1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can’t live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?
First off, no one would ask me to be a guest on a space shuttle. I’m probably not someone who does well in cramped quarters with other people around and no way to escape. That said, I would want my Ipod. Because we must have tunes, internets and arm porn. And that way, I’d have all three at my fingertips. And I’d get it by bribing one of the astronauts with my feminine wiles to go back and get it for me. :-)
2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the “challenging bad butt kids” class. They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you. What is the first thing you would write on the board?
Goodness. What. Would. I. Write? Is “Shut the fuck up and sit down now!” a display of poor manners? And if so, can I say I was using it as an example of said poor manners?
3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile? How would you handle it?
What? Is my “Cousin O’Not-so-much-love” writing about me again? LOL Dag. Honestly, I wouldn’t say a word nor would I read it. If that’s how she gets her ya-ya’s out, have at it. It’s a big internet. Knock yourself out. (It would be in all caps, though. I can tell you that much. She likes to yell!)
4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
What’s the going rate for arm porn? Oh. Never mind. Coffee, then.
5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?
Five Guys for everyone! Burgers and fries. MMMM!
6. You walk in on your lover. He is trying on your clothes. What do you do?
Assuming my lovah is Eddie Izzard, I don’t blink an eye! He has a much better wardrobe than I ever will. Mayhaps I can borrow some stuff from him? I won’t need the fake boobies, though. I have my own (non-fake) ones, thankyouverymuch.
7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can’t enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.
I am gonna have to go with choice number 2, as boring as that is. Yes, I’ll get old and I won’t have any sexual vigor (damn the bad luck!), I won’t have peace ‘o mind (highly overrated, if you ask me) and that unlimited hedonism gets old after a while (been there, done that, you know). So, gimme a shot of perfect health right here in my arm!