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TT – the horrified edition

November 30, 2006 Written by Lisa

So, yeah. Running late on the thirteen. Anyone notice? Didn’t think so. In my head, I have only a theme and one item but I’m hoping that by the time I get to number two, I will have lots more flowing out my fingers.

(Have to write a book review and am worried I’m using up all my creative juices rambling on here. C’est la vie, oui?)

Without further ado, I present “13 Things that horrify me”

1. This new trend in Hollywood whereby showing your cooter to the public becomes the “in” thing to do. Bad enough we’ve got Paris Ho-hilton and Lindsey Ho-han doing it but now Britney “I cannot debase myself any more than I already have” Spears is jumping on the coot-wagon. Is it me? Am I old? This is just disgusting behavior. Stop it.

2. (An oldie but a goodie) People who are still sporting “Bush/Cheney” stickers on their cars. If you can’t see the “truthiness” by now, you is blind, blind, blind.

3. Bestiality in general but necrophiliac bestiality but this? Color me horrific. Check out that story – the gist of it has to do with a dude caught having sex with a deer carcass. What pathology must one possess to think this is a reasonable thing to do? Extra large EWWWW to that one.

4. Vomit. By anyone. Most people seem to be able to take it in stride but I really can’t. It’s the sounds mostly. I don’t gag or anything but it strikes up some kind of really old fear in me that turns to horror and makes me want to wedge myself between the wall and refrigerator.

5. When people write the word “loose” when they mean “lose”. Laugh if you want, but I find THAT horrifying. (Not on the same scale as the dead deer incident but pretty durn close.) Don’t they teach spelling in skoooool anymore? (sigh)

6. Bombastic boss when he gets into some ranty moment and his eyes are all ablaze and he’s pacing back and forth. I generally go to my happy place at that time until he gets past whatever it is that’s causing him to behave like this. I cannot imagine what would cause his very sweet and kind wife to $tay with him but take one gue$$.

7. Toe fungus. Nasty ain’t it? Yeah. I’d rather see cooters than toe fungus. Yet, I’d look at toe fungus over dead deer sex antics so it’s all relative. (Still, eww)

8. Hunting. Unless this is your only way to get food and you’re starving to death, I am against it. How can anyone do that? I am truly appalled by all of it. (Do I still eat meat? Yes. Do I understand where it comes from? Yes. How do I rationalize that? I dunno. I’m still working on it.)

9. Snakes and roller coasters horrify me. Anyone care to do some psychoanalysis on me based on this alone?

10. Bill O’Reilly. Seriously. I think the man is completely delusional. How does one pay off a co-worker for phone sex harassment and then proclaim he is the king of all that is moral? That anyone would take him seriously in this day and age horrifies me indeed.

11. Sweetbread. And if you don’t know what it is, consider yourself blessed. Check out the link. I’ll wait for you. (taps foot) Nasty, eh? Who eats this? Yuckage.

12. The Exorcist (the movie). I remember seeing a picture of the possessed child in a Time magazine when I was in eighth grade and it so scared and horrified me, I had to sleep with the lights on for months. When I was older, I thought I was brave enough to watch it. I was wrong. Had to sleep with mom for a few weeks (and I was a teenager at that point). I don’t do well with devil stuff.

13. Eating contests. That’s because it most likely involves barfing and well, see #4 above. Plus, it’s gross. I can’t imagine even watching something like this much less participating.

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10 Comments

  1. ms_teacher ms_teacher
    December 1, 2006    

    The Exorcist will never be exorcised from my brain, having watched it at the tender age of 13, when I thought I knew better than my parents. Yes on Bill O’REEELLY as Keith Olberman calls him. Sadly, there are still some out there who thank Bush/Cheney can do no wrong. Finally, I mostly feel bad for Spears’ children. While they may be showered with money, I think that they’ll lack real parental security.

  2. Amber Amber
    December 1, 2006    

    I very much agree with number one. Where are these girls parents? Even if as an adult I choose to do this my mother would kick the everlovin’ hell out of my ass! Ewww on the guy with deer. I.do.not.understand. Sweetbread equates a level of yuck I can not comprehend. The Exorcist scarred me for life. I saw it when I was 13 and now at 32 I still have nightmares over it! I will never let my child see it!!

    I totally would have added Ann Coulter to this list but I guess she and Bill O’ Reilly are ying and yang, yes?

  3. Jennifer Jennifer
    December 1, 2006    

    ehhhhhccccccckkkkkk,, I read this at luch break.. Deer and Sweet bread… nope not hungry any more.. then I looked at my previous reponses to see if I was the evil lose for loose….

    Jen

  4. Margie Margie
    December 1, 2006    

    Indeed, the firecrotch shots are frightening but they are simular to the sagging jowls of Bill O’ the Pussface Reilly. The Deer Dude scares me too. Can you imagine the look on the face of whomever caught him? Lordy – I’ve seen tons of strange things driving down these back roads in Georgia and I count my lucky stars this wasn’t one of them.

    -Margie

  5. Jenny Ryan Jenny Ryan
    December 1, 2006    

    Whoa-what?! Did I stop paying attention? When did showing off your hoo-ha to the poor, unsuspecting public become the new “in” thing to do?

  6. kelli kelli
    December 1, 2006    

    The sweetbread thing just threw me for a loop. How disgusting! Great TT! Might have to use this theme one day! Anyhow…Happy TT and Happy Holidays!

  7. Molly Molly
    December 1, 2006    

    You Are Back, Girl. Nice to have you and your snark back.

  8. tbirdonawire tbirdonawire
    December 1, 2006    

    Ewww. Just Ewww.

    And they made a movie about this one…
    http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/artsentertainment/2003453751_aebriefs30.html?iic

    I don’t think I’m going to be able to go to work today. Just thinking about this stuff makes me ill.

    Thanks for the excuse! LOL

  9. marina marina
    November 30, 2006    

    hi, people never cease to amaze me in how ridicolous and horrific we can be in any acts. i actually was just talking about the necrophiliac thing with my hubby last night.

  10. crse crse
    November 30, 2006    

    I completely without knowing almost did this list today! I love synchronicity! I really think you went out on a limb with that necrophiliac bestiality though buddy. Dont you think you might be a tad bit oversensitive? HA…seriously i couldnt click on the link because just the words themselves were way too horrifying….

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