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I is accomplished!

September 23, 2009 Written by Lisa

Srsly, I is! I managed not to turn on the computer for a whole two hours after getting home today! Woot! I cleaned two litter boxes, fed Lucie and gave her a shot, cleaned some crap outta the pool, watered the tomato plants, loaded and ran the dishwasher, and talked on the phone to my friend Tom re: Seminary issues. YEY for me!

accomplishment

I’ve also come to a decision – I am taking three months off from my Seminary work. After talking with my friend Tom (a seminary advisor but mostly my friend), I feel that I have to pay attention to the message I am getting from Spirit which tells me to “step back”. By putting a hold on my work, I can use the time to see if there’s something out there calling me loudly – I suspect so and that Spirit is assisting me in opening up some space for it. We’ll see. I’m fine with the decision and am excited to see what’s coming down the pike.

Speaking of accomplishments, I am thisclose to finishing the last book in the Twilight series (Breaking Dawn). Definitely the best of the four. But I’m in no danger of becoming mesmerized by RPatz (aka: Edward the vampire). I can have but one teen-age crush and you know who that is.

Which brings me to today’s (not-so-secret) word: underpanties – he haz them.

Tightywhities

I mean, hey. I can see his face any damn time. It’s not often we get to see a glimpse of the undergarments. Don’t judge.

Love this picture by Jen

Happy Stuff
David Cook, I did stuff!

The Rant revisited

August 30, 2009 Written by Lisa

Clouds

I typed out a big long explanation of the issue I mentioned in the post below and after reading it all, I decided it was like foreplay that went nowhere. (Which sucks, so I’ve heard.) And it wasn’t even the issue, as much as what’s underneath it.

Here’s the deal: Someone at work “warned” someone else about me (and my woo-woo ways, apparently) saying that “the devil comes in all kinds of disguises” and to that I loudly respond “What the fucking fuck?” Me? Me? I mean, come on, at least pick something that’s in the realm of possibilities. Last I checked, I was busy feeding my birds and squirrels and chatting with the angels. I’m pretty sure that’s not something the devil would do. (Although I hear Hitler was a vegetarian and a painter so who can say?)

Last year I got a variation on it from a family member who spat it out to me in the most hateful email I have ever received. This time around it was from a co-worker and it was said behind my back. I don’t know that I will confront her because it was not said to me directly and I don’t necessarily want to stir that up at work. However, when I was thinking about it today after writing my earlier screed, it came into my consciousness that the reasons behind the comment and the vicious email were very similar. Each person saw me as trying to take someone from them that they loved and needed. And it didn’t matter that it was never my intention to do that nor did that happen. In their world, I am a threat.

So they poked at me with a sharp stick in a place where they knew it would hurt. And it did. My higher self reminds me that this is all about them and their fears: fears of losing their mother (and mother figure), fear of someone being “different” than them, fear of many things. I’d like to shrug it off. Perhaps that is my challenge: how do I handle attacks upon my beliefs and integrity even as I know the reasons behind it?

In the case of the family member, it took me a whole day to decide how to respond to her because I didn’t want to fling the shit right back at her. (Okay, I wanted to do it. I chose not to do it.) In the case of my co-worker, well, I’m not sure about that yet. I can say that any warmth for her (which was on the wane anyway) is gone. I think civility is all she’s entitled to at this point.

I get why both these women attacked me. And understanding that, I’ve worked hard to find a way of relating to them that comes from a place of compassion. But compassion does not equal me accepting their projected bullshit. They can liken me to the devil if they want or whatever it is that they most fear in their life. That doesn’t say one thing about me and everything about them.

So, that’s not much of a rant, is it? But I just had to get that out there for some reason. (I’m tired of writing all the juicy stuff in my journal. Heh)

BitchLog
Angels, GRRRRR, Phbbbt

Queen’s Meme #4

August 11, 2009 Written by Lisa

NB: This was definitely a weird one and I just wrote what came out. Some stuff you’ll get, some makes no sense and it probably shouldn’t. The words in bold are my responses to the Queen’s blanks. Totally, totally random. And now, on with the show.

Forty years ago this week, three days of peace, love and rock ‘n roll (and mud) happened near Bethel, New York. It was the Summer of 1969.

Attire: Hippie jeans. Long hair. Legal or illegal smoke. Psychedelic vibe.

The scene: You are at Woodstock. You go alone but meet up with a beautiful man/woman. You spend three days together. Put yourself inside the peace & love vibe. You can choose to be stoned or straight. I put it in the story for the sake of reality. Just don’t inhale in this meme.

This is the conversation you have upon meeting or you can make it into what you overhear others say. It makes no sense and has no continuity by design.

You must fill in the familiar blanks to finish the story. Some are song lyrics. You may use more than one word to fill in the blanks.

Oh! I forgot to tell you (must be the smoke in here) You have a new name. It must a combination of the first letter of your first name, the third letter of your middle name and the last letter of your last name.

Peace out! Somebody might wanna turn on a fan in here.

1. “Hello, my groovy name is LRR. You pronounce it Lurrrrr.

By the looks of those flowers in your hair, you must be friends with a florist because they are some fancyass flowers!

Didn’t they tell you? No skinny arms allowed!

2. Come on, Baby, light my uh, flashlight?

When I lay me down to contemplate the horror that is my life, I pray the hell my guardian angel leaves me some COOKies to keep.

If I eat them all before I wake, I pray the doctor my scale to take.

