Yes, I know I spend a tad too much time haunting the Palin blogs but this was HILARIOUS! It’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking coffee when I watched it because I would have had to get a whole new laptop. You MUST watch! (Don’t be slurping anything, though.)
Doc visit Wednesday – that was fun (not). Endometrial biopsy – results next week. He didn’t think it looked to be anything to be worried about but wanted to be sure. The biopsy itself wasn’t overly fun – the aftermath, though, weird. Something called “vasovagel reaction” which involved profuse sweating, near-passing out and for me, this very odd completely-out-of-my-body feeling. I had to literally coax myself back into my body. The doc was nice and had me lie down and turned down the lights a bit so I could come back to normal but it was hella weird. Not uncommon (according to an interesting menopausal site called “Power Surge” – nice name, eh?) but not fun. All day I felt drained and washed out. Just bleah.
I so wanted to take tomorrow off but since my backup co-worker just returned from 2 weeks on vacation, I didn’t think I should because he has to do his job and mine and when you’re 2 weeks behind, none of that is fun. So, off to work I go.
But a 3 day weekend ahead so wooo-hooo!
Love and kisses,
Snarkela (who is not (at this moment) passing out or sweating)
After some back and forth with gay boyfriend Charlie, I decided that I’d blow past my depression ditch and go to see the Hal tonight. Don’t know what my issue is but I do have one. My depression always manifests as apathy and when I decide to blow off not one but two sekrit boyfriend events, I know I’m in the throes of it.
I really, really want a picture with him because I have (a crappy) one with Cookie so I need a (non-crappy) one with the Hal to round out my collection of stalkings and whatnot.
Heading out to the docs this morning (my own doctor this time who is not as Gorgeous McCuterson as Duty’s is) for some med checks. (I was going to write about it but got bored thinking of it and hell, it’s my own stuff so I’m not gonna bore you all with it.)
Look for a picture (I hope) of me and SB2 to follow. That should (should!) cheer my ass up!
First off, it’s Friday and that alone makes things seem better.
Secondly, the sun is out. Hooray!
I had the day from hell yesterday at work. Most of the time there, things run from slowish to busy but every once in a while, all hell breaks loose and I feel pulled in a million ways. I’ve learned that last bit is one of my BIG triggers. It started the very moment I walked in the door there and didn’t stop until after 4pm. And perhaps it’s a trade-off for the days where I sit there with nothing to do. (Ah! Such a Libran – always seeking the balance.) But when those days hit, I want to scream and throw things.
I think I will put ALL the frigging candy out in one big ass bowl and let people fight among themselves. This shit about begging to look in the bag (again!) is annoying me. It’s not even that so much as their timing in begging is completely off. Can people just once look outside their own self? Damn.
I promise, this is the last time I whine about this candy situation. I’m annoying myself with it and surely you, too. There are lots bigger things in this world for concern – candy begging is such small potatoes. (balance, y’all!)
/rant for week – promise.
Thanks for listening. In the words of Margaret & Helen: “I mean it. Really”.
TEE HEE – this made me laugh right out loud all alone in my house
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
I can see that The Gal is the only one commenting again so I think I will rename this blog “Letters to Gal” and be done with trying to please the other two of you (who refuse to comment). Poots to you all!
Dear Gal,
I’m glad the forbidden panties put you in a small haze. When I see sekrit boyfriend in Charlottesville in two weeks, I’ll see if I can’t throw something up on the stage real high so he has to grab for it. Then, I’ll whip out my trusty camera and take a picture. Perhaps some tighty-whitey magic will appear. You’ll be the first to know.
Did I mention that I am going to see the Goddaughter of Love & Pudge this weekend? I’m excited because it involves baby-holding. I am also excited to officially put my Seminary projects on hold so they aren’t out there taunting me and stuff.
(Sadly, this is the kind of shit I send in emails to people so either be glad I don’t write you and/or I don’t post my emails here. It’s true.)
Excitement of the week: Stacey London (from TLC’s WNTW) twittered me back! Woo-hoo! I can add her to my list that so far only had Hal (mmmm baby) Sparks on it. I’m hitting the big time. Perhaps if I say something complimentary to Cookie, he’ll respond. “Take off that fucking hat” is probably not a lovely introduction, is it? (sigh)
Well, that’s all for now. Hope to hear back from you when you get a chance to write.
Love to my one and only fan,
Me
I typed out a big long explanation of the issue I mentioned in the post below and after reading it all, I decided it was like foreplay that went nowhere. (Which sucks, so I’ve heard.) And it wasn’t even the issue, as much as what’s underneath it.
Here’s the deal: Someone at work “warned” someone else about me (and my woo-woo ways, apparently) saying that “the devil comes in all kinds of disguises” and to that I loudly respond “What the fucking fuck?” Me? Me? I mean, come on, at least pick something that’s in the realm of possibilities. Last I checked, I was busy feeding my birds and squirrels and chatting with the angels. I’m pretty sure that’s not something the devil would do. (Although I hear Hitler was a vegetarian and a painter so who can say?)
