I don’t really have any major WTFs to list but I’m outta ideas for a blog post and I pretty much always am wondering what the deal is with stuff so herewith I present:
1. Dear People who call my office and ramble on to me for five minutes and THEN ask for whomever it was they called for: STOP IT!
Here’s the script:
ME: Usual Greeting … blah blah blah how may I help you cakes
THEM: Hello. I’d like to speak with (whomever), please.
ME: Certainly. One moment please.
END SCENE
I don’t need to hear all about your account, the weather, that you have no idea why your broker is calling you etc. Let us just be done with the interaction and move on so I can get back to my all important goofing off. Yeesh!
2. WTF Lisa? Stop eating that really awesomely yummy banana bread with chocolate chips that your co-worker made just for you for your birthday. It’s entirely too good and it will sit right on your ass, reminding you that you suck.
3. WTF? my cat Sophia – who now thinks she can terrorize both Lucie AND Max since we let her downstairs a bit. Yet she knows she’s done wrong and will run right upstairs if I give her a sharp tone. Then she’s all lovely to me at 3am. Dorky cat.
4. WTF weather? Make up your mind. I cannot keep moving back and forth from one seasonal wardrobe to another. And it’s almost November!
5. WTF Lisa again – stop looking at clothes to buy when you have a buttload into which you cannot presently fit. I admit I bought a book and another thing I’m not mentioning here but have so far stayed away from clothes. Mostly because it would be depressing and not much because of fiscal restraint.
6. WTF to my “usually pretty smart about this sort of thing” co-worker who brought in her sick little girl only to find out that she’s got – wait for it – H1N1! Now Hypochondriac co-worker will definitely *think* she’s coming down with it. Bossman and I have a bet on it. She spent the whole day spraying Lysol all over the place and using that clear gel hand sanitizer. (Sigh) If I get it, I want the barfing kind so I can lose a few pounds. (I am so gonna get smited over that comment! (Smote?))
EEEK!
Breathe. In and out. Deep, cleansing breaths. There, don’t you feel better? OK, I didn’t think it would work, either, but it’s worth a try.
The only one of these thorns in your side who I will defend is, of course, Sophia. She is a cat. She is descended from gods. Yours is not to understand her shit, but to accept it. It’s simply the natural order of things. (I guarantee that if she could talk, this is what she would say.)