**puff puff**

3. Because the first time ever I saw your arms I realized that what the world needs now is arm porn sweet arm porn. Besides, I always feel guilty watching you dance around in those pirate pants when I should be doing my seminary work.

But I dig it! (Oh yes, I do!)

4. Have I told you lately that I know I annoy you? Hey! Don’t step on that beetlebug!!!

Dude. That guy is really weird but….. he’s alright by me, yeah yeah yeah.

5. There’s a party in my sleeping bag and half a million of my David Cook loving friends are coming over tonight and we’re gonna CENSORED my baby off my mind. Darn the luck. It’s raining here and there.

Luckily, Papa was a rolling in his wheelchair and I’m on a first name basis with the cops. (I bring them coffee and donuts ‘cuz I’m nice like ‘dat)

**puff puff**

6. I’m really digging your ass but that stupid hat has got to go. Those flowers in your hair are beginning to smell like someone’s ass and it ain’t yours, dude.

Have I told you lately that I am in major lust with you? (It’s true.)

** puff puff**

7. I’m beginning to see cats in those trees over there. Do you see it?

Out of all the millions of hippies here, you are the most cosmic, dude.

But I dig it, man.

**puff puff**

8. I’d use all my blood, sweat and wild imagination just to get next to your arms, punkin muffin.

Love is free but I’d really like to buy that guy’s lust. How much will it cost? I’ll buy it. The time is all we’ve lost. I’ll try it..

It says “Make pudding not custard.” Far out!

9. I’m grateful to be stuck in my head ’cause there’s a bad vibe rising in Jefferson’s Airplane. But that’s okay, ’cause Joe Cocker said I could get by with a little arm porn pics from my friends. (Via Twitter)

10. Oh, by the way, your head is on fire. But I dig it.

Memeage
Arm porn, David Cook, lyrics that mean something, Queen's Meme, sekrit boyfriend

Doggie Paddling to Friday

June 25, 2009 Written by Lisa

First, thanks to Gentle Readers Jody and The Gal for their insightful comments on my last post. I’ve had baby lust forever and I can’t even go into the baby clothes section of stores without melting into a puddle of “what could have been” so it’s probably some of that stirred into my boiling cauldron of Meh-ness. And yes, the journey back into dense energy was hard – I was fine Monday and Tuesday but lost it completely yesterday and today I just tried to hang in there ’til 4:30. I’d love to call in sick but that’s not an option. Glad that next week is just 4 days.

Stolen from my source (whom I haven’t stolen from in a long time):

I can’t…
* sing on key much
* give up my addiction to David Cook (nor do I want to!)
* do any kind of math much above addition, subtraction, multiplication and division
* de-clutter
* have babies of my own

but I can…
* converse with angels
* fast for twelve days
* write kick ass stories (for special eyes only)
* afford really good bras for the ta-ta’s of love
* be disciplined about taking ALL my million supplements

I won’t…
* eat brussell sprouts
* miss an episode of the new season of “Mad Men” (Thanks for yet another addiction, Gal! heh)
* marry David Cook (much to my chagrin)
* start smoking
* ever, ever forget my amazing Goddaughter of Love, Lauren

but I will…
* carry her Light with me at all times
* get ordained sometime in the near future
* stop using Splenda completely
* de-tox my liver fully
* have my very own healing practice

I shouldn’t…
* get all spazzy when people act like morons
* love my laptop and Ipod touch as much as I do
* continue to be so damn cluttery
* eat sugar any more
* have to listen to Neighbor Greg hack and cough and sound all barfy in the morning as I am enjoying my peaceful morning coffee

and I should…
* thank the Universe every damn day for a job that allows me to do the things I want to do when I’m not there
* comment more on the blogs I visit
* do my Seminary homework (lots to do!)
* send Nikki a “Congrats on having such a cute baby” card
* write in my journal more

How’s that for a Friday meme?

Bummer news about Michael Jackson, wasn’t it? I heard someone talking about how so many people enabled him in his drug dependency that it made Anna Nicole Miller’s life look disciplined by comparison. We will probably never know what really happened to Michael somewhere along the line that caused him to implode before our eyes, but I hope he finds some peace now. As I said in the post before this, having fame and power is very difficult even if you are an internally strong person. But it’s so much worse if you’re not. I’m happy in my own little non-powerful, non-famous life. If that’s what fame does to someone, you can keep it.

General Blatherings
Angels, babies, coffee, David Cook, Goddaughter of Love, Ipod, Lists and more lists, Mad Men, Meh, Neighbor Greg, Stolen from The Gal Herself, Universe

The same but totally different

June 23, 2009 Written by Lisa

I don’t know if that makes any sense but that’s how I came back: the same but different: more willing to be open with people even about things I think they won’t like, more assured that the path I am traveling is the right one for me, more focused on what I need to do to get there. Just more “Lisa” – can you stand it?? :)

I still have to write an eight page paper from my “Death & Dying” class (from two years ago! Drag your feet much??) and it came to me on the flight home that the theme needs to be “Death as re-birth” and to look at a few of the relationships in my life from the perspective of what I gained as each has ended. I’ve been the “mom” (to my mother and to guys I’ve dated), the “invisible one” to pretty much most of my family (they might argue otherwise), and many other roles/relationships I’ve yet to flesh out. With every goodbye, you learn.

“Comes the Dawn”

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
And learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow’s ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
that you really are strong
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn.. .
With every goodbye you learn.

— Veronica Shoffstall

534558930_010deeed28.jpg

Image from Flickr

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