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Thursday 13 – Glam Squad edition

September 13, 2006 Written by Lisa

A few things I’ve learned from watching Ten Years Younger and the rest just random whining only vaguely related to the show.

(As always, to comment scroll BACK UP TO THE TOP OF THIS POST and click on the word HEARTS)

For those who aren’t aware of this lovely little show, here’s the lowdown from Damone’s own website:

As a part of the “Glam-Squad,” Damone, along with various glamour experts, transform aging misfits into thriving beauties with makeovers designed to take ten years off their aging looks in ten days. The show airs regularly on TLC.

AGING MISFITS??? (sobs) I’m not a misfit! Just aging. More like an aging goof. But not a misfit. (sobs some more) But I have learned a couple tips from this show and I present some of them herewith. The rest is just random whining. As usual.

1. Damone says always use sponges to apply your foundation. Otherwise, the oils and crap from your fingers get on your face and make your zitty bits worse.

2. Even though Jen has hair that alternates between pink and purple depending on what season of the show you catch, she still gives amazingly great haircuts and color. I’ve yet to see her give a cut that was less than perfect. And when they ask the “victim” what they like best about the makeover, 9 times out of 10, it’s the haircut/color. Jen rocks. She’s lesbian and if she can make my hair look great every day, I would consider switching teams for her.

3. Mark Montano is a little bitch. My hatred of MM has been noted on these pages before. (I’d link but I’m lazy. Trust me. I really, really dislike his punk ass.) He replaced my most beloved host – the sexy Josh Greene so on that alone, I’d hate him but oh no, it goes beyond that, my friends. “Stylist”??? WTF? My pet monkey Marcel has a better grasp of how to dress people than this goof. Plus, he’s one of the most condecending individuals I’ve ever seen. FEH.

4. Some of the guesses people make about the actual age of the person being “made over” are so completely out of the range of possibility, it makes you wonder what planet they stepped off of. (Pardon the dangling participle. I’m tired, K?) Some young non-aging non-misfit will be up there and someone will say “hmm, 65?” I just wish for once moronic mark montano would say something like “what drugs are you huffing?” (See? I can bring it all back to how lame MM is. Just watch!!)

5. Did you know that the eyebrows are the most “underestimated” feature of your face? That’s what Damone says and I believe him. There was a cool woman in a salon in Rehoboth Beach, DE who was the QUEEEEEN of brow waxing and I would periodically drive from noVA to DE to have her do my brows. Then she left. And my brows look like poo because I cannot find anyone who will do them like she did. I have asked Duty to send me to Cali for my birfday to get a haircut by Jen and brows by Damone. He laughed at me and went back to watching episode #908 of “Law and Order”. (sigh)

6. Whitening up your teeth seems to really make a HUGE difference in your smile. I’d say most of the “makeover peeps” get their teeth whitened and it’s making me hate to look in the mirror. My coffee addiction has not been kind to my enamel and if I had a spare $500, I think I’d take my butt over to the dentist and demand that whitening. Anyone know any good, less expensive way to do that?

7. Dermatology treatments? Apparently hurt like a bitch. Oh. my. God. Most of those who have the glycolic skin peels mention how much it hurt. It looks really painful. I’ll take a pass, thanks.

8. It helps to try on different style clothing than you normally wear. It might look better on you than on a hanger. (And yes, Mother. It is duly noted for the record that you’ve been telling me for ages.) So, be bold and try something new.

9. In addition to doing my eyebrows to perfection, I would love for Damone to do my daily makeup. I’m pretty sure he’s gay as well but I’d switch teams for him too. Wait. I don’t think that would help at all. Damn. Okay, just Jen then. Perhaps she can do makeup too! :)

10. The stylist they had before they got MMM (moronic mark montano) was pretty decent. I don’t know what happened to her and/or why MMM came on board but they need someone who is a bit more tactful that you-know-who. I just went back to his bio on the TLC site and he has some good credentials but I think he’s on the wrong show.

