Some holiday whining ahead but it’s not anything major.
And, as a bonus for you, I’ll do it in bulleted form. (you’re welcome.)
1. I completely and utterly misunderstood Duty when he said this about ‘those shoes‘: “If I ask you something, can you not ask questions about it? Can you wait until after Christmas to get those shoes?” Silly me. I thought he was saying that Santa would bring them. So when really nice lady at work who loves to buy me expensive presents (because she can) asked me if I still wanted those shoes, I told her that Duty was getting them for me. Because I really thought he was. Or at least was conspiring to get them.
But no. That was not the case. At all.
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I know, I’m a bit behind. But I wasn’t moved by Day 14s question and that jammed up my troof. Seriously, do not read Gal’s letter to Bill Clinton. (her damn writing is giving me a complex!) While I don’t feel quite the same way about former President Clinton, I would agree with her on a good deal of it.
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Dear Hal,
I’m not sure what happened but in the blink of an eye, you went from really cool dude to weird dude who seems to crave attention. I know this is actually more about me and how I felt you weren’t paying attention when I was talking to you after your show (finally, I admit it) but it’s not been the same since. I still think are funny as hell and am still amazed that one person’s head can hold that much info. But my love affair with you has ended. Probably for the best.
Let’s just go our separate ways and maybe our paths will meet up again.
Love (or not so much),
Me
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
That would be the internets. Just today I was pondering what would happen if I blew a gasket at work and started slamming things and stabbing people. (Wait, did I say that last thing out loud? Damn. Never mind.) Duty reminded me that there are few, if any, internet privs in prison which is where my ass would be should I go all beserker on my co-workers. So, threatened with the mere thought of no internets, I calmed the fuck down and went back inside my cage. (Yep, that is actually the name of the space where I sit. The Cage. Apt, yes?)
Second to the internets would be coffee. Duh.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
My damn day job. The people are nice (mostly) but if I never, ever have to answer another phone call in my life, I’ll be over the moon with joy. Yesterday, I spent 30 minutes adding a middle initial to a guy’s 40 separate accounts because he would be very upset if his initials were not separated by a space on his statements. (See what kinds of things preoccupy the minds of those with money? This kind of shit.) I am so so so ready to just be done with that job.
I remember when I worked at another firm and knew it was time to leave by this one simple conversation:
Client on phone: my account balance is off by 30 cents.
Me: Uh, what? 30 cents?
Client: Yes. Where’s my 30 cents? You people are stealing from me.
Me: Dude, I will mail you 30 cents tomorrow if you promise me you’ll go outside and take a deep breath and contemplate what’s important. (CLICK)
I am so in the wrong field. Must. leave. soon.
(See? I told you I was in a crap mood. What’s that? I didn’t? Well, now you know.)
… but that third cosmo yesterday just about did me in. Oh four peeps – I am too old to be drinking THREE cosmos in the mid-afternoon. I last remember lounging in a plushy chair on the deck, sipping on my (third) tasty cool beverage and the next thing I know, I’m upstairs in the bathroom, sweating my ass off for some reason. I vaguely remember going upstairs but have no recollection for what reason. I lurched over to the bed and passed out there, still all sweaty. (I sound so very, very attractive, do I not?)
One cosmo = nice, pleasant buzz
Two cosmos = nicer, even more pleasant buzz when all is right with the world and I hear birdies chirping and singing
Three cosmos = sweaty, lurching, forgetful mess. Blarf. (to coin a term)
The evening was spent trying to recover from the egregious choices I made earlier. Duty was nice and went to buy me some soda to ease my tummy. Man, vodka is rough on my stomach. How do all those alcoholics do it?
Announcing: AN ADVENTURE!!
Duty and I decided to take a mini-break and head up to Portland, Maine! Don’t ask why Portland. It was a spur of the moment “Let’s do it!” thing. We are going to celebrate our tenth anniversary. We’ll be driving there (about 8 hours) and plan to visit Boston and see some sights. Last time I was up thataway was 1993 with my buddy Charlie. (That is a story for another time. I’ll sum it up thusly: as he dropped me off after a week long jaunt up north, he said “I don’t want to see you again for a very long time.” Yes, fun was had by all!!)
Anyway, YEY for vacations because I cannot take another minute of that job. I’m gonna rock some mad manifesting skillz and get my ass on out the door in the relative near future because those people make me crazeeeee.
(stabs self in head and runs away)
Did I mention that back in March, I had a very well-respected astrologer read my charts for the coming three years? Did I also mention that she totally and I mean TOTALLY called Duty’s heart attack? (Her words: how’s your husband’s health? my words: Fine. Why?) So, yeah. The weird thing was I had forgotten about that part – mostly because I thought it might have been the father-in-law she was picking up on. (Oh hai, blind side. I see what you did there.) It wasn’t until I was driving to the hospital the night of the heart attack that I remembered her words.
Along with that, she mentioned that during the fall I’d be experiencing a slowing-down of my forward moving energies that I’d been coasting on since the spring. Yep. That’s here too. I noticed I have written six posts for Practically Intuitive in August. SIX!! I had twelve the month before. I really do feel that the momentum that was swirling has ground to a halt and I am plodding along day by day. But, light at the end of the tunnel time – she said after November, it would pick back up and carry me along until well into the spring.
I know I sound like Eeyore these days and I really do feel like ye olde gray donkey of late. Nothing on the internets interests me at all, politics is the same old, same old fighting and bitching, I’ve run out of ideas for posts on PI, and this stupid-ass cold is hanging around still.
