Cramming the days

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I know, I’m a bit behind. But I wasn’t moved by Day 14s question and that jammed up my troof. Seriously, do not read Gal’s letter to Bill Clinton. (her damn writing is giving me a complex!) While I don’t feel quite the same way about former President Clinton, I would agree with her on a good deal of it.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Dear Hal,
I’m not sure what happened but in the blink of an eye, you went from really cool dude to weird dude who seems to crave attention. I know this is actually more about me and how I felt you weren’t paying attention when I was talking to you after your show (finally, I admit it) but it’s not been the same since. I still think are funny as hell and am still amazed that one person’s head can hold that much info. But my love affair with you has ended. Probably for the best.
Let’s just go our separate ways and maybe our paths will meet up again.
Love (or not so much),
Me

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
That would be the internets. Just today I was pondering what would happen if I blew a gasket at work and started slamming things and stabbing people. (Wait, did I say that last thing out loud? Damn. Never mind.) Duty reminded me that there are few, if any, internet privs in prison which is where my ass would be should I go all beserker on my co-workers. So, threatened with the mere thought of no internets, I calmed the fuck down and went back inside my cage. (Yep, that is actually the name of the space where I sit. The Cage. Apt, yes?)

Second to the internets would be coffee. Duh.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

My damn day job. The people are nice (mostly) but if I never, ever have to answer another phone call in my life, I’ll be over the moon with joy. Yesterday, I spent 30 minutes adding a middle initial to a guy’s 40 separate accounts because he would be very upset if his initials were not separated by a space on his statements. (See what kinds of things preoccupy the minds of those with money? This kind of shit.) I am so so so ready to just be done with that job.

I remember when I worked at another firm and knew it was time to leave by this one simple conversation:

Client on phone: my account balance is off by 30 cents.
Me: Uh, what? 30 cents?
Client: Yes. Where’s my 30 cents? You people are stealing from me.
Me: Dude, I will mail you 30 cents tomorrow if you promise me you’ll go outside and take a deep breath and contemplate what’s important. (CLICK)

I am so in the wrong field. Must. leave. soon.

(See? I told you I was in a crap mood. What’s that? I didn’t? Well, now you know.)