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Monday I heard the resolution of the issue with my young “mentor”/co-worker – they are moving him to a different branch where they can give him lots of attention and he’ll be working with brokers that are much (MUCH) less demanding. I’m really glad for him. It’s a sucky place to be – working as hard as your little brain will allow and still not making the grade. And I’m so thankful I work for a company that values employees enough to find a workable solution for all concerned.
However.
That leaves yours truly back at the most sucktastic square one – taking the broker back full-time until at least March. When it dawned on me that this was really going to happen, I went into the bathroom and cried. This was so not the way I had planned things to go and yet, here I am.
I can truly sympathize with my young co-worker because it’s been a hella learning curve for me, too. Things have changed enormously in the financial services industry and the job of a client associate nowadays is very, very different than back when I was doing that work full-time. It’s harder now, things are much more complex and the responsibility (especially in the role for this particular broker) is daunting.
My head is fried now, every single day, from trying to juggle the eighty things on my plate and attending to the ten other “HIGH PRIORITY” things that BrokerBoy dumps in my lap. Not only that, but I am trying to do my regular job (the one I’m paid to do, mind you) and doing it mostly “catch as catch can” and often get behind. Yesterday, mail didn’t come until 3pm and this was mail from Saturday, Monday and Tuesday. We got a buttload of checks in – and I struggled to get them booked into accounts and copied before I had to leave. Fail. BrokerBoy had an issue with an $18million dollar wire coming in so I had to drop everything and take care of that.
I’m so overwhelmed, I’ve lost all creativity for PI and am doing the very minimum to be able to keep it afloat but am falling short there too.
What am I doing to manage it? Well, I plan to sit down with my manager and BrokerBoy and tell them what I can handle. The rest? Up to manager to get it taken care of for the broker. I have to figure out my boundaries, not try to be “the mommy who will fix everything” and stop killing myself over this situation.
I don’t know what happened to that nice, cushy job I had prior to April but it’s gone, baby, gone and it ain’t coming back. We’ve added two new people in the past month, another broker (without an assistant) is coming over soon (and we have no place to put him) – I don’t know what they think they’re going to do there but it’s a big fucking mess anymore. I really, truly cannot wait to be out of there.
I haz a sad.
Oh I’m so sorry…that is a lot of suckage. I particularly feel your pain, as I feel like I’m in a similar situation, and for awhile there was so angry to be deprived of doing what I love to deal with all the other stuff in my life.
I like your plan to draw your boundaries, and I am very curious as to what type of solution your company comes up with. I think you presenting them with the “this is what I’m gonna do and that’s it” scenario is great, and also empowering for you regardless of what happens. Based on what they come up with (or don’t), you can make your decision at that time.
I echo Jody…is it possible for you to leave yet? or get something part-time?
Sending lots of hugs and love.
K
Or talk to Duty about leaving, or discuss finding a part-time position somewhere until Practically Intuitive generates enough incomes. Seriously, is this any way to live your life? You know the answer.
There’s a phrase we use a lot on our side of the financial marketing equation: “The New Normal.” Meaning the economy sucks and is going to suck for a while to come and we’re not going back to the Clinton era any time soon. If at all. When we use it, it’s to remind us that the old ways of talking to consumers about financial products won’t work. It’s a new world.
I find it’s helpful to talk to myself that way about my career, too.
EVERYTHING is different now. Suddenly nothing we learned during those decades in the business really helps us predict the future, and it’s scary. I have been sitting here at home for weeks, fielding messages from the front, and I don’t know what they mean. So it’s more than just my abdominal incision that’s making me uncomfortable.
I have no advice for you, Snarkela. All I have is empathy. It’s not you, it’s the world around you. And you will get through this because you’re smart and you know your stuff. It’s not going to be fun. It’s not going to be easy. But you’re going to do it. Because you have your personal and professional values in place and you know where you want to go.
So cut yourself a little slack and let yourself cry. Then get back out there! You can do it.