(Aren’t you glad you are reading this?? heh)
I’m just glad to know that this is only temporary. Lots of fun things to look forward to: a weekend of 24/7 babyholding and loving on October 3 with the nephew and godson of love, a possible costume party birthday celebration (the big 50 this year! aack!) and a vacation of some sort (not yet planned) in the near-ish future. All good stuff.
So, forgive me my Eeyore days of summer. In the immortal words of Sarah Palin: “This, also too, will … like, pass. Refudiate that, liberals!”
Hello Kitties!
This has been a craptastic week for yours truly, trying to pull my shit together and failing to do so for the most part. A good talk with my coach yesterday helped clarify matters for me a bit, shed some light on the issues around Duty’s “total attack of the heart” and what it meant for me (and him) from an energetic point of view.
** Pretty sure I read way too much Sarah “QuittyPants” Palin gossip because I woke up yesterday morning with her twitter comment in my head “Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate” – Duty and I laughed about that all day and kept asking our pets if they were peaceful Muslims. (I had to ‘splain it to Duty first because he was all “refudiate is not a word” – DUH!)
** Hal was awesome on Thursday and the show was just what the doctor ordered for a depressed chick like me. All the driving to and from the show in the rain/fog? Not. To truly enjoy my life I need to employ a housekeeper/cook and a chauffeur because I hate cooking, cleaning and driving. I’d post the picture but I look all puffy and fat and I hate it. I sent it to The Gal as proof that I did, in fact, accomplish my goal.
** I’m reading Geneen Roth’s book “Woman Food and God – An Unexpected Path to Everything” and it is eye-opening. I doubt it’s anything that hasn’t been said before by someone in some way but perhaps I’m ready now to truly hear it. I’m tired of fighting with my body constantly and these dumb menopausal changes (which heretofore had gone unnoticed except for a distinct lack of periods) are causing me an enormous amount of consternation and angst. It’s time for a shift, for something new around this whole body thing.
** Babyholding is in my future today. That will totally help shift the energy.
** I really got carried away with the marketing side of my intuitive business and feel that can become, well, not an addiction really but an obsession. There are eleventy million classes to take and things to do and add and see and read. It’s an overwhelming amount of information and I feel pulled in many directions. So, I decided to ignore all of that for a bit and take one course called “Uplevel your business” by Christine Kane – one of the reasons I chose it was that it’s an interactive course where you meet online once a week and have a group energy on which to bounce around. That’s something I need, I think. Early on, I bought a couple pieces that were work at your own pace and I totally blew them off. What a waste although that’s not to say I won’t pick it back up at some point. I’m learning my process for managing all this information and what works best.
Okay, that’s all the exquisite randomness for now.
Kitty picture fuh U
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Oh yeah, and this also too:
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So, yeah. It’s (almost) Friday. I’m glad. Maybe this week of WTF will be at a close. The only good thing I can say is that I have done 15 mins on the bike each day. Duty just had to shame me into it once.
On the dissonance front: it continues. However, after lots of chats with my guides and input from friends here (thanks Jody and Gal) and from my woo-woo buds at Democratic Underground, I’m going with this possibility: It’s their weird shit to deal with and I’m just the one noticing it. That works for me. Duty gave me some advice when I was whining about it last night: Let it go. And while that’s not my preferred way of handling things, it IS something new for me so I’ll try it.
I’m using my copious down-time at work to write a post for PI on ceding authority to your Guides in Spirit and how they wouldn’t let you do that anyway. It’s a response to Rose’s post where I talk about what my experience has been in that arena. I’m also practicing my own self-authority by not worrying if people think I’m a slack ass or not and giving thanks that I have a job where I have lots of independence. I’ll let you guys know when the post is up (probably this weekend).
And one last comment: Since I fell in love with sekrit boyfriend, anyone else after that seems so fake. I think my heart is closed to all but DC and HS (and I’m not even sure how Hal managed to get in there! Brains, arm porn and humor carry a lot of weight with some chicks. heh) Watching Idol is so lame, even *I* don’t know why I’m doing it. Poseurs, all of them. But not my cookie!
Happy Friday to my blog buddies! I luf you all!
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Dear kitteh,
Well, it wasn’t a bad day per se but it was a day where I chose to be invisible to my co-workers and they obliged me by not noticing me at all. That’s nice. One of the guys in my office is studiously and (to my view) obviously avoiding me and I have no idea why. Like he thinks I’m spreading bad ju-ju or something, I dunno. Weird.
Found out Cousin O’Love and Auntie G are going to Italy in October. (Sobs into pillow) It was three years ago this week that C O’L and I were there to celebrate what would have been La’s 21st birthday. I loved Italy. LOVED IT. And will go back sometime in the relative near future. (Obvs not with COL and AG, though.) I think I need a vacation STAT! Somewhere warm with an adult beverage or eleventy, massages, books, coffee and cool sheets (and Sparkela and Cookie).
On the happy side, I managed 15 minutes on the stationery bike. Duty would be mad at me if I didn’t do it since he did his 15. We’re supposed to be helping each other do some exercise and I didn’t do any last night. (I suck.) Plus, he fixed me a nice dinner (not quite a “peechy-tini” but close enough for me.)
I could whine more but I’ll stop here. Next time, can I have extra -tini, pleeb?
kthxbai,
Snarks
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