Last year I got a variation on it from a family member who spat it out to me in the most hateful email I have ever received. This time around it was from a co-worker and it was said behind my back. I don’t know that I will confront her because it was not said to me directly and I don’t necessarily want to stir that up at work. However, when I was thinking about it today after writing my earlier screed, it came into my consciousness that the reasons behind the comment and the vicious email were very similar. Each person saw me as trying to take someone from them that they loved and needed. And it didn’t matter that it was never my intention to do that nor did that happen. In their world, I am a threat.
So they poked at me with a sharp stick in a place where they knew it would hurt. And it did. My higher self reminds me that this is all about them and their fears: fears of losing their mother (and mother figure), fear of someone being “different” than them, fear of many things. I’d like to shrug it off. Perhaps that is my challenge: how do I handle attacks upon my beliefs and integrity even as I know the reasons behind it?
In the case of the family member, it took me a whole day to decide how to respond to her because I didn’t want to fling the shit right back at her. (Okay, I wanted to do it. I chose not to do it.) In the case of my co-worker, well, I’m not sure about that yet. I can say that any warmth for her (which was on the wane anyway) is gone. I think civility is all she’s entitled to at this point.
I get why both these women attacked me. And understanding that, I’ve worked hard to find a way of relating to them that comes from a place of compassion. But compassion does not equal me accepting their projected bullshit. They can liken me to the devil if they want or whatever it is that they most fear in their life. That doesn’t say one thing about me and everything about them.
So, that’s not much of a rant, is it? But I just had to get that out there for some reason. (I’m tired of writing all the juicy stuff in my journal. Heh)
This has been both a long and short week – know what I mean? It’s flown by in total but the minutes and hours seemed to be dragging while I was in them. Â Might have had something to do with not having my laptop that made me feel so lost. Â I am rather a creature of habit. Â I get up pretty much at the same time and follow the same routine in the morning. Â The day is variable depending on work, appointments or (bleah) house chores. Â The evenings, though, same as the morning. My little routine carries me. I like it that way, mostly.
So, without my laptop in the evening, I’ve been forced to do other things. (Yeah, Universe, I get it.) Â I did start doing a nightly meditation/prayer thing called the “Rainbow Bridge” from the book “Bridge to Superconsciousness”. Â So, that’s something. Â I am still meandering through “Eclipse” though not as quickly as I did “New Moon”. Â I generally don’t watch much television because to quote a Dire Straits er, Bruce Springsteen song: “57 channels and nothing’s on”. (Thanks for the correction, Gal. And yes, I’d be all over your ass confusing Cookie with Yamin! Teh Horror! heh)
Neighbor Greg came through and managed to jimmy up my laptop cord and get it to work and also put rubber tubing around the outside of the cord so my mangling of it won’t affect how it plugs in. Â Yeah, I know. Â I’m rough with my toys. (If you are my toy, you know this to be true! heh) So, we’re back to the usual routine and that’s good. The forced vacation was a good one, though. Â Made me see that there are other things to do besides random surfing, tweeting and watching videos of sekrit boyfriend.
Just as an aside, I think I’m going to test out a day where I get to be angry and spew my crap all over everyone else. Others get to do it. Why can’t I? Why am I always, always, always the one that just has to endure it? And on the rare occasion that I do make my anger known, things get escalated. Â So, I shut down and just move into a whole different space when I get dumped on. Â As someone who not only feels what *I* am feeling, but often can feel what someone else is feeling, it’s like being dumped on twice as much. Â And takes twice as long to move past it. Â I don’t hold grudges because that just saps my energy. Â And yelling back makes me feel worse and mean and stompy. Â What to do, what to do?
(Reminds self that the heavy bag in the garage is good for times like this.)
I think I will take myself up on that offer. Â Either that or yell at idiot caller #430 which might not be a good idea since I like to have money for food and stuff.
Yes, it’s Friday. Thank Goodness.
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Things to which I say Phbbbbbbt!:
1. Going in early to work – takes away from my all important goof-off time in the morning. Yes, I know. It’s just for a couple days until the resident hypochondriac comes back to work. Still. Phbbbbt!
2. Fighting on social networking sites: Kids, don’t do this. Seriously. While it’s great fun to watch from afar, my enjoyment of it means I have to take the bus to hell and that might be frowned upon at the Seminary. Help me help you. And save what’s left of my (im)mortal soul.
3. Hotdogs for dinner – because I’m over sketti. And not even on-the-grill hotdogs but boiled-in-water hotdogs. Isn’t that sad?
4. Michael Jackson’s death – what a spectacle. I am so sick of hearing about it and trust me, I am studiously avoiding any television news (that’s nothing new but still). It is inescapable. Geeeez.
But no Phbbts to Jody for her sweet and concerned comments – girlfriend, I am always angsty about some-thing. It’s just part of who I am. And I do often “take a minute just to breathe …” but those are not very exciting to write about on this here blog.
And no Phbbts to The Gal because she understands my random and mysterious baby lust in her heart. Mostly now I am content to hold babies and then give them back to their owners and go read a book. I did, however, ask my darling 8 year old neighbor “Miss Emma” for a hug today and she came and sat in my lap and we loved on each other. It was most awesome and just what was needed.
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