I think I’ve come to the considered conclusion that I am not eating enough. Why? Because I am tired all the time. And not sleepy tired but worn out, worn down dog tired. In looking over my daily intake of food of late, I see that I am really not eating very well or even very much at all.
Since I’m doing Atkins and I have taken away my body’s prime source of energy (carbs), I know my body is taking it from the protein I take in and the fat stores available (and seriously, there’s enough for everyone at the fat store in my neighborhood!). That is all well and good and I am losing weight at a fairly rapid pace. However, a side effect of that has been overwhelming fatigue that grips me and won’t let go. When I reviewed what I’ve eaten in just the past few days, I see a vicious cycle – I don’t eat alot and I get tired. Then, I’m too tired to be bothered eating. Suddenly, before I know it, it’s all I can do to drag my body from one place to the other. PROFOUND exhaustion is not fun!
Add to that the great deal of stress I place myself under trying to make the account transfer department wicked sharp (pretty much by myself, mind you) AND attend to the various and sundry emotional issues that confound me and it all equals one very tired Lisa.
So … I hereby vow to eat (more) and even if that involves a few more carbs than I now take in, that will be okay. Maybe if I do that, I will have the oomph to go to the gym and work out – building muscle and getting somewhat toned.
On the work front – well, that gets funner all the time! Miss Bad Attitude is back spreading her own particular joy around. Yesterday was “oh hell – don’t put me in the middle of your damn drama” theatre. Today was “I wanna only work part time now” theatre. I do have compassion for her. It must be VERY hard to leave your 3 month old baby and come back to work full time. I will never know that feeling (a bittersweet thing, to be sure).
I don’t think PT is gonna fly for many reasons. What I am most panicked about is the fact that she is my ONLY backup. If I’m out, there is no one else to do this work. The beat thing about that is there is a time frame for these transfers that must be adhered to and each day moves an account through that process. If you skip a certain part of that process, you could have a big mess on your hands that affects someone else’s department too and makes alot of work for people. So … someone has to monitor at the very least that piece of it.
People keep telling me that I need to not worry about all that – that it’s the firm’s responsibility to provide backup. Well, I may not be too dutiful in other areas of my life but when it comes to my job, I am nothing but duty. (Seriously – a balance would be nice, I’m thinking) So while it may indeed be the firm’s responsibility, it comes down to getting the work done. I am not one to dump my stuff and just go off and leave for a day off or whatever. Never have been. So, I can’t just march in to BDs office and announce that I want days off and he has to deal with it. (Too much of a
dolt people pleaser to do that) But I will work it so that before Mommy goes either PT or AWOL, I get some time while my backup is still around. (I’m not that stupid!)
What I need is this:
oh yea, and a spa day …. and a sugar daddy to pay for it! hahah