11. People are very emotional about their hair. Especially women with very long hair. Props to Jen for encouraging those who have a lot cut off to donate to Locks of Love. If you don’t know what that is, check out that site. It’s a wonderful cause.

12. This kind of show is best watched on Tivo. That way, you can fast forward past the mean comments people make about the “victim”, outrageously incorrect guesses on age, MMM’s condecending “interviews” with the poor person and the painful dermatological sessions. I stop at the part where they tell their real age (MMM: “Penny Sue, how old ARE you?” said in his best Chandler Bing intonation), FF past lasik and dermatology and get to the good part – hair, clothes and eyebrows makeup.

13. Dressing up is fun! Especially when someone else foots the bill for your makeover! :) And if someone pampers you while doing that. Gosh, can someone sign me up for one of these shows? I don’t care which one. Take pity on me. Please. I’m begging you.

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32 Comments

  1. nancy nancy
    September 15, 2006    

    Hey Girlfriend:

    I am having a party at my place. YOU HAVE TO COME!

  2. Incog Incog
    September 15, 2006    

    Too funny!!

  3. bernie bernie
    September 14, 2006    

    Marry a dentist.

    I linked to you from TT – 13 Converts to Islam

  4. nat nat
    September 14, 2006    

    This is the second mention of this show that I’ve seen and I’ve never heard of it before! I’m going to have to check it out! Thanks for the recommend!!

  5. Christina Christina
    September 14, 2006    

    Great post today! I agree with the thing about applying foundation with sponges. It seems to come out a lot nicer that way. And I would love to whiten my teeth but can’t right now and don’t have the money anyway…And dressing up is great! But there’s that darn money problem again LOL.

  6. Sadie Sadie
    September 14, 2006    

    Excellent list! I have not watched that show but I just might start!

    I really like your site!

    My list is up, happy TT!

  7. jennifer jennifer
    September 14, 2006    

    You can come stay with me in California Lisa, that way Duty can cut down on costs of your make over. But you and I both know inner beauty sines brighter than any old’ make over any day.

    Shine on my friend.

  8. Kelly Kelly
    September 14, 2006    

    YAY! For the makeover shows!! ilove them, my favorite is Extreme Makeover they do the DAMN THANG!!
    As for the teeth, (mine are extremely white!) I started with baking soda at a very young age, and when the crest strips came out, i couldn’t wait ti try them! THEY ARE AWESOME!! Even the dentist is amazed everytime he sees them!

  9. Lisa Lisa
    September 14, 2006    

    I love this show, its listed as one of my guilty pleasures. I want Damone to live under my bed and do my make-up every day!

    My List is up!

  10. Jenny Ryan Jenny Ryan
    September 14, 2006    

    5. Did you know that the eyebrows are the most “underestimated” feature of your face?

    I did not know that. But my husband and I do know the trick of watching certain shows on TIVO. Last year for us I think the Super Bowl only lasted like 45 minutes-it was great!

  11. Tee-T Tee-T
    September 14, 2006    

    Yeah, I actually did know about #5. There is NOTHING you can do that will atler your appearance more than changing your eyebrows. I know this, yet I am soooo bad about letting my own eyebrows go. Guess I just don’t mind looking old and ugly. heh heh
    Great list!

  12. nancy nancy
    September 14, 2006    

    ROFLMAO! You are too funny. I so want a make over. Just cause, We all deserve one. The transformation of some of these people is amazing!

    Party at my place, come on over!

  13. AmandaF AmandaF
    September 14, 2006    

    I have watched a few of them… just like I’ve watched a few of ” What not to Wear”. I orefer the llatter… because they make the best of what you are now…. not what you could be after chemical peels, etc. Of course, it would be nice to get your teeth reconstructed, whitened but I really do not like MM’s dress sense… I prefer Stacey and Clinton’s styles.. Cool List!

