YUMMMM!! Found this picture of the infamous Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg to us all now) when he was a Calvin Klein poster boy. MMMMMMMM
(Can you hear me purrrrrrrr from way over here?)
I am bored and hateful (despite the purring). GRRR. Just plain GRRR. That about sums me up right this very second. If I were a color, I would be grey. I think I will gather my colored markers and draw in my nifty not-quite-a-journal journal. That may be helpful.
BTW, H has suggested I look into volunteering as a Big Sister for the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization. They must have volunteers out the ass though because one email and one phone message a week apart have gone unanswered. I will call again tomorrow.
Found out that a guy I work with got married over the weekend and is expecting a baby in like, 2 weeks. (Yes, normal gestation time is 9 months but he took the extra quick OOOOOPS route and the baby is just about due.) He’s not one for ANY kind of fuss or muss so I think we are going to contribute to a gift cert for him rather than have a party occasion.
I won’t go all maudlin on you guys here about babies and shit. I think I did that back on mother’s day, if I recall correctly. What’s the five stages of death and dying: Denial, anger, bargaining, something and acceptance. I think I’m somewhere between bargaining and something on the issue of not having a child at all. I am just freaked out by the whole adoption process – how does ANYone get through all that – whether it’s domestic or abroad, it just feels hideous to me. And I feel bad that my mom is the ONLY one of her sisters to not have a grandchild. I feel like I totally let her down on that score. She’s never said that to me and she was very supportive about the whole adoption thing when I did mention it a while ago but nothing more has been said and she doesn’t mention it to me (we don’t talk much at all because she makes me insane (again, documented on these pages occasionally – more about that onmy 100Things page)
I dunno. I have about 10 million conflicting feelings about all of it. It’s pretty obvious, innit? I know. Sorry. Momentary weakness showing.
So, shall I tell you what bizarro IMs I got today?? Nah, that too has been documented on these pages.
Damn! There’s nothing to talk about.
Think I will go color.
If you decide to do the adopting thing, I hope you get the chance. You’d be a great mommy! In fact, I want YOU as my mommy!