good foster home for PDOL where there are no other pets. I think that’s gonna be a key factor in her being able to stay with someone. She had a sweet heart but just couldn’t get along with even as docile a dog as Max. Duty took her over there today and the house is somewhat back to normal. Max is looking pretty ragged but at least he’s hanging out downstairs with us now and he’s made friends with Duty again. I gave PD a big, big hug this morning and asked the angels to watch over her.
I feel like my whole world went topsy-turvey since last Friday and now, with a big, deep breath, I can return to status quo. Between the two day class in Charlottesville last week and the bad stuff with the doggies, I am exhausted. For reals, y’all. Not only that, but I sucked on my AI picks and plummeted from first place to fourth in my pool. Quelle horreur!
Will write more about the weekend after I catch my breath. It was great and I learned a lot. And let me tell you, when you’re doing a meditation about buffalo energy and you decide instead to wander off (astrally speaking), don’t be surprised when the buffalo “assists” you with getting right back into your body. Just sayin.
Hugs to my Gal for a sweet, encouraging email about PD and Max this am. Here’s a Hamster of love for you:
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Remember my other “Oh hell, I’m in a fog” post? I’m there again, a mere fifteen days later. Not even floaties last night could help. Outside of one thing going on that I can’t control, stuff is fine so I don’t know what the damn fog is all about. Work has been very busy and somewhat stressful but we’re on the down side of the week so that’s probably not it. I just feel … foggy. And grumpy. Nothing is making me happy at all. (Except whining which I do so love, as you know.) My two-year old was buying things again (a book and a new mouse) which is usually an indication that she’s not happy. Might be time to have a chat with her. Usually, floaties make her happy but that didn’t do it at all last night. (sigh)
Announcement: Cousin O’Cool and husband have asked me and Duty to be new baby’s godparents! WHEEE!! Duty has accepted this with a vengeance and has taken to calling himself “The Godfather” and told me in no uncertain terms yesterday that I cannot append the (boy) baby’s name with Bella.
(Backstory, Cousin O’Cool was hardcore into the Twilight series and got me reading it. When she announced she was pregnant, I was sure (SURE!) it was a girl and that she must be called Bella. But, uh, not a girl or else it’s a girl with a dangly bit. At any rate, I planned to call him (whatever name they choose)Bella. (Like: Peterbella or JoeBella … you get the idea.) Cousin loves and indulges my whimsy but not THE GODFATHER. (Since he doesn’t read this here blog, I’ll mention off the cuff that he has what we will call “gender issues” – going completely nuts if they put a bow on Max or something. See? Issues.))
So, I plan to call my baby (something)Bella just not in front of The Godfather Duty. (tee hee) Debut of (name)Bella? End of this month. There is baby-holding in my future and you know how happy that makes me. (Happy Happy Joy Joy)
I missed some good memeage over at Gal’s so I plan to be stealing from her soon. Glad she’s in a happy posting mood. I need some creative juice. (Where can I buy that in a bottle?)
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It’s Sunday night and I’m doing a weekend head dump here. Try to slog through as best you can, mmkay?
1. Max is still doing the “Mommy, I want something.” action to me and it is frustrating. I’ve tried to connect with him telepathically and I’m not getting anything upfront. I guess I need to call in my Seminary buddy, Dana, who is a magnificent animal communicator. He just feels all needy to me. Sophia is the only one of my animals who isn’t like that and I’m pretty sure it has to do with my not having raised her.
2. Interesting coincidence(?) on Facebook – I have been following a cool weather site made up of meteorology students who have been doing a kick ass job of forecasting the MD weather this winter and follow their FB feed. They recently posted about rain coming and there were about 80 comments under that post. The first one on the list was the name of a guy I adored in college. We worked together at a local department store and also attended Towson State at the same time. I messaged him and sure enough, it was he. Married now (for 25 years!) to the woman I tried desperately to steal him from with one daughter they adopted from China. It’s just really neat to re-connect with him again after so long. He was smart, funny and I just genuinely liked him.
3. That led me to think of a mutual friend we had who I haven’t talked to in forever and sure enough, she was on FB also! I got to chat with her a bit and find out she’s had a rough couple years with breast cancer. She and I were very tight back in the early 80s – she also worked at that same department store – and shared a lot of life challenges. I’m glad to see her again.
4. Hockey on a hi-def 46″ television set is amazing!! It is much easier to see, for one thing, plus I get to watch as the players blow snot out of their nose while on the bench. This, my friends, is what HD was made for! heh
5. I rented the show “Breaking Bad” from Netflix and watched part of the first episode but it left me feeling very sad. I couldn’t finish it. Maybe my meds need to be upped in order to watch it but I’m not sure I want to even finish that ep. I felt sad and hopeless after just 30 minutes of it. (Energetic shields UP!)
6. I briefly thought about giving up complaining for Lent but realized I’d have to tape my mouth shut and this blog would go silent for 40 days. (Also too – not a big Lent follower but I did give some thought to it this year.)
7. As much as I seem to you all like some crazed stalker Cookie fan, believe me when I tell you that my engagement in that world is about a 2 on a scale of 10. I’m glad there are hardcore fans because through them I get lots of goodies: videos, articles and more.
Okay, that’s all the ponders for now.
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