You get two chances to answer this and the first one doesn’t count. Ready? Â What lovable goofball is always whining about how much she’d get done if only she had the time? Uh huh.
She’s had the time and you guessed it – nothing got done. Â I am a hardcore slacker with a block the size of Cleveland. Â I’m currently on day two of vacation and so far, I’ve done three 30 minute readings and that’s all. Â What is wrong with me? Â I’ve got stuff to do, newsletters to write, classes to pull together and here I sit playing Diner Dash on my iPad.
Sigh. Â I feel floaty and sad. Not sure why. Â Then that creates cracks where the doubt creeps in. Â As I was driving out to get lunch, I heard “What if you make this big leap and then you do nothing at all but sit on your ass and play games?” Â I know that’s the fear talking, I do. Â And I acknowledged it as such. Â Still, I allowed it to drag me down into the abyss of Stuckville. Â Where I am currently residing.
Anyway, I’ll pull out of it. Pilates tonight (joined by Duty) and I actually like going to that – it’s the only fitness related activity where I truly inhabit my body. Â Once a week is not enough but for now it’s a start.
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I am so in that same boat. Whenever I have a holiday, I have these lists that I need to complete, but you know what I realised the other day? Other people get vacations, I just take leave from my 9 to 5-er in order to get my personal job on the run… That does not seem fair, now does it? Everyone needs some time to be a couch potato, why not me?
My recent post frostbite
As a person who has worked from home for years and years, this is part of the scenario. Please don't let it bother you. I truly and honestly believe that it's part of the process of "letting go." Hard to explain. Trust yourself. You need to entirely relax and release in order to become creative and effective.
My recent post In The Beginning
"Cracks where doubt creeps in." The cracks aren't necessarily bad. In Resilience by Elizabeth Edwards, she warned us not to idealize what we would have done, could have done, used to do, will do, etc., because whatever you're thinking won't really be accurate. And the cracks, well they can be useful, too. From Elizabeth's favorite Leonard Cohen song:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
Without cracks, there will be no light. (And sofas need love, too!)
My recent post Thursday Thirteen 125