As Cousin ‘O Love gently reminded me today as I whined in email about the house being a mess and how I’ve mostly just been sitting around being depressed about the house mess “It’s all in intention! – you know that! Intend to get organized and you will!” Horrors! She’s asking me to walk my talk! I cannot have that! LOL
Anyway, I am just slightly less sloth-like since I did manage to clean the bathroom of the last vestiges of RG and hang my new, beautiful shower curtain! Today, I INTEND (ha! take that, Universe!!) to clear the sunroom of the clutter I’ve managed to attract over the winter. And then I will go shopping as a reward for some items I need to purchase. (Have I mentioned that for a while there my grief has been manifesting as a shopping addiction? Yeah. Let’s not talk about that. Good thing I’m buying stuff for others, right?) One of the things I’ve learned with Duty being gone for almost four weeks is that he grounds me greatly. Well, I knew that but this sort of reinforced it. Minus that tether, I’ve floated out there in Magic Match world (hahah – Twinnie’s got the MM fever now!), eating too many poptarts and generally spacing out all evening. I have become much more aware of that need for grounding and am attempting to do that myself. Cleaning (or really anything in the physical) is one way (not my preferred way, mind) or exercise (AACK!) or even eating (this, alas, IS my preferred way) all contribute to grounding. His absence has highlighted the fact that I cannot rely on his presence totally to do that work for me. I need to find healthy ways to keep my feet on the earth while my head remains in the ethers. Eating is not a good way to do that but I sure do like it. (sigh) I did finally purchase the recumbent bicycle I’ve been looking at for months so I can put it in the tv room and do 30 mins or so while I’m watching Olbermann. I’ve GOT to do something with this body. It’s not a happy camper.
OH! And I will probably write something soon about the stuff going down in DC. Interesting, n’est pas? And this is ONLY the tip of the iceberg. On that I will bet my next 5 year’s worth of paychecks. I’d like to take glee in it but these last 6 years have been so horrific for our country that I just can’t. It’s going to take a lot of effort and LOTS of courage to turn this ship around. But we will. And we can thank Mr. Bush and his group for teaching us all the many, many lessons we need to know about who we elect to that office in the future and what devastating consequences greed and ignorance have.
Anyway, the sun is out, I can hear the birdies chirping and I’ve relocated back into the sunroom and I am quite happy with that.
Bottom line – I’m here, trying to get grounded and stepping forward.
Sometimes we just need to check out for awhile. ANd, it is very difficult to stay grounded right now.
Love U!
Oh sister, I can relate. I feel like all i do is put toxic stuff in my body. And the feeling of being ungrounded when the partner is not around! When is duty coming home? Good luck with the grounding!