Trivial Stealage

Do you get regular massages?
Regular? No. I wish I did, though. They are so nice. Might get one this month, now that you mention it!

Do you have an answering machine?
We have the voicemail set up through the phone company but not a machine, per se

What cuss word do you use the most?
I love the word “fuckety” because it’s got the F word in it but you add the -ety and it sounds fun! Almost as if you had never said the word fuck.

Are you underweight or overweight?
I am really underweight … if I were 7’10! Alas, I’m not so I carry a bit o’the poundage on meself.

Can you see your veins?
I don’t know. Where am I looking? I guess if I don’t know, the answer is no.

Soap?
I like Lever 2000 but I try to use more natural (with few, if any, chemicals in them).

Fruit?
I love a good orange which are hard to find

Kind of red meat?
Now and again, I like a good piece of steak.

Fish?
Does the fish sammich at McDonald’s count? I like those. (heh)

Candy bar?
Snickers are the best, ever. It’s the one ad slogan that I think is completely apt: “Snickers satisfies” – and it does.

Eaten a whole bag of potato chips?
Sure, in moments of snarfage, I have done that but it’s very, very infrequent because it leaves me feeling gross and I don’t need that.

Eaten lobster?
YUM! Yes. Although when Charlie and I went to Maine and ordered lobster, they brought the whole thing out! Teh Horror! I couldn’t eat it. And this – from a woman who can pick a crab with the best of them, too. I have no idea why those little beady lobster eyes freaked me out. Best I don’t know what original form my food came from, yanno?

Climbed a mountain?
No. And I never will. It’s just not my gig.

Been skydiving?
This is like asking me if I want to be really scared and end up with soiled underpanties. The answer to both is an affirmative NO.

Been water skiing?
Again with the adventure stuff. No and a thousand times no. I’m a big ass scaredy cat. I accept it. Why won’t you?

Wish you could change something about your life?
Yes, several many things, actually. If I had to pick just one, it would be releasing my desire to procrastinate and actually get things done.

Like your nose?
As noses go, it’s alright.

Like salt and vinegar chips?
I do and have them every once in a while. They aren’t snarfy for me because they are so tart, that I can eat a little bit and then that’s enough.

Eat salsa?
Just the mild kind. But fresh salsa? MMMM!

Own a boat?
Yes, and it sits in the driveway mocking the husband who wants to keep it and buy things for it but not really use it. I don’t know what’s up with that whole issue.

A small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequences?
Eating like crap. I know from first hand experience.

Your most macho trait?
Macho? I don’t think there’s a lot macho about me. I’m a girl, through and through.

The longest relationship you’ve ever had?
Depends on the kind you’re talking about. The closest I’ve had and the longest is with Cousin O’Love since we’ve known each other all our lives. (Which is nice to have that kind of shared history.)

Your most embarrassing thoughts?
And I’m going to put them here? For the world to see? Yeah right. How about: I am paranoid about other people hearing me poo in the bathroom. Will that work for ya?

Your most shameful moment?
Again with the personal questions! Here’s one from high school – I was talking shit about a girl named Tina and closed my locker and guess who was right there? Yeah. Tina. She was dating my boyfriend’s friend and I invited him to a party but not her and had to tell her on the phone that she wasn’t cool enough to come! Can you imagine? I still feel bad about all of that. Why did I do that? That was just cruel.

Bath/Shower?
Showers, mostly.

Markers/Crayons?
LOVE me some markers!

Pens/Pencils?
Hate pencils. Love blue pens.

Jelly/Cream Cheese?
Either is fine with some toast and butters.

Bagel/Toast?
Bagel, depending on the kind.

My greatest weakness is…
Greatest? I’m very very wishy-washy. What I feel passion for – I really feel it. But mostly, I’m fine with whatever. Drives the husband insane.

I wish I was…
more decisive.

Three things I wouldn’t do for a million dollars are…
Sleep with Rush Limbaugh, be in a room with Ann Coulter and jump out of an airplane.

The oddest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth is…
Uh … pass. :-)

Credit card you had?
I have no idea and do you really even care?

Loan you got was for?
a television set in 1983

Paycheck was for how much?
Not much – first job was a fast-food restaurant.

Time you had stitches?
When I managed to split my lip open when I was in 3rd grade.

Time you went to the hospital for something?
Tonsils when I was 4. I remember lots of ice cream.

List everything you ate in the last 24 hours?
For reals? You don’t even care – you know you don’t!

Last thing you used a credit card for?
Manicure and they sure look preeety!

What was your job previous to the one you have now?
Working for a bi-polar individual who made my life a living hell each and every day. (Srsly)

Last thing you celebrated?
Getting my full-time hours back! woo hoo!

Last time you were at a sports bar?
Just this afternoon watching the Caps/Flyers hockey game.