Although I am thrilled that it’s my birthday (how could I not be?), I am not that excited about announcing my age any longer. UGH. 44 sounds soooo middle-age, doesn’t it? Yet, in my mind and heart (if not body) I am 28. Not sure why I always gravitate to 28 but that’s where I am. Old enough to know better, young enough to not care. (That’s the saying, right?) So, when someone asks me my age, I have a very hard time saying “uh, 44” and not feeling like I am lying.
Oh well. I *am* indeed 44 but I am so much more than I was at 28 and I know that can only be a good thing. I looked back at last year’s entry to see how (much) things have changed and even though it doesn’t show from that entry, I know in my heart I have grown a lot this year.
For one thing, who would have EVER thought I’d become interested in politics? Even I couldn’t have predicted that. But it’s true. I finally woke up and realized that I cannot sit by any longer and see our country torn down. Maybe I didn’t think anyone was doing that in such an egregious fashion before or if they were, it escaped my radar. Or maybe, just maybe, my radar is a bit more finely tuned now.
Who could have predicted that I would spend the summer communing with ducks and geese and hating 7 hours of my day, feeling as if I were going to prison instead of a workplace? I sure couldn’t. I know I was bolted out of former place of employ (#1) for a reason. I’m not sure what purpose my time at place of (ex) employ (#2) served but hopefully, I’ve learned what it was I was sent there to learn. Because I couldn’t escape fast enough.
Who could have predicted that I would become my mother’s caretaker (in some fashion, thankfully not full time) and spend every weekend except two driving back and forth to Baltimore to be with her in the nursing home? Were it not for some amazing amounts of grace from Archangel Michael, I would never have made it through certain situations that made me face some of my inner, oh what, not fears, not demons but certainly scary places.
And who could have predicted that I would get to spend lots of extra time with the Goddaughter of Love but not in a way I would have wished on anyone. I love her being around but I think I would have gladly sacrificed not talking to her for a whole year for her to have avoided this ordeal. I know there is a reason for it, as does she, but it still sucks. (I love you, my 12 year old twin).
Now, for something EVERYONE predicted – no fucking hockey!! Dammit. First we have the crappiest year ever, losing all our beloved players (except Olie) and then there’s the daggone CBA lockout so we don’t even get to see ANY hockey at all. Well, we can always do a road trip to Richmond to see the Riverdogs play (sounds like fun, right?) (heavy sigh) I miss my Caps.
So, here I am, 44 and I know there’s so much more out there for me yet. It will be interesting to see what the year ahead brings.
IF OCTOBER 22 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Make needed changes between now and the New Year, as you have the tools on hand to make many of your most heartfelt goals a reality. Try not to make any big moves or decisions in February if romantic relationships seem troublesome. Ignore minor challenges to your authority and avoid controversy then, as minor misunderstandings could be blown out of proportion. Once that month is over you will be riding high until mid July, when responsibilities require your undivided attention. By this time next year, you will be able to reap the rewards that you richly deserve.