As my sweet friend “Hockey” Kim reminds me in her post: This year Lauren’s cancer was not fatal; my Mom is home and her surgery was a complete success; Sam is still alive; you have opened the woo woo door a little for me; Sharon survived her car accident; I am clean and sober; you got a fun car to drive; and I love you! , this has been a year of blessings in strangely disguised forms.
And so it continues. Last night they took my mom to the hospital in Baltimore. It’s not overly serious – more of what happened over the summer and she wasn’t able to keep it under control as she had been. I am glad she’s there and can get it taken care of since I know she wasn’t feeling well but wouldn’t admit it to me. When it comes to my mom, my woo-woo vibes are always spot on. I kept asking her what was up but she wouldn’t admit it. Sadly, that was the way of my aunt Marge too. There’s something about asking for help that these two women couldn’t or wouldn’t do. (I think that was my grandma’s legacy) Anyway, Christmas has been spun around and shaken out 14 different ways. As of now, we are having dinner and presents at Cousin ‘O Love’s house (minus the CoL who is in Indiana at her mom’s bedside).
In my prayers over the past month, I asked to be of service to whomever needs me and well, here I am. This wasn’t quite how I wanted things to be but it’s not for me to decide where that “service” is needed, is it? But, I know I’m good at comforting and loving and that’s what I’ve been doing.
Hidden blessings of all this?
Hmmm … well, my last interaction with my aunt was a positive one (and trust me when I tell you we had a very (quietly) contentious relationship), Lauren is feeling quite well despite just having a short round of chemo and is walking more and more without a crutch (“God bless us, every one”), I had a good talk with Chris, I grew even more in my appreciation for my husband’s strength and finely honed sense of duty, I am healthy and back in a workplace which (while making me speak to certain kinds of customers) affords me the freedom and fun that I need to feel good from day to day, people who truly, truly love me and let me know it each and every day (hh) and my spiritual life has grown by leaps and bounds and is what sustains me through all this.
On this day before Christmas, I wish my aunt Godspeed in going on her next journey. She did a lot of good for many people and loved her family very much. I will always be in her debt for taking care of my mom financially when I could not assume that responsibility and I do hope she knew how much I appreciated that (and yes, I did tell her many times). I wish my mom some days without pain and someone to take care of her.
And I wish each and every one of you who may be reading this a very safe, happy and healthy holiday.