  14. MamaDuck MamaDuck
    September 14, 2006    

    What fun!! Ours is up – 13 things I’m doing once we recover from this sickness!!

  15. carmen carmen
    September 14, 2006    

    I can’t whiten my teeth, because they are way too sensitive. However, my dentist says that crest white strips will give you the same smile as a professional blasting. :)

  16. Wendy ann Edwina D'Cunha e Pereira Wendy ann Edwina D'Cunha e Pereira
    September 14, 2006    

    Haven’t seen this show… but it sounds like something I’d really enjoy…I love make over shows. I wold love for someone to tell me what to do, haircuts and all….

  17. Caylynn Caylynn
    September 14, 2006    

    I don’t know the show, but it souds like fun! And getting made-over when someone else is footing the bill is always a good thing. ;) My 13 are up. :)

  18. Jersey Girl Jersey Girl
    September 14, 2006    

    I love this show! I love MakeOver Story and What Not to Wear too! I agree…not crazy about the host, but love the others.

  19. Kelli Kelli
    September 14, 2006    

    Great list….I’ve only watched it a few times, but enough to know that she does give wonderful hair cuts! Happy TT!

  20. Barb Barb
    September 14, 2006    

    I’ve never watched this show. But, I love TIVO. It works for any show, and it’s so nice to just go on through commericals and not be bothered!
    ]
    My Thursday Thirteen is up.

  21. laura laura
    September 14, 2006    

    okay i have never seen this show. it sounds interesting. great tips, btw.
    my tt is up now.

  22. CRSE CRSE
    September 13, 2006    

    Ok Lis, I really wish I felt like it was crossing a line to tell you that in one study involving nineteen subjects, Clinical evaluation showed that subjects using a Sonicare toothbrush achieved 82% stain reduction in 4 weeks. (i cant stop). Anyway, great list! mine isnt even started. I havent seen this show but now i already vicariously hate MMM too! And Damone is right, its all about the eyebrows baby. I would recommend you Lis, but ive seen your pictures and you are too cute to qualify!

  23. Mysterious Lady Mysterious Lady
    September 13, 2006    

    LOL1 you are so snarky! Happy TT!

  24. meredith meredith
    September 13, 2006    

    Great list!!!

    Happy TT!

  25. Samantha_K Samantha_K
    September 13, 2006    

    I watch that show sometimes, I agree that MM is notsonice. Bleh. You should watch Cover Shot on TLC, I think you’d like it. No matter what the woman looks like, Frederique and Richard Dean are always like, “She’s so gorgeous, she just needs to believe it herself”. I loved your 13!

  26. Janet Janet
    September 13, 2006    

    hmmm…I’m going to have to check this show out! Loved your 13, made me laugh :-)

  27. Raggedy Raggedy
    September 13, 2006    

    It sounds like your really had fun with this one..
    Good TT
    Mine is up too.

  28. Vicky Vicky
    September 13, 2006    

    Wow… didn’t realise Jen the hair stylist was a lesbian!! Have to say that I have always found her pink / purple hair a little off-putting, but you are right, she always does an amazing job on the person being ‘made over’!

  29. Southern Girl Southern Girl
    September 13, 2006    

    I’m sure the “Glam-Squad” would have a field day with ME. ;)

    Fun TT! Mine is up, too.

  30. Margie Margie
    September 13, 2006    

    Great Glam list! I need to find someone to do the brows too. The one who does the killer brows unfortuantely messed up my long hair. Fried it and made me look like Mrs. Heat Miser.

  31. Denise Denise
    September 13, 2006    

    Crest White Strips works really well! I use them in addition to the Listerine Whitening Pre-Rinse. I refuse to give up my coffee habit…so I gotta do something.

  32. anita anita
    September 13, 2006    

    I’ve never watched this show, but it sounds hilarious!

    I hear Crest White Strips from the drugstore work great.

    -A

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